randomz-tephiee

I am ruined for God!

2011-07-28T21:05:00.002+10:00

Over the past few weeks since my last post, I've been "worried" about something. Mainly about answering the question: where to next? (after Bible College) I've been trying to avoid the question but every time it crosses my mind I just shriek at it deep down inside me. I haven't understood why until this week.

A few things happened this week which have made me understand how to approach and answer the above question.

1. On Tuesday my Principal shared about her experience in going about God's calling on her life. She shared about how she prayed for one day having 'the nations' and how at that time she didn't know where God was going to take her, or how that was going to happen. But now years later she is 'living the dream' of those nations.
Now this struck a cord with me with my own personal God-given vision and dream. The dream of being an ambassador for Indonesia, it's church and children. But as my Principal was sharing her life experience God was answering my concern or doubt in regards to it. God is saying that I am the God who is able to do all things. I did it for her I am able to do it for you too, as long as I choose to be faithful in shepherding that vision and dream.

2. In my Pastoral Leadership class today my teacher shared about the Pastoral Leadership call. He delved into 'how do we know if we are called into this leadership?' among many other things that were very insightful and helpful. But one thing that stuck with me was when my teacher shared about his journey into how he got to where he is today. This story struck me because that was and is similar to my story and journey. (Recap: year 10 careers test signified that religious leader was my career path. Being encouraged that one day I would preach.) And as all this resonated in my heart, the teacher gave out stickers that had 'Pastor' written on it. Just like the ones stuck on front row seats that were reserved for Pastors in church services. This really just sealed what I knew God wanted me to be and do. And this was definitely the clarity and direction I was looking for amongst my worry and concern over the weeks. My focus is now shifted from no longer on the small details of things that used to worry me to now knowing the greater picture - Indonesia and the children in my heart.

3. To top all these "occurrences" today in my 2nd part of classes, which was about kids ministry, as the teacher was talking and I was fully engaged with the content, God spoke specifically into my ear, which pierced right into my heart and pictoralised in my mind. He said "The children you teach today will be the adults you preach to one day". And immediately the vision I saw was of my sunday school kids 10 years from now and me preaching to them! That has now not only changed me but transformed me!

So I guess in ending this post, I'd like to encourage all of us who may be in a state of worry or concern as to where life is headed, look to God and His Word. Really. He will never fail to communicate to us in one or another where we are headed. And surround yourself with His Word and His people. He will speak through them to reveal to you what your have been searching.

I pray in your searching you will find Him!

Dreaming the Dream.

2011-07-02T18:49:00.000+10:00

A few weeks ago I had a dream. I'm not a usual night dreamer (if that even exists) so I really paid attention to this dream. What's the dream?

The dream midway through. I was at home and in the middle of packing, packing whatever I could get my hands on and packing them in a suitcase. I remember I was in my room with my mum and sister. They were helping me get my stuff together. It was all a rush. All I could remember was asking my mum "why do I have to be in a rush mum? Why is this all of a sudden? I don't like to be rushed. I like plans and this was not planned." And my mum just said "just go with it. Eerything will be fine."

Deep down I knew I was packing to go to Indonesia. And my dad was waiting downdtairs of our apartment ready to take me to the airport.

I gathered all my stuff, passport in hand but no ticket! My mum said I'll purchase over the counter at the airport.

My sister and mum took me to the airport and my dad just dropped us off. My dad wished me well and my num and sister helped check me in. Throughout all this I was sort of in a daze. Not 100% sure of what was going on.

I checked in and did all that and in a fuze of all of it, I asked God what was happening. He of course didn't answer. He made me reflect on the events of everything. I observed that my parents weren't going and neither was my sister. I was only going away for less than 1 week. And to Indonesia. It was then after realising all this that I knew that I was going to Indonesia for ministry. What sort of ministry, I wasn't sure.

All I knew was that this dream was the dream God had planted in my heart a few years ago about my ministry with and in Indonesia.

I guess God was reminding me of where God wants to take me and to not lose sight of that. That Indonesia is what God wants to use me for and all I am right now is preparation for it.

Who would have thought that doing the laundry would cause you to tear up?!

2011-06-20T23:58:00.001+10:00

Have you had experiences in your life where they cause you pause, reflect and ponder about the path you are in, the journey you are on and the decisions (whether made up in your mind or just a thought or real life decision) you have made? Have you made the right decisions? Have you started off walking in the direction God wants you to be on but somehow you have started making "little" decisions on your own "thinking" that that is what God wants you to do.

It's like a house. (I'm just going to use a house as an illustration) God has promised you a house. A big house with 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a pool, a garden, etc. And so you keep praying about it, faith-filled prayers and believing for God's promise to come to pass and over a period of time God answers your prayers. You are blessed with a house.

So you're at the stage of thanking God for the blessing. You're excited and you're happy for the family to move into this "dream" house. You starting unpacking, putting things into the house. You start arranging how your house looks like. You might even get an interior decorator in your house to help you decide what to do. And all this time you're "busy" decorating your new house, you've completely forgetten about God! You've put Him off to the side because you've already gotten what you wanted and now you're taking charge. And without realising you fall into this cycle of just asking for God's promises to be made known in your life, He reveals it to you, He tells you what His purposes are, you recieve it, you pray about it, you take steps towards achieving it, continue praying about, you receive the promise He made to you but you forget what His purpose for that blessing was in the first place.

Just like the house, you got it and started to make it all about you and not letting God help you decorate the house He has given you. That is our lives. He blesses us, we take control and do what we want with it. And what I'm saying here is not that we shouldn't enjoy the blessing and making it our own but above all that don't lose sight of what and why God gave you that blessing in the first place. God doesn't want to just be the giver of the blessing but He wants to be part if not all of the blessing we receive.

And so this is what I had been reflecting on today while I was doing the laundry. My mind was caused to reflect back on a particular situation that happened over the weekend. I thought it over and over again. I began mapping out my solutions, potentially my "escape" route. But as I was mapping out my solutions and "escape" route, the Holy Spirit kept on prompting me to reflect on whether my "escape" routes reflected what God promised me He will do in my life. And of course, knowing that these were MY own solutions and "escape" routes, they were of course not reflecting God's will. That shattered me. I felt my eyes well up in tears. (I couldn't believe that doing the laundry - causing me to pause and reflect - would have such an effect on me). And so I stopped my mapping out of an "escape" route and asked God what He was trying to say to me through what has happened and asking Him what He wants me to do with what I have done (Bible College)?

That's when He reminded me of a dream I had last week. Actually there were two dreams, where one of them is happening now. The other dream that has not happened yet is the one God is reminding me about. Basically, the dream was about Indonesia, I suddenly had to leave to go to Indonesia for less than a week, without my parents ot family. Deep down in my heart zi knew it had something to do with my ministry.

And so here's what I've learnt through all of this: when God blesses us (me going to Bible College) it's not for us to use for our own pleasures (me mentally deciding what my ministry will look like-Children's Pastor) but rather to align ourselves with His purposes (God wants me to be a Children's Pastor but perhaps not in the way I'd mentally envisage it). Because when He blesses us there is also His purpose in it and behind it. Don't lose sight of that. Always reflect and make sure that our decisions are based on His purposes.

Now I'm not saying that when God blesses us we can't have our own way and do what we want. Again, I'd like to stress on the point that are we aligning ourselves with God's purposes through that blessing? I believe that once we can answer that then we will know whether or not the decision we are making is based on self or based on what God has purposed for you?

Approachable God.

2011-06-16T23:50:00.000+10:00

I was just sharing to my tutorial class just yesterday about how the vision God gave me at my first College Chapel experience. The vision of me walking towards God's light and knowing that that light is God Himself. It was an incredible sight but above all that the significance was that though God seemed distant, afar, and what seemed "unreachable" in that vision, the Holy Spirit just reminded me to keep walking towards that light, for it is God Himself. He wants me to draw near to Him.

And this was again reflected in my devotion tonight. I was reading 1 Timothy 6:11-16, where is describes God living in unapproachable light. Now that description caught my attention. Unapproachable light. I repeated that a few times over in my head. Unapproachable light. He lives in unapproachable light. But He is the approachable God. so what I learnt from these Scriptures is that God is in "unapproachable light" in the sense that He is holy, pure, blameless, spotless. Nothing and no one can distain His purity but at the same time He is an approachable God through His Son Jesus. My impurity, imprefection, coloured life has been made a heart and life that is now approachable for God.

And this really made sense for me when I look back and think about my first College Chapel vision. That even though God was light and seemed like He was unapproachable He is actually approachable through His Son and with the help of the Holy Spirit. But most importantly, God was us to approach Him.

So reflect today, have you embraced our approachable God? He is waiting patiently for us to come. Come, come, come my sons and daughters.

Brings back memories and an inspired heart...

2011-05-31T16:00:00.003+10:00

When my Assistant Team Leader asked me to send her a slide show of my kindergarten school in Jakarta, I didn't think much of it. I just thought, yes I can do that. I've got video documentation that can help with this slide show. But what I didn't realise was how much I really miss the school, the community, the parents, the teachers and also very much the children.

So the story is the teachers in our ministry in Sydney are organizing a fund raiser where the children will be asked to raise the money through their creativity. And my Assistant Team Leader wants to research some initiatives that can be presented as ideas for the children to choose which one to fund raise for. So my kindergarten school is one initiative the children could choose from to fund raise for.

And so when I started compiling the materials together (a slide show of video, sound and text) I began watching the video documentation that I had recorded myself last year in July, it brought back a rush of memories. With it also a reignited passion and an inspired heart to keep doing what I'm doing now because God has placed me here for a reason. The reason being for these children and God's Kingdom.

So if you're facing some "grey" days right now and need some inspiration or a reignited passion for your call and journey, just look back what God has initially called you for. Talk to the people who have started this journey with you. Pull out documentations (notes, video, photos, etc.) that record your journey and call. It''' inspire you to see and believe that you are on the path you are meant to be on and know that in it God is in it and there with you. Don't get weary, don't get down or tired. There are other people's eternity attached to our decisions to get inspired and to act and to do something. Let's do it!

Available to love.

2011-05-20T23:14:00.000+10:00

Blog Thursday 12th May, 2011

Met a lady who was a writer like myself. She's been in the writing industry for some time now. We talked about God, life, journalism industry and we really connected.

She opened up and and we shared our stories. It was really awesome because she was the experienced writer who has been in the industry for a while. And I'm the "newbie" but our perspectives had been aligned.

I really learnt this morning that God will connect us with people for encouragement, support, prayer. We don't know what God has in plan but we need to make ourselves available. Available to bless others because there are many out there who just need us to be available to give, to listen, to love.

...It'll cost you this much...

2011-05-10T22:02:00.000+10:00

Got to work and there is news my Monday shift maybe cut because of new management trading hours. At first was really upset and scared about not having the money. After reflection and asking God about why this is happening particularly after today's Personal Leadership class about "Staying Fresh" God answered my prayer. God knew that I couldn't go on functioning just as I am now with almost 4 work shifts a week, full time study and ministry. And on top of that 'stay fresh'. It was all too much and I wasn't focusing on my health-spiritually, emotionally and physically. I want to exercise, I want to read books, I want to maintain relationships but I never have the time.

So I had my concerns about today's classes because I wanted to 'rest' and spend more time on the things important to me and to God's purposes but I also needed the money. And after the news from my acting manager, it seems God has answered!

With cutting my Monday shift, I have time to relax and re-focus. But my income will still stay the same as my Sunday shift is double hourly pay.

I learnt to fully trust God. And I know that today's Chapel Revelation meant my finances. What if God asked me for what I hold dearest too? Will I still give it? I'm learning now to surrender all to God for all His purposes, even if it'll cost me. Because I know what costs me now will only benefit me and my generations later.

What will it cost you?

2011-05-10T13:45:00.001+10:00

Chapel Revelation Tuesday 10th May 2011

We sang "Awakening" and there's a line: 'let your will be done in me.'

As I sang that God challenged me and asked: what if My will will cost you Stephanie? Cost you dearly. Cost you what is precious to you? Will you still want My will to be done in you?

This really caught me! Because at most times we pray for God's will to be done in us but often we ourselves stop or hinder God's will to be done in us because we don't want to pay the price. We tend to live a life that always wants, wants, wants. Society teaches a mentality of receiving. Let's upturn this so that God's will is done, really done in our lives!

Make it count!

2011-05-05T17:46:00.000+10:00

Last night in my cell group, I shared with my friends about what I had been experiencing these past few weeks – all the challenges and struggles. As I was sharing it the Hoy Spirit explained to me how this was a “furnace” period for me and how during this “challenge” God is only trying to mould me into the design He originally had in mind for me. I believe that through this “furnace” time it only intensified my passion, my desire and my love for my ministry, God’s people and the church. And I believe that was the goal God had in mind for me.

Obviously as you can read from my previous posts, I had been struggling but with this new perspective that I’m in God’s “furnace” for a moulding period then it really encouraged me to keep striving and not letting go and giving up in the “furnace”.

This was really the heart of God’s message for me during this time even more so as I was reading my devotional last night. I was reading Ecclesiastes 11:1-6. It was here God spoke to me about:
-life changes, there will be things happening and I won’t have control and can’t plan it but I need to trust God in it.
-I am blessed to be blessing. What I have in my hand is not mine but it’s God’s so when God asks for it, I should have no reasons to say no.

But above all these things, I learnt most from these verses that today, right now, this moment could be the last time I can do something for God so I must have the most of it.

This last point has really resonated with me for some time now. I feel the Holy Spirit telling me that with my ministry, my work, my family and friend, etc. that I have to do what I can and everything I can for God because there may not be a second chance or another time. I ‘m not sure why God is saying this but I’m sure that my response to it needs to be that of an urgency and seriousness in all that I do and in doing so making sure that all that I do is with purpose and only accounts for significance to God.

My encouragement from this post is: don’t let time pass without making it count towards God’s cause. Keep in mind that in all we do do it with an eternal purpose attached to it. People may not repay you but God’s rewards surpass it all.

Into the 'furnace' you go...

2011-05-05T00:40:00.001+10:00

I was in my cell group tonight and sharing about what's been happening with me lately. All the "challenges" with workload etc. Everything I've been "struggling" with these past few weeks.

But as I was sharing this God was teaching and telling me that I'm currently in a furnace. A furnace where God is continually refining me to be better and "sparkle" (not in a prideful but humble way). I believe that God is teaching and instilling in me a greater passion, love, value and significance into my ministry!

And because I now understand why God has purposed me for this 'furnace' I can better manage my responses to people and situations. And that is real important!

Jumping words...

2011-05-04T23:44:00.003+10:00

We were in our Old Testament class and was asked to take some time to meditate on some verses and see/hear what God is revealing to us.

We looked at Psalm 15 and Psalm 24:3-6. This exercise was really interesting for me since I love reading and delving deeper than the surface. So I really tuned my eyes and ears to the moving of the Holy Spirit.

And this is what happened...

In Psalm 15 God revealed:
-the word "dwell" => to be in Your sanctuary. (Literally) But metaphorically and personally God is saying that "dwell" means to a "private" place with God, my bestfriend
-the word "live" => there is access to all of God's "heavenly things" when we obey the commands of this chapter.
-and because of our commitment to these commands God's promise to us will never be shaken.

In Psalm 24:3-6 God revealed:
-verse 3 => God is almighty, Holy and big. The word "ascend" means there is work and effort that needs to be made in order to meet with God and to be with Him.
-it also says that because God is so holy who can be in His presence? Only those who can ascend and "meet"/fulfill the requirements of Psalm 15.
-verse 4 => those who follow these commands can ascend the hill of God.
-verse 5 => this outlines the rewardsfor ascending the hill of God.
-verse 6 => this is how our "makeup" should be as God's generation who seek His face.

This was an amazing class exercise for me as it really heightened my sensitivity to God's Spirit and what He wants me to learn and share. I'm really excited about it!

Watch what goes into your mouth!

2011-05-04T23:36:00.002+10:00

In today's tutorial class we talked about healthy living and how that impacts our journey with God and our ministry.

A couple of key notes that really struck me during the tutorial were:
-the spirit and the body cannot be separated. That is why both need to be balanced. It is my responsibility to be attentive to both and not just the spirit side. I need to listen to what my body is saying because...
-a healthy body = maximising God's plan and purpose in us for generations to come. When we live physically healthy, it'll eliminate sickness (unless Godly designed for other reasons) and there is a greater chance to do and see God's plan in us be fulfilled.
-healthy living = going the distance for God.

And finally but most importantly, which really resonated within my spirit was this:
healthy living is not just about me but it's about the otehrs around and most importantly the generation that is to come. Being healthy now will reap it's rewards in the next generation's bearnace of great fruit.

This really intensified my passion and value for my ministry!

Going the Distance

2011-05-04T23:20:00.002+10:00

Yesterday's Chapel Sermon was so timely and impactful for me and my current situation. It was about "Going the Distance." The title itself is quite self-explanatory But the main points were:
-there is no alternative, there is no quitting.
-we dictate the atmosphere and not be influenced by the atmosphere.
-when we're running on the "treadmill" let's not lag but be fresh.
All these above points refer to how my attitude and outlook should be towards my ministry and workload.

Further main points that struck a cord in me include:
-we need a series of decision internally that will allow us to finish the race. There is no point in starting if I won't finish. And this is related to the Youth Service message last week, it was preached that god would not start something in us that He will not finish Himself in us.
-if you're not running to win then don't run... Bearing in that that when we do run we don't run for competition sake but because we run in the life that Jesus gave us to live.

And example of this "Going the Distance" is seen through the life of Samuel. He continued to serve the Lord and led the people all the days of his life. Not just some days when he felt like it, but all days he served the Lord.

A thought to ponder: do you think Jesus was exhausted when He was carrying the Cross?! After being whipped to "death" and facing death He still carried on anyway because He knew He had to finish the mission.

How does this effect me?
Well I learnt that I have to serve and lead all the days of my life, not just on some days or on good days but on all days.

It's not an option to not turn up to my "work" because there are people relying on my contribution. The thought of my ministry, my children, the next generation, the ROCKidz make me turn up! If we don't turn up then something happens to the "link" of Abraham and Isaac that is passed down unto us.

And with this there were a couple of things to regularly do:
-rely on God always
-offer yourself into a personal devotional relationship with God

These reminded me of how I need to be able to sustain myself in my ministry and in my call and continue going the distance.

This message really changed me!

Catch uppppp... Sunday 1st May 2011

2011-05-02T23:09:00.002+10:00

I was doing my devotional and was encouraged by the message: "Not knowing it all". It talks about being still and enjoying God's presence all the time. What stuck to me the most about this message was how we unknowingly revert to works to 'earn' God's favour. We actually miss out on what the Lord is trying to teach us - that He wants us to be still and enjoy being in His presence regardless of what we're going through. The Father of all creation yearns for relationship with us and enjoys being with us.

This message taught me a few things:
- 'earn' God's favour -> there is nothing for me to add. He wants to give it to me and in that there lies my significance (relate to Birthday message) and in knowing that my significance is from God it eliminates any fear in me and all I need to do is be still in His presence all the time.
- yearns for a relationship -> lately as I've been experiencing an emotional journey that God is teaching me about how He wants me to depend on Him always through a relationship!

And finally, at the Youth Service last night I was challenged by this thought:
So what will be the last thing I do before I meet Christ? Will I be caught outworking God's purpose for my life or will I be simply doing something else worth far less than God's purpose?

Catch uppppp... Saturday 30th April 2011

2011-05-02T23:04:00.002+10:00

It was Saturday night - 10pm and I was doing my devotional time and it was about strength in the Lord. I read Ecclesiastes 7:3-9 where it encouraged me that God alone was my strength.

And just a moment ago before my devotional time I was looking through my schedule and seeing my workload. I was overwhelmed... To the point I was a tad stressed. But this devotion encouraged and strengthened me... God doesn't want me to burn out... He
just wants me to rely and depend on Him to get the work done... And that's what I'll do!

Catch uppppp... Thursday 28th April 2011

2011-05-02T22:57:00.002+10:00

On this date I went to Sisterhood and was serving on the Pamper Team when I met 2 ladies. One lady had blessed me with a book called "The Voice of the Martyrs: Heroic Faith". I was massaging her hands when we got to chat about God and life. We got talking and I shared with her about my passions for Indonesia and she just simply gave me that book. Very kind and encouraging of her!

The other lady I was serving was lovely! We chatted and she was very friendly! I was really blessed that morning to be a blessing...

Catch uppppp... Saturday 23rd April 2011

2011-05-02T22:52:00.002+10:00

I got to spend this day with the children I usually teach on a weekly basis. Their parents were in a Seminar and so I was with the children. The set up was very cool-more like a cell group setting where we have Bible quizzes, sharing time, activity and games.

I really got to appreciate each and every one of these children as I got to know them more-a different side to each. I learnt that these children have described how they want to be a doctor-to help people, to be an actor-to make people laugh. I also learnt how some are natural born leaders and some are natural observers.

But in all things I got to learn and see how God loves all of them and has a special future for them and my task is that as long as I am around it is my responsibility to sow seeds and allow them to grow in these children.

Catch uppppp... Tuesday 19th & Wednesday 20th April 2011

2011-05-02T22:45:00.002+10:00

This week I learnt a few things from class, which really spoke to the heart of my situation and pressures of this week, which I journalled. They included my Public Speaking class where we were learning about managing negative feedback. I learnt here that I needed to sort through my feedback and response to these pressured situations and ask myself whether it is God’s purpose for me to be stressed. And realising that it is not God’s purpose for me to be stressed and because of that He will give me the strength to overcome it. This also encouraged me as I was reminded of Duncan Corby’s preaching at last week’s Chapel about balance in work.

I also found that this week when I struggle with ministry, I probably shouldn’t say ‘struggle’ but more of ‘challenged’ by my ministry as many people rely on me to get things done. And being the “perfectionist” that I am I always do the best but end up finding myself in “knots” because I can’t keep up. But God is great! In this week’s Old Testament class we learnt about Moses and his leadership and why he didn’t enter the Promised Land. This really got to me because at my current situation where so many people require my attention (hence informally positioning myself as a leader) and it seems people around me want so much from me, it is important to keep in line and focussed on God’s instructions. Because I don’t want to end up like Moses where because of his response (not instructed by God) of hitting the rock instead of speaking to it costed him the Promised Land. I really don’t want these “challenges” to pressure me into doing what is not instructed by God.

Let's not look at our "struggles" through the perspective of "struggle" (even though it is) but let's look at it as a "challenge". Because challenges inspire us to move forward and to do better and to be better the next time round.

Catch uppppp... Friday 15th April 2011

2011-05-02T22:31:00.001+10:00

This date was a particularly special one as it was my Birthday. And I spent it at Chapel where I received this Birthday Revelation.

I remember God impressing in my heart this: I am only SIGNIFICANT because of Christ who is in me. It's all about Christ! The cause of Christ. This year my birthday is not about my needs but the needs of others. I am insignificant (in the greater scheme of things) and God is significant in me! These past 22 years I've been living under the understanding that I am only significant as my performance proves but the new revelation for my birthday this year is that I am already significant because of Christ.

"I don't care what they say I'm in love with you."

And during Chapel's Praise&Worship: My spirit said less and less of me and more and more of Him. When I am less of me and pursue God and investing in others, my needs will be filled in and by God. It just secured my insecurities about who will take care of me and my family when I 'give' into others? But God says "I will
Stephanie."

And so Stephanie's 23rd Birthday Revelation from God is: in all my insecurities about
who will 'fend' for me and my family when God is asking me to give
more and invest more into people, God simply yet reassuringly says 'I
will Stephanie!' That voice, those words just tore down 23 years of
foundational insecurities. God's 'I will' is a guarantee I will hold
unto. Whose guarantee are you holding unto today?

Catch uppppp... Sunday 10th April 2011

2011-05-02T22:23:00.002+10:00

I was serving at Kids church on this date and remember the guest speaker sharing with the kids about Praise & Worship. She referred to Luke 18:15-16 where it says "People were also bringing babies to Jesus for him to place his hands on them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. 16 But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."

I really learnt from these verses that God adores His children and wants to be with them! This really gave new perspective and new meaning to my ministry and the way in which I do it because I understand more now that my ministry is about bringing these children to God, just the way God intends.

We had a teachers meeting on this date as well and I remember sort of feeling 'tired' and "weared down" and during that meeting the Holy Spirit just said this: you still need to keep swimming Stephanie. The race has not yet finished. You've taken your breathe of fresh air but now you have to dive your head back in the water and keep swimming this race." I knew this was encouragement from God. Encouragement for me to keep going ahead as the race is no yet done. It isn't done just because you've taken a breathe of fresh air. You haven't reached the finish line yet!

Catch uppppp... Saturday 9th April 2011

2011-05-02T22:17:00.002+10:00

I was at work this date and I was talking to my work friend who was interested in what I did on the weekends and what I studied. When I shared to her about my College life and my ministry life and God's call over me since I was 12 years old, she was inspired. She was interested and then inspired.

I remember talking with her about all these things and just remember God telling how this is what life is about. To share your life story with others so that others will be inspired, inspired to know Christ that is in me.

And I remember learning that as long as I want to be used by God, as long as I am opened to the moving of His Spirit then there is no reason for me to never or to stop sharing my story, my story that reflects Christ alone.

This was a reflection for me to always be mirroring Christ. Who are we mirroring each day?

Catch uppppp... Friday 8th April 2011

2011-05-02T22:04:00.003+10:00

I had a chat with my mum on this date. We talked about a few things but I could remember most was about how our birthdays were coming up in a few weeks and I vividly remember God's Spirit telling me to encourage my mum. Encourage her that as she approaches her 50th Birthday that there are still many more things God wants her to accomplish. Her work is not done yet but rather this is only the start. And as long as she is open to the moving and direction of God, she will step up further in God and in every other aspect in her life. I also remember God saying that for the both of us, my mum and I to start outworking what has been trusted in our hands. This is not the time to sit idle but to work for the Kingdom of God like as if today may be the last day.

And I remember God impressing in my heart that as long as we (my mum and I) do the will of God and step it up this year as He has planned greater things for us, He will step up the blessings that He has already purposed for us.

So I was encouraged by this Godly message as I believe that God has already purposed great blessing for all His children but at times what prevents or hinders that blessing is us. When we don't follow in obedience then that blessing is held of until a further time when we are ready to step it up. This doesn't mean that God is a mean God and just wants to "tease" us with blessings but rather the way I see it is the more we step up the larger the blessing becomes. The more smaller steps we take the more smaller the blessing becomes. Which is your pick?

Catch uppppp... Monday 28th March 2011

2011-05-02T21:55:00.003+10:00

So the night before Monday 28th March, 2011 God had stirred me to bless my sister. She had a school camp that was coming up where she needed to pay the rest of her fees. And that night God stirred me to bless her financially. So I followed through with the Spirit despite considering my own situation of having to save for my own future tuition fees. But my spirit just urged me to follow and I did.

And guess what happened the next day? I went ti work and got an email saying I got a pay rise and that there were some miscalculated pays from last year which they will repay back to me before July this year!!!

How great is our God?! I never thought of it but God gave it to me and He even multiplied. I didn't have to do much except to just follow His lead and Spirit to bless my sister the night before!

God's promise is true: be blessed to be a blessing. Don't ever think
you can out bless God. He will show you otherwise.

It was also in this week and during this time when I put into practice what I've learnt about a leader's prayer and how powerful and impactful it is. And the above testimony is evidence of that. I didn't need to worry about work shifts or pay as long as I did my best at work and trusted God through prayer, it was given to me!

Catch uppppp... Friday 25th March 2011

2011-05-02T21:43:00.002+10:00

This week during Chapel we had a special event. It was where Chapel was "touching heaven" and we were lifting the roof in Praise and Worship and friends were praying and prophesying for each other. The atmosphere was indescribable. It was amazing to be in His house!

I remember during this particular Chapel Service my spirit say to God "Lord, I surrender to Your perfect will and Your perfect heart." At the time I didn't quite understand why my spirit was saying that was in hindsight now I know that my spirit wants to be obedient to God and wants to just follow God alone and no one else, not even my own ambitions.

It was also at this Chapel Service where God spoke to my dear friend, Lovely. He spoke to her, a message (prophesy) for me. She said that God was saying how God has chosen me and that He will use my mightly. "She is mine" says the Lord and "I will use her for Children's Ministry but nit necessarily in teaching." After hearing that I knew exactly what God was talking about. I was in tears!

I have been struggling with this the past few weeks. I know God has been speaking into my heart about perhaps one day leaving Children's Ministry but still somehow working
with kids. Perhaps in a Children's Pastor role? I wasn't 100 sure but after this message from God through my friend, it just confirmed what God had been putting in my heart lately about it.

Who would have thought? I never did! And that's the beauty of our God, what never passes your mind or thought will be given to you, as He promises.

Catch uppppp... Thursday 17th March 2011

2011-05-02T21:35:00.002+10:00

So I was at the Entertainment Centre and we were praying for the start of Colour Conference 2011. All the volunteers gathered together in the foyer and I remember vividly the presence of the Holy Spirit during that prayer time at 2pm. It was strong and evident. It was almost tangible. It was stirring. I knew that this Conference was out to change these women's lives and it was going to be awesome for the Kingdom of God! I believed that this particular prayer along with many others was what made the Conference great!

During Colour Conference I learnt through my assigned role, the "meet & greet team" that seeing these women had touched my spirit and brought tears to my eyes as I began to see them the way God does. They feel valued, loved, special because of God. In a strange way God made me feel these womens' heart beat. What made them "tick" was running through my mind. It was strange but the only conclusion I could make of it was that God wanted me start relating to His people the way He does so that I could better understand them and better help them in their journey with God!

I was blessed by these ladies and by God's work in them!

Catch uppppp... Tuesday 15th March 2011

2011-05-02T20:57:00.002+10:00

Geez, it's been a while since I last blogged! To catch upppp... On Tuesday 15th March, 2011 I learnt this:
That the best teacher in the whole world to me is the Holy Spirit. I'm learning that when God instructs or directs me, the Holy Spirit is there to encourage me,
guide me, strengthen me and most times poses questions in my heart
that causes me to reflect and reassess. I thank God for the Holy Spirit! I would be lost without Him!

Jesus' Spirit that is in me.

2011-03-06T23:04:00.001+11:00

Jesus speaks through Parables. The same God speaks to me through Parables. These Parables about other people. I believe that the same Spirit that is in Jesus is the same Spirit that is in me. I'm beginning to realise that all that Jesus did I am able to do, not because of me but because of the same Spirit that is in Jesus is also me.

"Date time" with God

2011-03-02T18:16:00.001+11:00

My devotional time is like my “date time” with God! So let's be creative and interesting with our devotional time with God. Don't let it fall into rountinity!

Ka-BOOM!

2011-03-02T18:14:00.001+11:00

In today’s worship prayer time I learnt that it is not just a one-way communication, where we give God a “shopping list of our requests” but it is about Him speaking to us about ourselves and other people. So next time we pray don’t just pray with an open heart and open mouth but also come with open ears and a receiving heart - to be changed and to change for others.

We all love 'Takeaways' right?!

2011-03-02T15:32:00.000+11:00

So I'm beginning to understand that everytime I finish class and reflect on the lessons of day, God speaks revelation into my heart.

Well from now on I will take what God says into my heart and translate it into 'Takeaway' statements or reflections for you and I to meditate on together.

So today's 'Takeaway' is: God is as interested about our 'own' church, what is going on the inside of us, how is our relationship with God, as He is about the local and global church. If our 'individual' church is growing, all our other 'individual' churches are growing then there will be impact and change when all these 'individual' churches come together on a local and global scale, in terms of fulfilling God's purpose. So how is our 'individual' church going?

More randomz.

2011-03-01T18:43:00.002+11:00

1. Yesterday at work a customer had come into my shop. She asked me what I was studying. I said: Pastoral Leadership. She said: "oh you're studying to become a farmer?" I laughed inside! In hindsight I guess you could say I'm training to be a 'farmer.' A farmer who is shepharding His 'cattle' back to Him!

2. I came home from today's Personal leadership reflecting on what's been happening in my life the past few days (stress at work) and my current state of studying and being in ministry. I love these moments. Most of them consist of me sitting on the bus on my way to or from somewhere (that's why I love catching buses-alone time to reflect). And today after class on the bus my way home as I was reflecting, and this was the outcome: People always ask me or say "you always seem to be so SURE of yourself. You're so SURE that you want to be in the ministry, hence your enrolment into College." My response: "I'm not SURE of MYself. I have never been SURE of MYself. But I am SURE of the ONE who called me. Because it has never been about me but rather about the ONE who called me!" It was like God putting that reflection in my heart in order to pose this question for others: Who are you SURE of? And what or who is your life reflecting?

3. I was going over my Personal Leadership class from today in my mind and the Holy Spirit put this into my heart: Our lives are a tool used to bring God's Word into reality. So when our leaders teach from their own lives don't judge them. They've decided to life their lives as a testament to God's Word. The fact that we place so much emphasis, criticism on them says so much(?)or so little(?)about our own relationship with God&our outworking of God's purpose in us. I think we as the "masses" can easily judge people in position or leadership but we don't easily want to be held accountable for our own relationship with God.

Just thought I'd share these thoughts with you!

Just random.

2011-02-18T13:18:00.002+11:00

"God's heart is my cause." (Chapel Friday 18th Feb 2011)

There is meaning to mess. Think of a road construction site and all its inconveniences. It causes nuisance now but creates great buildings later. So when there is a mess in your life now don't stress over it but chose to see that the end product is beautiful.

God's Word, my execution, His plan, my obedience.

2011-02-17T19:09:00.004+11:00

In my Old Testament Introduction class today, I learnt a few things:
- We are supposed to "look like" the Word everyday. Let's not look into our wardrobe to look for what to wear in the morning but let's look into the Word of God to see what to "wear."
- Don't just learn at the expense of practising. As we learn we must practise it.
- God's plan has nothing to do with me. But because of His grace He included us in His plan.
- Our plan is only a slice of His greater plan. Hence don't stress out! Let Him do His 'thing' in us.

Understanding simple things such as these helps me know and understand what God is doing in my life and how I should respond to every season that comes.

Shout it!

2011-02-17T19:03:00.002+11:00

At my first Sisterhood, Pastor Bobbie Houston today at the re-launch of Sisterhood, she talked about shouting 'it' louder. Whatever that 'it' is we need to do more, make it clearer, more precise etc. She also talked about moving from strength to strength, and also whatever the conviction that God has put in us we have to live it, speak it louder, whether that be a destiny conviction, let's stir God for it and don't turn back.

This really resonated in my heart and I step into a new year, a new journey with God and to neevr lose sight or lose focus because I need to step it up this year. I need to shout it!

Wooooooooo....

Walk in their shoes Steph.

2011-02-17T18:58:00.001+11:00

This morning I went to my first official Sisterhood Gathering. And part of my College experience I am on the Pampering team. It's great!! Our job is to paint nails, give massages and hair style women just before the Sisterhood service starts. Now that is all the "exterior" elements but the interior elements is equally important if not more.

It's awesome because it's a time to get to know these women, encourage them, inspire them, place value on them and just help them see that they are loved and valued. And this stems only from love, honesty and relationships.

I feel that I'm really learning so much from being on this team. I'm learning to love and appreciate people more. I'm learning to be a great listener. And in doing so I'm walking out God's ministry. And I'm loving it! I've found that being on this team and doing what I'm doing I'm doing what Jesus wants me to do-to serve, to love, to appreciate and to listen to people.

I pray that God just extends more of Himself in me, extends more of His character and heart in me as I continue this College journey. Awesome!!

Read, re-read and read it again until you can visualise it

2011-02-16T18:10:00.002+11:00

So during my devotional today I was reading over the notes I had taken during a sermon at last year’s Youth Service. To be precise the sermon was on the 31st October 2010 and was shared by my Pastor’s son. He was sharing the Word of God from Matthew 20:1-16 about The Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard.

As I was reading the above passage, I tried to implement the skills learnt from yesterday’s Personal Leadership Lecture, which was trying to visualise and putting yourself into the context of what passage or verse you’re reading from the Bible. So with this in mind as I was reading Matthew 20:1-16, God gave me this revelation: Jesus is looking for and “collecting” people to do ‘the work’ because the vineyard, harvest is ripe and ready. But the question God posed in my heart was: are His people ready? Are His people ready to do the work? Because Jesus is looking. He is looking for people today, right now to respond to His greater call. His call to be bigger than you can imagine. His call to be a blessing for others. His call to be the voice for the unheard. His call to be the hand for the unable. Are you ready?

Also, when He has found those who want to do the work, so say for example those already in the ministry or who have followed Christ for some time now and are starting to grumble with complaints just like those in the passage about pay. To us today it may not always necessarily mean pay, money or wages but something like recognition from our leaders or from the ‘big guns’ for all the hard work we’ve done. Well what God is teaching me here is that Jesus, as he said in this passage, ‘Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius?’ (v. 13) Here God is saying that I have told you from the beginning that this is what will happen, this is how much I will pay you, do you want it or not? And that is translated into our lives today by: the work ahead is tough Steph, there will be a lot of hard work, plenty of sacrifices. Will you still do it anyways?

Here I learnt that as I have agreed to do the work, I will learn to accept everything that comes with it even when at times I think I want to grumble because I know the greater picture and the greater reward, which is also in the same verse, verse 13 that God will fulfil His promises to us. Like Jesus promised to the workers in this passage of payment of 1 denarius per day, it is the same to us. Whatever God promised us He will give and reward us He will surely fulfil it not because of our effort but because of His grace this abounds much in us. I understand that we often complain because of the unfair payment between the workers but look at it from the perspective that this passage isn’t talking just about the workers’ effort but the workers’ obedience to God’s call and that God does fulfill every promise and keeps to His word. And that is what I learnt most from reviewing this Scripture, that God’s reward for me is not based on my effort but based on foremost God’s grace that is translated in my response to God’s calls.

Is the microphone on?

2011-02-16T18:01:00.003+11:00

My classes at Hillsong International Leadership College have challenged me, inspired me, kick my ‘backside’ and really opened up new perspectives.

I am surprised every time I leave the classroom and feel challenged and inspired. When I enter a classroom or go into my tutorials and lectures thinking I know what I’ll be learning in my class, God seems to test that and just make me laugh. Laugh, not in the mocking kind of way but in the inspiring and challenging kind of way. Because if you have not known it yet, and you will trust me, you will see that God always has something for you to learn and for you to grow from. It doesn’t matter if you think you know everything about a certain subject, He will challenge and inspire you even further.

I’m sharing this from my experience in class today. Today we had our first Public Speaking and Presentation tutorial and coming into class today I was thinking ‘this’ll be an easy peasy class. I know pretty much everything there is to know about Public Speaking having already been a High School Captain, undertaking Public Speaking classes and also completing a Communications Degree.’ But nope! God challenged and inspired me with new revelation during this class. He impressed into my heart this: the fact that the TRUTH is in me, God’s Word and His message for His people is sufficient enough for me to overcome my fears and insecurities of speaking in public. How awesome is that?! When we begin to realise that public speaking isn’t about us but about God, His message and His people, we will be at ease in delivering His Word. We won’t be overwhelmed by our nerves, our inabilities, our weaknesses but we realise that God’s greater call for us – to spread the Gospel isn’t about us but about Him and His Spirit moving in us, within us and through us.

This really changed the way I looked at Public Speaking. I know now that it isn’t about my limitations but it’s about God’s purpose through me for the people. And that is enough for me to not get “twisted” the next time I’m asked to speak in pubic.

A whole lot of udgbvlashfxemhflinyriuegcnxfiuerxgruyec in my mind…

2011-02-15T17:37:00.001+11:00

These first couple of weeks of College has been mind blowing. When I thought I knew everything about a certain subject such as Communication or Church, I would be surprised, enthralled, shaken to my wits. Every class is different. Every class is challenging. Every class is life defining.

I’m both fearful and also excited to see what the outcome of this year will be for me personally, spiritually, and emotionally and everything in between.

Every day I leave College wondering and pondering and becoming thirstier after God’s heart and will. I guess more importantly I’m more intrigued by how and why He is doing what He is doing in my life. I mean I know and trust in the promises He has for my life but I’m intrigued as to how He will go about it in my life. I know that the larger part of this is on my behalf: how I will obey, how I will respond to His call and word. But in all things it is just making me fall head over heels in love with Him and who He is for me.

I guess I over think as to how God is going to make all these promises happen through my life when really through the little things in my life I’m already experiencing parts of His promises. And that is such an amazing thing! All this time I thought I needed to be somebody first, or achieve certain things in my life before He could use me but really with who I am today, just my faith and obedience is all God needed in order to use me for His greater purpose. And I think that is a great lesson in itself: don’t think too far about how things will happen as long as we believe and obey in Him.

I’m sharing this off experience. When God had put into my heart to invest in a kindergarten school in Jakarta, I never thought of the people I would meet and how I would meet them. I did think and consider how I was supposed to finance this project in the long term but it didn’t stop me. I went ahead anyways in faith.

But now not even a year into the fruition of the school and God has worked wonders and has amazed me! God has teamed me with people who love Him, love His cause and love His people. God has immensely blessed this school beyond my own thought or ‘original plan.’ But that is our God. He will go out of His way to make sure whatever we lay our hands to do, according to His word and will, will always prosper and never fail.

Just yesterday the kids in the school celebrated Valentines Day and they have been blessed with new school sports shoes. God has sent His people to bless these kids and my heart is just full of warmth, love, grace and thanksgiving to my God and to my fellow brothers and sisters who have invested in these kids.

And so I guess if someone asked me who my Valentine is for 2011, I would firstly say: My God, My Jesus but secondly I would say the 30 odd little hearts in the run down village, in a run down community, in a small, shanty town but in a school, in a family and in God’s heart-they are the kids in the kindergarten.

And to finish off today’s post, my revelation for today from God was this:
Being a leader means you have to do what others don’t want to do. You have to fill in the shoes less worn and walk the road less traveled. Because being leader isn’t about me but it’s about others. It’s about my ‘death’ so that there is resurrection of life in others. And God is asking me today whether I would die and live for others?

This came about after finishing my first Personal Leadership class. And I guess in true honesty I am not able yet to answer that question the way God intends for me. But I know that it is a process and a journey and that process and journey begins now as I go through this College year with my God.

I’m excited and I do want to be able to answer that question the way God wants but in honesty where I am at right now I cannot but I have full faith that what God has installed for me this year will surely make me think, speak and believe otherwise and I’m letting Him do that. I want Him to do that for me. I want Him to make me the person He wants me to be so that when I’m “that” person I will be able to answer the above question in full confidence and without any “lies.”

... Possibly another book ...

2011-02-02T21:59:00.002+11:00

As I was chatting with my mum last night God put this desire in my heart along with wisdom to write a book. A book that compiles the stories of my 12 (11 excluding my mum) aunts and uncles and their journey to responding God's call over their lives according to their characters and temperaments.

I'd like to interview and investigate how they responded or not repsond when God calls. I think that this is interesting given that all 12 of them grew up with a father who was a Pastor and a mother who was very family-oriented. I think this will be interesting because they are all unique individuals, with very different and 'colourful' stories of their journey with God.

And I guess at the end of the day with this book I hope to achieve this: God's calling for our lives is "colourful", it comes in different forms and shapes. But the most important thing is to eventually knowing what His call is and doing it until completion. Now these 12 have not all reached completion because they are all still alive but the point is that whatever path we take make sure that the path will lead us into God's destiny. That's what matters. Some of the 12 had it easier than others, their walk was more 'light' but there were others that took the highway to the get there. But as long as they get to do some part of God's destiny then that's better than nothing.

I just hope to stir people to see that doing something, even if it's through the hard way, is better than doing nothing and being comfortable!

Have I told you my mum is my bestfriend?

2011-02-02T21:10:00.002+11:00

Last night I had a 3 hour chat/talk/discussion with my mum. It was awesome! We talked about family, God, destiny, future, desire, life partner. Most of all we talked about God's calling over my life. Like I said in my previous posts about my doubts about my future because of my decision to go into ministry, last night's talk with my mum just settle those nerves down and just trust in God alone.

As we were sharing I remember God speaking specific messages for certain people, why things are the way they are and how they came to be. I really felt that last night God was sharpening my sensitivity to His voice, His Spirit and to his message. I felt that God impressed into my heart that this is what it is going to be like - God speaking message to me and I would pass them onto to the relevant people. And I'm just going to be ready for it. Of course my mind was a little scared. Scared of 'what if I'm wrong and I'm just hearing things?' But I knew I had to press on. And true enough God's impression and message from last night for my aunt was true.

Now I'm not saying that I'm a weirdo or anything but I'm just saying that God is a communicator adn He will from time to time use His children to communicate message to His other children.

Anyways, I discovered from last night that really my mum is my bestfriend. She knows me more than just from a mother perspective and I love and respect her for that.

She is a mighty warrior of God who praises and worships God and always prays. And I just hope that I will be like that too when I too have my own family. (She's currently feeding me melons as I'm typing this post!!) *love*

Chapel Revelation

2011-02-02T17:09:00.001+11:00

During chapel yesterday it was mind blowing! During the praise and worship that was off the roof, God said this to me: 2011 is the year you will be changed. I will change you from the inside out. You will be transformed to the point that you are ‘unrecognizable’. I am changing you to become the person I want you to be and this will ‘shock’ you and even those around you because of this change but know that I am changing you for good. Just like in Luke 5:36-39 about the old and new wine skin that is you this year. So don’t be scared when you won’t recognize yourself after 2011, says God. Just enjoy this journey!

Deathly doubts vs. flourishing dreams

2011-02-02T17:08:00.001+11:00

After Orientation and Enrolments into Hillsong College, after the “pump” factor had subsided and the reality of what it means to be in ministry, the reality of what I’m doing began to sink in, I began to feel scared and started to doubt. Not doubting God’s call or who God is but doubting my future. And beginning to question how my decision to go into ministry will support my future.

But at my Friday night church service my Pastor read out this verse in Hebrew 10:36 which read: You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
That verse resonated within me. It spoke to the heart of my concern, the heart of my doubting. God said specifically that I need to keep at it and keep moving further into His plan and will because when I’m doing His will I am receiving and fully experiencing all His promises to me.

One of these promises is to travel. God knows deep down in my heart that traveling is one of my greatest desires. (And He has specifically spoken to me and through specific messages from Pastors that I will travel.) But (human side of me) I thought that by going into ministry and fulfilling God’s call over my life is in turn stopping me from traveling. And I got scared of that. I got scared. I’m scared of losing my dream as I am pursuing God’s will. But this verse is reminding me and us that when we pursue God’s will we don’t lose our dreams but rather it is God’s call over our lives that will take us into fulfilling all our dreams and beyond. So think about that the next time you doubt God’s will and your dreams.

A thanksgiving heart

2011-01-31T23:03:00.000+11:00

I had been frustrated at work today. Just a couple of issues that really got me upset about my job. Nothing too serious!

I was talking to my mum hoping to get all the 'stress' out of me but instead I was turned from the inside out.

After my talk with my mum, I was looking through photos of people I had met during my time in Jkt last July. They were mostly people from my Aunty's church.

I began to remember the times I had shared with them, the experiences I had, the lessons I had learnt and promised myself to never repeat and complain about when I got back to Sydney.

And funnily enough here I was complaining and being frustrated over my work. Work that I should really be appreciative for because having learnt such invaluable lessons from my new found friends in Jkt, from my Aunty's church, the school-I realised that compared to them, I have so much more to be grateful for. Grateful for my God, for my family, my job, my opportunities.

But most of all it reminded me of my promise to God while I was in Jkt. My promise not to complain about my circumstance but to thankful and move forward.

I've learnt that my time in Jkt was spent wisely to allow me to grow and mature as a daughter of God who knows the heart of her Father and what He wills for her.

So my encouragement today is to be thankful always in every situation. No matter how much you feel you deserve to complain, keep your mouth shut and praise God! He has prepared you to get through the season of struggle and frustration with victory at hand!!! Want to be a winner? Be thankful always!!!

Back to school

2011-01-28T13:43:00.003+11:00

After my first day of Hillsong College (Enrolments&Orientation) I've learnt 3 things:
1. I have "gold" in me which is Godly instilled. And my time at Hillsong College will help me unravel through the 'dirt' to find my Godly 'gold' to glorify His Kingdom.
2. I am being moulded from a student and into a leader.
3. I will be propelled into my destiny. I just have to be opened to God and opened to where God wants to take me.

I'm excited to begin this journey and to just fully throw myself at what God has planned for my life. But of course as humans do I question sometimes.

Just this morning I woke up with a sudden feeling of anxiousness. I began to question what I will gain from doing this Pastoral course in terms of jobs and finance. Thoughts such as: what sort of work will you do after undertaking this course? Where will it lead you? What is your future like? Will you become a Pastor after that? Will you work for the church? Will the church want you to work with them?

All these questions bombarded my mind. And honestly I felt afraid. Because I've had past experiences of graduating and not pursuing a career in my studied field. What if this time it is the same?

As these thoughts raced through my mind, my heart knew otherwise. My heart and Spirit knew the greater call that God has instilled in me and that God was enought to see me through to the end of the fulfillment of that call. And in the midst of this God just reminded me: have I not provided for you in the past? Have I ever let you down? Have my promises ever failed you before? Trust in me and trust in my provision for you. You may not understand the complete picture of your future right now but I have spoken to you directly that I have a purpose for you. A purpose that is great, a purpose that will see you through the fulfillment of My call in your life.

With that I settled in my mind that I am not going to live by the lies of the devil. I am going to believe in my God and in His promises to me. It will be a tough and challenging road ahead but that too means it'll be an exciting road ahead because I have no other expectation other than to expect my hope and trust in the Lord will bring provision and the fulfillment of His promises to me.

So I encourage you today in the midst of your insecurity, doubt and questioning to fully rely on Him because He has never failed us. Trust in His unfailing record/reputation of fulfilled promises!

Is beginning to understand...

2011-01-24T11:31:00.002+11:00

... why she writes, writes and writes during her Pastor's sermons.

Last week my ministry leader asked me to help her compile the Kidz Church curriculum. The assigned lesson theme is Eagle as this is what our Senior Pastor is teaching in our regular church service. I was happy to help in any way I could. But in saying so I had my reservations about my ability to compile a curriculum. I don't have any knowledge or understanding as to how to construct a curriculum. And I did make this known to my leader but she somehow trusted me with this. She said that all I had to do was read through our Pastor's teaching materials and summarise what we can teach to the children about Eagles.

Of course it sounds simple but again I let my mind get in the way and started to doubt myself. I have an obvious problem when it comes to doing things I THINK I can't do but other people trust that I can!

So anyways, I was reading through my Pastor's notes and the Holy Spirit just put this in my heart: I have prepared you for this Steph. All this time you sit and take notes during your Pastor's weekly sermons. This is it. You sit, consume, and write for the kids. You are an 'instrument' in 'digesting' the Word and relaying it out for the kids.

When the Holy Spirit told me this I began to understand why I am so eager to write when my Pastor preaches. And when I write I seem to be "out of control" in the sense I know that I cannot simply write what I have written if it had not been through the leading of the Holy Spirit.

And the Holy Spirit just reminded me of Pastor Joel Osteen's testimony of how he used to just edit video recordings of his father's Sunday preachings week on and week out, consuming his father's preaching not ever realising or even consider that one day he could be a preacher himself. Pastor Joel Osteen shared about how God will prepare His children for the greater call through anything and everything.

And so with that I now know why I do what I do and why I do it! I'm very excited!!!

It has been a month!

2011-01-17T19:07:00.002+11:00

It has been a month since I last posted and several things have happened since. Just an update:
1. I applied and got into Hillsong Leadership College, Pastoral Leadership. I'll be enroling and going to Orientation next week! It's very exciting! I'm hoping to learn more about the ministry, about God and myself and having fun and making new networks, friends.
2. I've been very pre-occupied with work. I've been lots and lots of hours just to save up for when I start College and may not have work. So because of work I've been very tired. I'm feeling like I need a change so College is starting at a right time for me.
3. I haven't been working on my children's book as much as I've hoped. I'm wanting to get back at it this week as work is slowing down.
4. I've been working alot because I want to save up for a couple of trips this year: my cousin's wedding in Bali at the end of the year and also a surprise for my mum who is turning 50! My dad and I have been thinking of taking her interstate but this depends on what my college timetable.
5. As always I started the new year at church, in my Father's house and in prayer. This is my prayer for 2011:
I bartered with God. I bartered my old self for the person God wants me to be and who He designed me to be. I lay myself down at His feet. I exchange all my desires for His desires. I exchange all my dreams for His dreams. I exchange my goals for His goals. I exchange my will for His will. I exchange my heart for His heart. My only want for 2011 is His will and His heart. May this new year produce quality eagles that soar above and beyond in pursuit of God's destiny and Revayah!! I am 'baby eagles in waiting!' As 2011's theme at church is "Soaring with Wings like an Eagle" I took this on board personally where my desire is to become an eagle that soar above and beyond this year.
6. I'm currently fasting with my local church until the 30th January. We're fasting for a spiritual breakthrough for 2011. And like previous years when I'm fasting God impresses more of His Spirit and vision in my heart. So this year His vision was:
On 12th January 2011, my 3rd day of fasting and I was on my way to work in Paddington and on the bus God impressed in me and gave me this 'vision' of me walking towards something like a light, I don't know what it is exactly but it's like God is telling me in 2011 I will walk with a "blindfold" which the Holy Spirit is tying which means for total faith and obedience in God because I cannot see. And the Holy Spirit is on my right, left, front and behind me as I walk ahead into 'something of 2011'. And it's not darkness ahead of me but light, bright but nothing else. And God impressed in me that God's voice will lead my every step and that He is in front, He is already at the 'destination point' waiting for me to get there. I must learn to walk in faith, obedience and surrenderance. I may not know everything of God's plan but I know He is there waiting for me and that is enough for me to walk ahead. I'm not walking into 'death' but into 'life' in 2011.
7. On the 14th January 2011, we had a cousins KM (cell group) at Vilia's house. During the meeting I felt that God was saying this is the generation, the 3rd generation that will fulfill His big destiny and call. And it is because of the prayers of our previous generations: our grandfather (Ngong Djojo), grandmother (Emak Martha), mum and dad who have prayed, and taught us with the fear of the Lord. We are now the generation who will do great things according to His will and reap the great rewards according to their prayers and what we've done. I felt the Spirit say: our grandparents, parents have sown te seeds but now it is our generation who will reap it's produce! Amen!! All glory to God!!

So far that has been my start to 2011!! I'm waiting in anticipation for greater thiings to happen to bring glory to my God! Happy New Year guys! =)

Listen to that initial voice.

2010-12-14T10:50:00.002+11:00

So I've finally spoken to my Senior Pastors about going to Bible College last weekend. I wasn't nervous or anxious about it but just calm (surprisingly).

I tried to get across to them everything and every event that had led up to my conviction and hence decision to go to Bible College. And coming to them was my quest to seek advice and guidance from my spiritual parents.

And somehow I guess I knew that their advice was that of my parents, which was great for me as it then showed that I need to learn more about doing as my parents say, both literally and spiritually.

Both my Pastors advised me to take the studies part time while working in my studied field - Communications. I initially received the same "instruction" (do part time and work in my field) when I first received the conviction to go to Bible College. My parents even suggested to do part time as well. But after conversing with some family members this had changed my mind.

However after speaking to my Pastors I knew that part time was what I had to do. The initial voice, my parents and now my Pastors had advised me to do so.

And their point for me to do part time was that this time of part time will allow me to grow and mature more as a young Christian. This "stretching" period will determine and cement the call of God over my life. They said that God's call over me will not go anywhere and it will not "hurt" if I do it part time because surely God's intention for me to study Communications was not for a waste.

They continued on to say that even if God didn't want you to be in main stream media and communications then this "stretching" period of part time study will show that and furthermore it will show that my passion and call for ministry will outrun my desire for main stream work. But if I didn't try and do both then I will never know.

And I knew that everything they said was true and to a great extent it resonated in my heart.

So I left my time with my Pastors with a clear mind, a determined heart and spirit. And I know that it may not be ideal to look for part time work right now but I truly and honestly believe that as God has placed my feet on this path I know and truly believe that He too will lead the rest of the way.

I live now only in complete and utter surrenderance! Beacuse I want my live to be testimony of how great my God is and how He has brought me from glory to glory ONLY for His Name and Kingsdom's sake!

So if you're at a cross roads now the only advice I can share with you from my own recent lesson is that listen to that initial voice. Pray about it and if the right path is for you then surely God will show that to you through confirmations from family, friends and leaders.

So open up your ears, He's speaking to you right now!

My 'food' is to do the will of God.

2010-11-22T17:11:00.002+11:00

Last Friday my Pastor had shared a very insightful message from John 4:32-38. This message had spoken directly into current situation. It brought strength and courage! It has made me more confident in my pursuit of God's will.

These are just some notes/statements that were my highlights:-
-Our 'food' is to do the will of God. To be faithful to it. In God there is something you cannot find on earth.

-May my appetite be to do the will of God. May His calling quench my thirst and hunger.

-Nothing can beat the satisfaction of doing His will and pursuing it.

-If we are always in need of things and are unsatisfied then we are not pursuing His will for us.

-Doing the will of God compares to nothings else but total satisfaction.

John 4:35-> Holy Spirit interpreted 'field' for Steph as children, the next generation. They are ready to be shaped and moulded.

John 4:37-> He doesn't want us to look at the situation, the finance, the timing etc. But God urges us to look at the harvest that is ready for reaping.

-Make God's will our 'food'. -> isn't this the life to live? To have His will as our diet?

John 4:38-> Jesus has sown the initial seed in us through the cross. Now it is our turn to reap the sown and let it be a blessing to others=sharing the blessings=sharing Christ.

-If you haven't been receiving the reap from God then perhaps you are not doing the will of God!

Powerful message!!

My promise to you for your obedience.

2010-11-17T11:41:00.002+11:00

As I've talked to my dad about going to leadership college, he has some concerns. He's concerned that instead of taking a step forward in my life and career I'm rather taking a step backward (according to him). He just doesn't want to see me regret and live a life always in "need". And I totallty understand where he is coming from. I mean I am the his eldest daughter, he has expectations of me to do well and succeed. And I have no problems with that expectation. I want to make my father happy and proud of me but when but when it comes to something like pursuing God's call over my life I won't compromise. And I'm thankful that my father understands this.

But of course knowing the 'thinker' and cautious person that I am, I think about it. I thought deeply about what my dad sais. What if I am taking a step backward? Why am I becoming even more dependent upon my parents when I should be making something of myself? Should I not be building a career and thriving success now? Lord what are you doing to me? Why is it that this decision that I'm taking making me look like I'm taking a step backward (to the "naked eye")? Should I not be moving forward now? These were thoughts that raced around my mind as I deeply thought about the conversation I had with my dad.

It made me restless. But I knew deep down in my heart that this was the right decision. And to show it God spoke to me through today's devotional that read:
My Princess Warrior, I have so many blessings I want to pour out on you. However, you hold the kids that unlock the amazing plans I have for your life. It is your obedience to me that will open the windows of heaven for you to receieve. If you trust Me, I will bless you with epace. If you share with others what I have given you, I will give you even more. If you choose My will over your rights, I will give you great favor wherever you go. If you will pray. I will give you power to change the world around you, My beloved Warrior. All that I ask is that you love and obey My commands, and you and your family will be forever blessed because of your obedience to Me!

This message spoke directly to my heart! I put a rest to all my conerns and restlessness. I know that God is saying to me that as I obey Him and obey His commands that God Himself will bless me and my family because of my obedience to Him.

And so I know that it may not make total sense to many people around me as to why I have chosen to make this decision but I know and believe that as I believe to obey His commands, He will be the One who blesses me and my family. And in that I trust and believe in my God!

Awesome!

Going back to school?

2010-11-15T13:55:00.000+11:00

Sunday 14th Nov 2010

I spoke to my dad about going to school again. He's first reaction was 'good.' And I knew he would say that because he's been wanting me to go do Masters etc. But when I told him about Bible college, he just went silent. I asked him what he thought he said exactly what he told me when I had finished high school, which was 'I only want you to do what you feel is right. If you say that God is asking you to do it then I can't stop you. But I can only guide you and suggest to you that you should do something that will set you up financially. So you won't live in need. I don't want you to ever live in need.' And after recornfirming with him about my plans to study again my dad didn't 'stop' me but rather warn me to be sure that this is what I should do. He is just worried about my future, which I totally understand. He's main concern is my finance. But as I sat there listening to him, I also knew that I needed to listen to my Father in heaven. And my Father in Heaven just reassured me that when I obey Him He will surely take care of every detail in my life including my finance. And in this present time I'm holding onto that word. I'm not discounting what my dad is saying but I know my God and I know that He will take care of me!

And so this conversation just made me realise two things:
1. That my parents will always love and support my every decision, especially when it is Godly annointed
2. To walk in obedience with Christ means knowing full well what He had planned for us. If we know full well which way He wants us to walk into then every door (parental approval) shall open for you. And in this walk in full confidence that God is with you along the way.

And so I sit here in full assurance that my parents support me and I'm thankful only to God Himself! For He has planted His desire in my heart and in my parents' hearts. Now it's just time to speak to my leaders.

Testing my commitment!

2010-11-08T17:00:00.000+11:00

So in my last post I was talking about renewing my commitment and walking into God’s plans. Well what a twist of events it has been for me in the past week after writing that post!

So basically I had an interview for a job in my field of interest – media and television. But after coming home from that interview I felt unrest. I knew that I needed to pray about it more. I was twisting and turning regarding this because from one side the job appealed very much to my media interests, and even the (cautious in saying this) ‘old Steph.’ Because I would get to travel, experience new things and work within what I had studied etc. But still that unrest.

When I had gone home I spoke to my sister who comforted me. This was also when the Holy Spirit spoke to me to make me understand the situation.

Basically I troubled about how I was feeling. I was concerned that I wasn’t ‘over the moon happy’ about the job even though I was almost sure they would give me the job. And I knew that when I was having trouble that I needed to sort this out with Him.

So as I sat there talking with my sister, I spoke to God and asked Him. Why do I feel unrest? Is it wrong to take this job? Will this job not take me to fulfilling Your destiny for me? And basically the Holy Spirit answered with: taking the job is not a bad thing. Taking the job will open doors for your career and for you and eventually perhaps lead you into fulfilling God’s plan. But if you don’t take the job you can focus on your recent commitment to God about writing a book, about pursuing Him and eventually fulfilling Hid plan in His way and not your’s.

That was my option and I knew deep down in my heart that I couldn’t live with myself if I had gone about pursuing God’s destiny in my own way. So I knew that I had to turn down the job.

And this revelation tied in very well with all my devotional readings that week that were about (essentially) putting my life into Christ’s hands and trusting Him by picking up ‘the cross.’

This was further encouraged to me through my daily text message devotional from my aunt, which was talking about how to be faithful to God we have to be ready to let certain things go for Him, for He said in one of Jesus’ parables: “come with me” in Luke 9: 57-61. What I had got from this verse was that I wasn’t to be two-minded about my future. I had to decide whether to “let it all go” and take up my ‘cross’ or walk my own path and do it myself.

What also “cemented” my path to choose God’s way and plan over my own and this job was winning the “Kindest Teachers Award” that was nominated by the children! How about that! The children voted me! And not to brag about it but it felt good to know that the kids appreciated and could see my passion to teach and love them! This just topped off everything else in terms of knowing what I needed to do in terms of choosing pursing God’s plan for me (essentially teaching) and my own way (media work).

But of course knowing me, I had to continue “questioning” and asking God for more “signs” that would show specifically what I needed to do if I did not take this job (which they had not officially offered just yet). So Monday last week as I was pondering this the Holy Spirit softly spoke two words: Bible School. And this just brought shivers down my spine but also gave me like a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach, which I’ve only ever felt a few times where God had spoken to me specifically. So this time I knew too that God was leading me.

I decided to Google ‘Bible Schools in Sydney’ and of course the first link I went to was Hillsong Leadership College. I was basically led by the Holy Spirit to read and read and read. As the Holy Spirit led me I read up on the Pastorial stream and specifically Children’s Ministry.

I knew something was brewing and I knew this was the path God wants me to take as the Holy Spirit reminded me of all the previous signs God had given me about going to Bible such as the year 10 career survey that concluded my best occupation was Religious Minister, also God had spoken to me in my last high school year to go and pursue Him and His ministry but I had hesitated and wanted to wait and compromised with Him. I asked Him if I could get a degree first for myself-have something attached to my name that I had achieved myself before letting it all go. And now it’s like God is saying: ok Steph you got the degree now, so where else are you going?

This all God telling me and reminding me that I can’t run or hide from the promises He has for me and the promises I have made to Him. God will seek and continue to pursue me as long as I continue to pursue Him!

Come Tuesday, I received the job offer but with a heavy heart I respectfully turned it down immediately. I knew that I couldn’t mess around with God’s call and timing. And as I had committed myself to Him I was going to stick to it just as Christ did!

Come Wednesday (by now you can notice how I’m very cautious and always want signs to help me decide) I was working when a customer said this: “you have a great voice! You should be in public speaking somewhere on a stand/podium and giving speeches. You shouldn’t be in here!” And I was like “whattt…???” (only in my mind of course) Like this lady did not know who I was or where I’m at in my life but it was like as if she was sent to my shop to speak those words of encouragement that hey God does have a great plan for your life Steph and it involves speaking to people in public!

And to top it all off one of my cousins had given a comment on my social networking site that read: you could be like our uncle (the Pastor). And that further encouraged me as I knew that I had the support and the signs enough for me to do it!

But of course I need to speak to my parents and leaders. I just pray that may God’s will be done in my life because I’m over walking alone and doing things my way. I want to do it God’s way so I can get God’s results!

He loves to put us to the test… so that our faith and hope is always increasing...

2010-10-21T22:57:00.002+11:00

Late last week I had an urge to make a new commitment to God. Given my present situation I felt I had to renew my commitment. So the Holy Spirit guided me to prayer this prayer: Lord, guide and lead me into your path and your direction. Draw me to walk into opportunities and situations where I can fulfill your call and destiny over my life. I don’t want to walk and do my own thing and walk in my own strength for I know that that will only lead to failure. So Lord I pray that you bring me into opportunities that allow me to fulfill your purpose.

And then the Holy Spirit reminded me to also pray for my future partner. That this is not the time for me to involved in any relationship other than a relationship with God and God only.

And I made these commitment prayers will a clean heart and spirit, being fully aware that all I wanted to do was just be alone with God and do His will.

And of course whatever God says He proves right away. Just in this week God has led me into His path where I can walk in His purpose. His purpose in terms of media and television.

And what comforts me even more is that just a few days after I made my commitment, my daily devotional reading was this:-

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

And the message was:-
Hopelessness is just an illusion, My beloved Warrior. I am your hope, and your future is in My hands. Just as I parted the Red Sea of hopelessness for Moses and My chosen people, I will part your sea and you will walk in the promises I have for your life. Don’t allow the illusion of the enemy to become reality. Fires will never burn your out; raging waters will not drown your dreams. I am bigger than any challenge you are facing. Now, My Princess Warrior, fight the temptation to give up, and allow Me to walk you into a life filled with indescribable hope for your future!The statements that I highlighted in bold were just statements that really got my attention and spoke a lot to my heart. I truly believe that I am beginning to walk in the promises that God has for my life and I’m not going to let the enemy deter me from what God has promised me!

So my encouragement is, may you too find hope and faith in God alone who will walk with you as you fulfill His promises! Let’s not just walk but run this race!

Went on my first "date" with Him!

2010-10-16T14:14:00.007+11:00

From my previous post you can read how I've had an interest in writing a children's book. And after work last Thursday I didn't want to go straight home. The weather was beautiful. Sunny but not too hot so I decided to ride the bus all the way to Maroubra Beach. I love this beach because it's quiet, not many people come to it so you definitely get to feel like you're alone there.

So I sat myself down in a nice little cafe right by the beach. It's called Marini's Cafe. Nice little place especially when I had got there it was practically empty so it was good to have quiet.

It was here while drinking my latte and muching on some hot chips did I start to converse with God and brainstorm as to what this book should be about. I had no idea or vision for this book. No picture at all. But that's the beauty of walking and pursuing God's will and destiny. When He says go! You just go even though you don't have any clue as to where or when to go! But because we don't have any idea, any expectation or restrictions that is when we are most surprised by the beauty of God's plan! We are opened to surprises and sponaneity, which makes our journey with Him much more enjoyable, rich and vibrant!

So this time I wasn't holding back. I was just going to let Him take me on this ride to somewhere I have no idea but let myself be drawn and surprised by His greatness!

And the outcome of my ride with Him was this:
- though my "date" Him with regarding this book was pretty short. Less than 1 hour but it's a great start! I will definitely do it again.
- what makes the difference between one book over the other is one's experience with the content. If you can't 'feel' the material then it most likely will not touch anyone else.
- being true to yourself and the Creator will bring true justice to your writing and other's reading of it. I can't be anybody else but me. And so I have to be true in what I feel is needed to be written so everyone who reads it will experience the full expectation of it. (I know this may not make sense but I hope one day when I reflect upon it, it will.)
- I am a blank paper, the Holy Spirit is the pen and You Lord is the writer. Let Your ink Lord fill the blank pages of my life and may it bring hope, peace, joy and love to those who read it.

What is the target market:
6-10 years old boys and girls.

Possible (?) Title: My God is My Everything.

About: life experience, making children's faith journey real. Describe who, what God sounds, looks, feels like.

Make it personal: our God is peace in every storm, comforts in time of need, He is like a tissue the wipes our every tears, He is my warm jumper in my cold nights, He is my safety net when I feel like I'm falling, etc.

Appeal to senses, daily life, things children cannot live without.

Visual: The visuals are photos of children exemplifying the statement.

Layout: 1 statement per page. 'Our God is...'-> layout like Judah Smith's book. Simple, colourful, interactive, appealing to childrens' eyes. I'd like to use real situations and mordern, edgy photography for this.

Sign off each statement with: From your Father, your God, your protector, your... (whatever that suits the statement) This is to create a personal relationship between the child and his/her God.

What I hope to achieve from this book:
- to invite every child who reads it on a personal journey of their own as they learn to discover who God is and what He is capable of doing in their lives
- God is as real as they allow their faiths to take them
- He is their everything
- there is no force from my part for them to see and feel and experience God the way I do but rather to encourage them to see that there is no limit to God. This is just an inivitation to see that God is... But when they start to feel and hear God themselves they will know who God is to them. This is like "baby steps" to know your God.

But for further research I need to talk to kids and see what appeals to them:
- what do you like to read?
- what would you like to know about God/Jesus?
- what can you not live without?

This is very raw material. Only some notes and a fair idea of what I want in this book. The road ahead is still quite long but at least now I have something in my hands that God can use to make something awesome because truly at the end of the day it's all about Him and hence all glory be for my God, my life, my Jesus.

^Thursday 14th October, 2010. Maroubra Beach, Marini Cafe. The start of something big! First day of inspirations for children's book. Got a great feeling about this. Thank You Lord. All glory and honour to You, my inspiration.^

Sometimes it's just not about playing it safe!

2010-10-13T11:26:00.000+11:00

I woke up this morning with a sudden urge to write children's books.

I know God wants to use me in this area and has prophesied it but I haven't taken any steps in fulfilling it or at least opening myself to situations that will help me pursue this.

I reflected upon this as I was on my way to work. And and as I do I was reading my daily message book. This morning it was about courage. The words I was reading were like fire blazing in my heart. It talked about courage to change, how He had paid the price on the cross for me to have a better life but I am the one who has to make the choice to become all that He has called me to be. It says "nothing will change without your effort and obedience to My Word." And this statement just shook everything within me. As I read it I knew the Holy Spirit was questioning and reminding me: God's Word over your life will not be fulfilled if you do not open yourself to situations or conditions that will allow God's miracle to work in you. You have been so busy trying to 'play it safe' by working 5 days a week, saving money for who knows what and thinking that you got all the bases covered to lead a 'safe life.' But Steph is this really the life God has intended for you? To lead just a 'safe life'? You have to give God something so He can give you everything!

So with this in mind I chose to let go of one of my jobs that will give me two free days in the week to write this children's book.

And I guess what contributed to my 'reignited' fire to write children's books is when my older cousin who is like a brother to me shared his wonder news to me. His news basically confirmed into reality everything that had been prophesised ino His life during our Indonesia trip in July. He is begining to live the reality of it and that caused me to not only be happy but also make me see where I am at with God's Word over my life hence the story above.

And please don't get the wrong impression when I talk about these prophesies. I do not take them for granted but rather I believe and know that they are confirming what I already know to be true for my life.

And as a side note: I have no idea or inspiration as to what the book should look like or what will be in the content. But I am sure that I am a paper and pen and God is my writer!

Jump every mountain.

2010-10-11T01:01:00.004+11:00

I was at Maroubra Beach having a quiet one alone reading a book. The sun was gorgeous as it just heated my back.

As I was reading a boy ran past me and asked his mum if he could jump off these steps. And mind you these steps were big. And surprisingly the mother encouraged him to jump. All I kept on doing was watch him and think 'what if he hurts himself?' But the mother was totally calm and kept on giving Him positive remarks as he jumped the steps.

I reflected for a moment and came to the realisation that we, being believers, should be like the boy. Who has no worries about hurting Himself in doing what He wanted (within reason) and that the mother was God who knew that we could do it.

Our walk is often like this. God has given a task for us to do but we just say 'no God it's too hard, I'm going to hurt myself, this may cost me alot of money etc' But really in hindsight is it not God who knows us more and knows our capabilities so we can achieve the best?

Just the boy asking his mum 'do you think I can do it?' The mother simply and confidently replies with 'I know you can do it!'

So whatever mountain or obstacle you're facing today be sure to know and be confident in that God knows you can conquer it and be the victor and not the victim!

God’s Promise in Action.

2010-10-08T16:29:00.000+11:00

I was working yesterday in the City. It started off to be a normal day. I got ready, left for work, read my daily message, got to work etc. I did the exact same thing I always do everyday but yesterday there was a difference.

During my shift, to be precise it was during lunch time. I was working with my cousin in the store but around 1.15pm I had left to get some lunch. She was alone in the store. When I had come back I noticed 2 young boys in our shop. Mind you the shop I work at is a high end female retail store and these two boys were not our typical customers. So once I had laid eyes on them I was cautious as my heart said “watch these boys.”

So dressed in sneakers, shorts and caps I was weary for them. I quickly put my wallet and phone in my bag, which is in the backroom and came out into the shop. I heard one of the boys talking to my cousin about purchasing a gift for his mother with $50. And I saw the $50 in his hand. And of course my cousin attended to him, while I was standing behind the desk where the cupboard door to the till had been left opened and my cousin’s phone and handbag with wallet was in hand reach of the boys.

I knew what they were up to. They were interested in stealing. But for some reason I had peace in my heart and knew confidently that we were going to be ok.

As the boy with the boy with the $50 tried to distract my cousin, the other boy was standing very close to the cash register and poking his head around to look for something.

I glued my eyes to him. In the end after several clever attempts by the boys to distract us by asking us so many questions and asking us to get things they knew they couldn’t get anything so they left.

After that thank God nothing had been taken! But 10 minutes later we hear a lady scream out “get him, get him!” And I knew it was those two boys.

It turns out the two boys went upstairs to the newsagency and went into the backroom and stole the staffs’ wallet, phones, iPad, and some cash!

It was then I realised not just how lucky my cousin and I were but also how blessed we were to have God protect us and our belongings!

And to top it off I that morning’s daily reading reminded me to not have fear! That God did not design me to live in fear of anything or anyone but Him. And sure enough that morning I had prayed for God to let fear consume and dictate my life as that is not His wishes for me.

So yesterday’s events just served to remind me a few things:
- how important it is to pray and read and meditate His words
- believe that God will protect His children
- the enemy will not get the better of us if we completely trust Him

Behind every cheeky smile there is...

2010-09-27T15:14:00.002+10:00

I was teaching the 5-7 year olds yesterday about being fishers of men and referring to Mark 1:16-20. It was a simple and easy to understand message and I wanted to put it into context by asking and encouraging a discussion with the children about how they would approach being fishers of men and what would they do if the person they were trying to share the gospel with rejected or mocked them?

And surprisingly these two responses amazed me (in a good way):
- [one kid answered me this when asked what if he/she you were sharing rejected you?] "why wouldn't people just believe in God since who would have created us if it weren't for God?" This simple answer answered by a child who has the child-like faith easily and confidently answered that. I leanrt from his repsonse that we need to apply that "child-like" faith concept in our daily walk in Christ. We as adults often get bogged down with the technicalities or politics of religion and faith that often causes us to lose sight of what it really means to believe in God and have faith. So his reponse reignited my child-like faith.

- [one kid answered me this to the same question] "punch them. haha.." But before I could correct hime another kid repsonded by saying this "you don't punch them because that is not what Jesus would do. If we did that then we're not being like Jesus." And at that moment I just melted at the wisdom this kid had. At that moment I knew that even though at times I may question whether or not the children listen and understand what we teach them but after that day and that response I knew that little by little the children understand with the help of the Holy Spirit. From then on I also realised how much I love teachinig kids especially when they leanr and can answer back with repsonses like that. But even if they don't respond like that and give silly answers I am happy that they are answering me so then I know where they are at and how I can correct them if it is wrong.

It is days like this where I get real excited about my ministry not because of anything but because of the changes I can see in the children and how they are learning.

Words that pierce through the heart...

2010-09-27T14:58:00.002+10:00

I was at the morning church service yesterday and was very much blessed by the preaching. It was simple and easy to understand. A few statements (as you all know I like to collect statements) that caught my attention and really resonated with my spirit were:
- God give free will but He determines the consequences.
- the more we are alike to Christ, the more we will receieve Christ-like results.
- your position in Christ is based on your faith.
- the fulfillment of God's detiny for us is not up to us but up to Him!
- Goals/dreams/visions are fulfilled through the test of time. But surely God's favor is for us until it is complete. This reminded me of my 2 year separation period from my parents and sister in year 2000-2002. In the end we were reunited as God did not created or want us to be separated. But it was a test. A test of time until His plan for us was fulfilled.

Could it be?

2010-09-26T20:01:00.002+10:00

I woke up this morning with the strangest feeling. You know the feeling of when you wake up from a dream and you feel very unsettled. Unsettled in the sense that you still feel like you are in the dream but not. That was my feeling this morning.

And my dream wasn't a pleasant one.

Remember my story about a prophesy about Australia experiencing a disaster? Well my dream was somewhat about that.

What I remember from the dream was I was running with my mum and dad. I didn't know exactly where we were. All I could see around me was buildings crumbling and on fire. There was definite devasatation around. And people who survived whatever this disaster was was either burnt or crying for help. But I could see myself, mother, father as fine. But I remember we were trying to carry who ever we could see that needed help. We carried people who were suffering from smoke inhalation, burns etc. But I didn't know where we were going. I just followed my dad.

After walking what felt like forever we reached our destination. It was a building that had not yet been shattered. We went in a room and there we found my whole family. My aunts and uncles and cousins. We were all gathered there like as if we were prepared to do something.

And of course we were. We were ready to pray and to shout to Heaven's doors. So we all gathered around in a circle and just started praying and worshipping Him as we usually do in family prayer meetings. And then of course my aunty and mother was filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke in tongue. Then my aunty (who has a gift of visions) spoke. But I couldn't hear it or understand it. She then stopped and after that all I could remember was the rest of the family asking her what God said to her in regards to this devastation. And before she could answer I woke up from the dream.

Feeling sick to my stomach this 'thing' whatever it is just making me realise how much I have to really take serious my relationship with God! When He speaks He means it. When He instructs He means it. So this was a definite wake up call that these times are no easy times. It's time for us to be serious. Be serious for Him and what He has called us to do.

So I'm not taking this dream lightly. I'm going to want to search Him even more! Give me more Lord!

Victory in discomfort

2010-09-24T11:42:00.000+10:00

I was reading today’s devotional titled “The Perfect Ending.” It talked about the truth and victory in Jesus’ suffering, death and ultimately, in his resurrection. It said that Jesus’ suffering was his path to glory.

This opened up a whole new understanding for me about Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. Though his disciples and followers wanted him to stay on earth and continue to share the gospel and good news and evidently not have to die. But because Jesus knew who he was in God, he knew what his purpose was, he knew what God has called him to do and hence he chose to do the will of his Father rather than the desires of what others (his disciples). Even though his disciples mean very well for Jesus to stay on earth and preach the good news and heal the sick etc. But Jesus knew what he had to do and even if that translates to discomfort, pain, suffering, loss, “torture” Jesus decided to do it despite the situation and despite what people said. He knew that the will of his Father as more important than anything else. From here I’ve learnt the importance of Jesus’ obedience. That is something I need to learn and acquire in me in order for me to do the will of God.

This is especially important to me know as I am in a transition period from graduation uni and working casually in retail and in search of full time work. And the search for full time work in the field that God wants me to be in is the difficult part. As I have many interests (children, ministry, media, communication, production) and as my degree allows me a range of career pathways it serves me some difficulty in pin pointing one area of employment. And on top of that I also have my father’s requests for me to continue study (master’s degree).

But through today’s devotional I have come to the understanding that despite my interests and what people might want me to do I must have the courage and confidence to do what God wants me to do just as Jesus did. And in order to find that out I must know who I am in Christ, who Christ is in me and where God wants to take me. And in all three things I must be confident that whatever I go through in life, what I face, what job applications I put in etc. that God is with me! He will never forsake me.

Words of encouragement

2010-09-13T20:54:00.003+10:00

I've been reading and have finished these 2 books that have really blessed me! I've taken some of the statements that have resonated in my spirit and will share it with you here.

The first book I read was 'The Deborah Company' by Jane Hamon. It is about a strong, mighty company of God fearing women who are able to do God's annointed will.
- Courage arises out of the security of knowing who God is and who we are in relation to Him. We can take courage in the Lord, not because of who we are or what we have, but because of His indwelling presence with us through the Holy Spirit. By ourselves we are weak and can do nothing. But because He dwells in us, we have His power, wisdom and courage... Courage arises from confidence in the vision the Lord has given to us; it comes from the quiet place of contemplation before the Lord where He visits us and speaks to us. Courage comes out of glorifying in our own weaknesses and resting in His strength. (pg. 237)

- Let us allow God's heart to echo in our generation through the reverberations of our lives. (pg. 256)

- Compassion is an outworking of the passion for God that is deep within. If we have true passion for God, then we should also have compassion; and if we have compassion, we will act, because that is what compassion does. Compassion demands action! (pg. 290)

The second book is 'Dating Delilah' by Judah Smith. This book is about purity in the youth generation. It talks about what is purity.
- Your decisions have widespread influence and your compromise is hurting the future of your nation! You may think you are just flirting; just having fun checking something out late at night, having no idea that, by your actions or inaction, you have abdicated your God-given authority. Generational patterns are established when you make Godly decisions for your life. (pg. 27)

- Now I want to clarify for you what God's definition of purity is. What is purity? Purity is the state of being without mixture. Without mixture! God's original intention was for man to be without mixture. (pg. 43)

- God allowed Abraham to undergo a difficult process that was only complete when God's image was clearly reflected in him. When that process was finished, God blessed Abraham more than any other human being that ever lived because He was pleased with what He saw in him - He saw Himself. (pg. 56) => God will continue to process us until we reflect Him in us!

- In compromising your lifestyle, you forfeit your capacity to accurately reflect God's image and endanger an entire generation's understanding of Jesus. (pg. 57)

- If you are not aggressive in your pursuit of God and purity, you are at the disposal of sin. (pg. 84)

- Because sin is aggressive, your purity must be progressive. (pg. 86)

- The greatest deterrent to sin is the pursuit of vision. You need a vision for your life that propels you beyond momentary pleasures; a purpose that causes you to see past temptation to its consequences and compels you to choose righteousness because of its reward. Pursue God. Pursue His purpose. Pursue His plan for your life. (pg. 93)

- The closer you get to fulfilling your dream, the harder Satan will try to entice you to sin. This is because the fulfillment of your destiny will lead to the enemy's demise. (pg. 114)

- Falling prey to temptation for momentary pleasure is not worth forfeiting your destiny. (pg. 123)

Update, update, update...!!!

2010-09-12T18:49:00.007+10:00

Geez, so it has been a while since I last posted! The last time I posted was when I was just about to head off to Indonesia for 5 weeks.

So life has changed since then. Dreams have been expanded. The horizon seems to be more brighter. Lives have touched. Children have education. Stories have been shared. But most of all His name and Kingdom has been and will continue to be glorified!

I'll try to keep a journal for this entry. This journal will be quite long (see I've warned you! Hehehe... But please do not be afraid for great blessing is ahead! Hehehe) so I'll categorise it by date of event to keep it simple.

I do hope that you will be patient in reading this and be blessed along the way. Bear in mind that all glory to God! =)

The night before I was about to leave for Indonesia I prayed in faith and hope and trust that God is with me on this journey. A journey that will cut my flesh but bring life to His Word. It is not about me but about Him. Even if it hurts me I say do it Lord! Only for Your glory!

[As we were on the plane we saw a rainbow in the sky, which I knew and only confirmed that God's promises is going to be fulfilled!]

*Thursday 08/07/10:
Just arrived in Bali, Indonesia. First lesson was: my home is where my God is. I have to get over my 'discomfort' and do His will. My discomfort include: pollution, extreme heat, traffic jams, mosquitoes, Indonesian food and loss of weight. Every time I go to Indonesia I will lose about 4-5kgs. Don't ask me why, I don't know.

I've had to learn that it is not my belongings, my possession or even my "home" (in Syd) is "home" or that these things bring me "comfort" and "security". But it is where ever God is and where ever He wants me to be is where my home is. So Steph, get over your discomfort and make home where ever God wants it to be!

*Sunday 11/07/10
As I'm going about my thing with family and going out the Holy Spirit just suddenly instills these statements in my heart:
-As the fight gets harder/tougher He is strengthening me.

-When the odds are stacked against you He elevate your walk.

-When your walk seems narrow He leads you to the wider path.

-Where there is trouble and discomfort He is there with aid in His right hand.

It was like as if the Holy Spirit was strengthening and also warning me at the same time that my days ahead will be tough but God's provision will never cease in my life.

I also learnt a new meaning to 'Family'. We share our sorrows and blessings together. We all do everything together. If one is in then all is in. If one is out then all is out. At this time one of my dearest uncles is going through a difficult time in his life. God was processing him but it impacted the whole family. When ever he was down the whole family could feel his sorrows. And this is what I learnt: that in the good and the bad family go through it together.

Djojosaputro Family at The Rock Bar, Ayana Hotel.

Another lesson was I know that because I serve such a generous and loving God I will
always be surrounded and be blessed by such generous and loving family
and friends. And today for some reason or other, perhaps it was because the whole big family was there together for the first time in a long while that I really felt that I am who I am because of my God, my family and my friends. Each family member and friend has touched and instilled part of themselves in me and even more so with God who has been and will continue to be the sole foundation of my life!

*Monday 12/07/10:
I'm all loved up! Weddings are really making me want to love each
and everyone I meet. Love is natural and learned. Because He loves me first I
love others no matter the situation, context because He loved me first
even when I was in the worst state/context. Love is understanding
others' situations. When others are in difficult times and we are in
good times it is our duty to share our love and blessings to them so
that they too may be elevated in love and blessings.

What is life anyway when everyone is suffering? I feel it is our responsibility and duty to be responsive to our surroundings. To be ignorant is not only
selfish but unhealthy for us. When we are blessed we are responsible
to bless others not because of religion sake but for our own well being. Human kind will never have enough but whatever little we have should be shared in order to benefit others and us. We are blessed to be blessings for others!

I reflected abit today. I don't miss or think about Sydney as much as I used too in previous trips. I believe this is because I know that I am closer with my God
and I am confident that He is sufficient for me. I am learning to
oversee the discomfort, weaknesses etc of Indonesia and I choose to see
the good and positives. I choose to see and work on what God wants me
to do! Walking in God's grace to do and fulfill His will is enough for me to overlook my temporary discomfort.

I was chatting with my uncle who has been in education for 15 years. We were talking about children and education and Indonesia (my passions) and he says that we can only
do what we can for kids despite the influences from situations (limited economics). We can only hope that through education we can help them overcome their situations. This was quite inspiring for me especially when I look ahead and see children in Indonesia whose parents cannot afford education and how their situations at times influences their childrens' character. But I choose to believe that I will do what I can to be a blessing for them even if their situation will influence more I know God's grace is over them. For I believe that it is not humans than can change humans but God Himself can change them through His Christ-like disciples who are willing to do it. And that is my most learnt lesson from this who trip: to be Christ-like in everything I do and bring glory only to Him.

*Wednesday 14/07/10:
I went to have a massage today. During the session the lady was sharing about her life. How she has left her 2 young children back in her village with her mother because she in search of a job in the big city. She shared about how it has been difficult of her being away from children. From her story I learnt that there are many people in Indonesia who do to other people what they cannot do for their own
family. What I mean is that there are many people who become nannies to other peoples' children but because of circumstance they have to become parents to other peoples' children for money.

*Sunday 18/07/10:
Today the Holy Spirit instilled another statement in my heart:
-Who am I that even my God is jealous for my attention and love?

*Wednesday 21/07/10:
I remember when I felt pain before I left for Indonesia, where my flesh
was going to hurt. This translated to = here in Indonesia I don't have any plans, I just have to go with the flow... I have to let go of my "perfectionist" side... And let go of my control. Where ever God wants to lead and take me then that's where I have to be. I am not in control of my plans but God is in control of His plans that is at work in my life.

This journey compared to past is different. In the past I would feel
like I want to go back to Sydney. My heart would miss Sydney. But this
time it is not. My heart is content and peaceful here. This is because I
know that God is giving me peace and joy and also partly because I
know my calling and job here is not finished yet. So again, my home is where ever God wants me to be even in my discomfort I am made comfortable because of God!

*Sunday 25/07/10:
Youth of Taman Royal GBI Victory sang a song. It touched my heart and
spirit. Their sincerity and purity was intensely felt. Made me cry.
These people sang from heart and experience of how God is still good
to them even though they may have uncertain circumstances. I want a relationship with God like that. Where whatever my situation is like I still want to stand tall and sing my heart out to the love of my life!

*Sunday 25/07/10:
At GBI Victory Kebon Jeruk the Holy Spirit instilled these statements in my heart:
-Your faith will determine the result of your desires/dreams/goals.
-Faith is the vehicle that will bring us to the fulfillment of God's
destiny for us!

*Saturday 24/07/10 - Monday 26/07/10:
Saturday night was the first night sleeping over at Ku Datno's (my uncle who is helping managing the school) house. That was the
night my uncle who was going through some process in his life, slept over too. He was in terrible condition. We prayed but he left the room. Turns out that night was the peak of process. He was battling with himself. He didn't sleep well.

Through these past few days walking into the lives of Ku Datno and Kim
Dewi and into their ministry I've learnt how tough and hard it is to
be in the Pastorial ministry. It's not about preaching on Sunday but
the activities, the lives on weekdays they have to organise.

I've learnt that you really have to love people. You have to love
these people as Jesus loves us or else we can backslide.

The battle for my uncle with this process just shows / an example of the mind, heart and spirit at heads. It's experience first hand of how when the human
flesh desires one thing while the spirit and hearts knows better. But
surely God's grace and mercy is over his life forever more..

It's a lesson that once we have given into the flesh but then repent the flesh will continue to ask for more of the "unGodly" until we completely let go of it.

I went to the kindagarten for a little while today. Took some photos.
Met the teachers. They kids had left already. I heart really felt
strong towards this village and the kids there more so than the school
in Tangerang. I know deep down in my heart that these kids are much
loved by God!

Me with 3 teachers from the Kindagarten and my aunty Kim Dewi.

The Principal with her class.

One of the classrooms.

One of the kids doing colouring.

*Thurs 29/07/10:
Ku Datno offered me to go to Malaysia for a few days but I declined.
Wanted to stay here in Jakarta. Remember what I have to do here-the
school.

*Fri 30/07/10:
The Holy Spirit instilled this question for me to ask God: what is the life You want me to live? If we can get an answer to that question, it will change everything.

Another lesson I learnt about my uncle who is going through this process is that our spirit can be strong but because of our too often weak flesh that draws us into sin.

As I go to malls and "shopping" and accompanying my cousins, I don't feel attracted to
shop and spend. I feel like the less I spend the more I can give to the kids and the school who need it more than I need to buy a bag etc. I've learnt that I need to live life without things I don't necessarily need. Possessions can only give me temporary satisfaction but knowing that my money can go along way for somebody else is more rewarding to me than anything else.

*Tues 3/08/10:
Went to TK Taman Royal. There was a black out during the whole time.
I was mostly in the playgroup. The kids were fun! Took pictures. Then went
for my first driving lesson. It went fine. Just need to practice more.

*Wed 4/08/10:
I'm confused. To stay longer in Indonesia or to go back home. My sister needs me to come home. I feel like I have to be there for her even though there may not be a lot for me to do there for her. I don't know if it's my feeling or my spirit that makes me want to stay in Indonesia longer. But to stay longer and to do what I don't know. Right now I'm at loss. I wish I could just turn the clock off and sit and just
think about what I should really do. I'm really at loss. I need direction. I need help. I need an answer. I guess also why I'm at this stage in thinking is because of my mum saying that I should stay longer if I wanted too. And also telling me that if I feel I should stay I could stay. But my problem is work and what to do here in Indonesia. Also I'm afraid and unsure of what kind of work I should do when I get
back to Sydney. How do I combine God's vision and plan for me in Indonesia and
still be Syd? That's the confusing part. Plus putting my feelings into it makes it even worse. I just want to go to Perth and hang out with Ko
Andre...

*Thurs 5/08/10:
I went to TK Kemangissan today. Kids are more 'active' and more physical than
in Taman Royal. Not just boys but girls also get involved in fights.
Not entirely their fault but their parents and situations that condone
this behaviour. Kak Nur (the Principal) explained how some of the childrens' parents
are "gangsters" and tukang parkir (carpark men). And without this school the kids would be pengamens (begging) on the streets. The parents are so thankful that this school exists. Otherwise their kids have nothing to look forward too.

As I was walking and recording with my video camera through the streets I met two of the kids. One of them introduced me to his grandfather as his teacher. I
was so touched! I felt that I had contributed something into his life.
I was really touched! And I pray that he may see more in me than just a teacher but also a humble servant of God and maybe one day he too can follow suit.

I was quite shocked to see their living situations. To see that these kids are from here. I just wanted to see what it was like and hopefully one day God does more for these people, which I'm very sure He will do.

And through this whole project I am only humbled that He would use someone like me to bless these people. May His name and Kingdom be glorified through everything I do!

I also made the decision to extend one week. Don't know exactly what
made me do it. Just felt that I needed to do it.

*Fri 06/08/10:
I went to the TK (kindagarten) again. Took more photos. Recorded interviews with the mothers. They talked about their lives. Hardships. I felt for them and their kids. Then
Rakhael's (a student) mum gave me a thank you card. She cried as she gave it to me. And I cried too because she said that only this was what they could give me. They
were going to pull 2000rp each to buy me a souvenir to show their thanks. But what they had given me was enough. Enough for me to be touched and cry. It's not the gift but the thought itself that counts. I was touched to see how much of an impact my offering had become. It just goes to show that whatever we have in our hands little or big when it is in His hands it will go a long way!

After talking to the parents we prayed with the teachers and Rakhel's
mum (as the teachers always do after class). We worshipped and I was really filled with His Spirit. I felt He loved these kids very much. I was in awe of His greatness. How much He wanted to use me to be a blessing to these kids. I was so privileged to be used by God to help these kids. I knew that this was truly a Spirit-led project!

Then I went to Tante Endah's (a servant at my uncle's church) house where we chatted. I shared with her all my stories about how God moved me to invest in this school. From
not going to Malaysia and Thailand to building this school. And I shared with her about mup y history, about how my parents moved to Australia and all our struggles from waking early and going to my neighbour's house, to not being able to read and write because my parents couldn't teach me etc. Tante Endah and Rakhel's mum
cried and were touched. I shared about how struggle is still struggle in any location. The difference is our response to these struggles. If we face them in faith with God then nothing is really impossible.

What I learnt most about this was how much my life is full of God's grace. This opportunity to share allowed me to look to my rear view mirror (illustration inspired by driving lessons) and appreciate and be thankful for what God has made in my life. All my past experiences from my childhood to high school to now all showed how much my life story is worth something when I walk with God to help and inspire others. I learnt that God is good in all situations because He has a purpose for my life.

What really touched me about sharing my life story was how much I struggled in school, which is probably why I felt so connected and related to these kids of Kampung Sawa. Their struggle maybe different to mine because of location and experience but struggle is struggle that binds me to these kids.

Our God is amazing! Even when I'm taking driving lessons my life story is becoming an inspiration for others. Today my driving instructor was inspired by my life story. I look back and ponder what's happened in my 22 years of life and I find nothing because God has made everything wonderful according to Him and that is enough for me. I am truly walking out God's Word of sharing the gospel to the ends of the earth (well starting off with Indonesia).

*Wed 11/08/10:
Flew to Malaysia. Here everything is so clean and tidy. No people living on streets. Rested a bit at Pst. Ezekiel's house. Learnt to live very simple. No air con just fan. Bunk bed. Very small. But I experienced it all to learn. All the roads are highways. All have street signs. Reminds me of Australia. Quite like it here. Especially when we got to Tante Eeng's house. Beautiful apartment. Great view. Feels like I'm in Australia in an expensive apartment. But despite all the beauty and lights of Malaysia my heart is still in Indonesia.

*Thurs 12/08/10:
Got to sleep in. Room was great! Before breakfast Ku Datno, Kim Dewi and Tante E'eng were talking. She shared about her family life. Then Ku Datno shared about Mak Marta's (my grandmother) life story. I got in touch with my familial relations. Ku Datno and Kim Dewi were sharing about our
family struggles. This morning was full of stories and history and lessons. Throughout all God's provision over our family is never ending.

Today we're off sightseeing. First stop tallest Hindu statue. Quite scary. Spirit feel different. Be careful. Kim Dewi says not to take photos with the statues.

As we're driving you can see that Malaysia is very 'natural' in that
there are plenty of trees and greenery. Good for oxygen. Shows that
not every little piece of space they build to make malls etc. Perhaps
it's because their population is not as much as Indonesia. Many of the
buildings and skyscrappers are tidy and clean and looks more 'livable'
than in Indonesian apartments.

*Fri 13/08/10:
Going to Genting. God's favour on us we are being driven in an Alphard
car. Such a blessing! Car is spacious, has drinks, lollies, air con.
Basically everything I've never thought of! God is great! He surely
makes sure His servants are well taken care of.

I've learnt to live life in 'low' points like at TK and at family's
house but I also get to learn to live 'high' like in apartments,
basically live a more than good lifestyle. And in all this I've learnt
that in any situation God is constant in my life. My situation or
location or place can change but I know that on all this God will
never change. He is in my 'low' times and He is in my 'high' times and
all I can do is be thankful to Him and keep doing what He has called
me to do!

Once we got to Genting Hotel, we were greeted well. The hotel is
great. Rooms are beyond what I expected. So luxurious! Feel norak
taking photos in bathrooms. So amazed at God's favour and blessing and
grace. We got to stay in such a grand hotel for free. One night here
costs about $400-$500. Really I've learnt that God really takes care
of His servants who are obedient to Him! I thank God for all this!
Love you Lord!

*Saturday 14/08/10:
Had breakfast in the buffet. Took some photos of Genting. I've really
appreciated my time here. Been blessed!

During breakfast, lunch and dinner we've chatted with Pastors. Learnt
many things and lessons about the Christian faith/walk. It's allowed
my perspectives to be matured.

*Tuesday 17/08/10:
Indonesian Independence Day. Now at church wanting to celebrate it.
Before that had gone to see Opoh. Talked, made me cry as we talked about my future.

I am only as good as God wants to use me. When I no longer am good and
walk out of God's grace and righteousness then I am no longer good
enough to be used by God and be a blessing. That is why I continue to
walk in His righteousness so I can continue to be a blessing for Him!

Sitting in the service we watched a video about Indonesia. Photos of Indonesia are shown while an Indonesian song is playing. Made me shiver and tear up for some reason. Seeing the flag and nationalism touched me. I really felt for this country. Like there is a bond or tie to this country. I don't know if I could feel like this for Australia.

Let us become a new generation for our nation.

I've realised that my pride of Australia needs to be readjusted. I cannot be too proud of just Australia because Indonesia is too my country and despite it's 'bad' things I need to realise and work towards to contributing to Indonesia! How weird is that?

*Thursday 19/09/10:
Full of stress because of baggage. Didn't cry when saying goodbye which was strange. But when at airport when baggage was over I cried to Ku Datno and Kim Dewi. Didn't know how much sensitive I am to things such as this. I ended up talking about how I haven't done much compared to Ii Iyan and her history of hardwork that is written on the scars and roughness of her hands. I don't have that much scars so I haven't done much. Made me sad and sort of insufficient.. This was such a strange time for me. It was like as if what I have done (invested in school) is nothing yet compared to greater things that are to come.

*Fri 20/09/10: Arrived safely in Sydney.

*Thurs 26/08/10:
Was on my way home from work. Feeling tired as usual. Beginning to complain but then was consoled by the Holy Spirit who said that I should be thankful to even have a job and work. Many people in Indonesia don't have this 'luxury' and would do anything for it. So Steph don't complain but rather work hard and make the most of every opportunity!

*Fri 03/09/10:
Watching Oprah and her dream team, one lady by the name of Suzie Orman said "define the things around you. Don't let the things around you define you!"

*Sat 04/09/10:
Went to shopping mall Bondi Junction. Looked at so many shops and felt an urge to buy but knew that my money could be used for better things especially since I had thrown out alot of things last week because I never used them anymore. This caused such headache for me. Because I'm so used to buying things even if they were something small. Grr.. But this is all process for me! To be smart in how I spend my money.. But I'm at a loss as to what I should save up for next.. Any suggestions?

Initial stages in God's vision for this school:
When I got God's vision for this school and responded to it by actually investing financially in it I didn't do it because of fame or anything like that. I simply did it because I knew WHO was asking this from me and it was my God, my Father. And kind of child would I be if I did not respond to Him by obeying? What right to I have anyway to say no to God? Is it not His grace that has allowed me to live a reasonably 'good life'? And so with this in my mind and heart I said yes to God.

It is all about God. Not me. I don't want the kids to remember 'Ibu Phanie' but I want them to see the Christ in me. I want them to see that you don't have to be a 'great shot' (org hebat/kaya) to do something like this to bless someone because I would like to set an example for these kids that with what 'little' you have in your hand you can bless someone else. And if they can understand this concept and live it through then there is a greater possibility for Indonesia to move forward. It is about enabling the people to be who they have been created to be (and in comes the Word of God) to be the salt and light of this world and alongside living in great abundance. And for me the 'Christian equation' doesn't add up if the Christians who have the finance and education don't lend their hands out to fellow Christians who don't have the finance and education (but have the faith like the rest of us) to bring forth God's word and fulfillment of His plan which is to bring salvation. But when I say the Christians who have the finance and education don't lend their hands out I don't mean just strictly materialistic. Because as Jesus himself was an example that we can be blessings not just through finance but also through love, care, attention etc.

So part of my vision is to build a bridge between those of have finance and education and connect them with those who have limited finance and education in order to together bring forth the good news of God and may His plans be fulfilled.

This is better than Bali... Seriously!!

2010-07-06T23:01:00.003+10:00

My sister and cousin had already left for Indo last Friday but I decided to stay in Sydney for another week. Why? Because of Hillsong Conference 2010!

And it turns out (as I expected) to be more than I had imagined! It was awesome and mind blowing! So I know now that everything that God has planned is for the greater good of His children. I had bought these tickets 1 year ago to the date and I had never imaged how it would become such a blessing and how much God would reveal to me.

But I know definitely now that God is a definite planner even to the very detail!

Anyways, I just wanted to share very briefly what I've gotten so far at the Conference:
-It is time for me to become the 'Christ' to someone out there. I have to be the 'hands' and 'feet' for someone. No more excuses, just actions with faith!
-Humanity is to give an uncomplicated path to... (whatever you are called to do)
-What I may think is "dead" may NOT be dead! Believe in God because He is able to turn things around.
-Think about this statement: 'Jesus WAS dead'. What does that insinuate? You would think that death was a "guarantee" but for Jesus it may not.
-God loves us so much that He works on His own timetable and not our's. So don't complain when things aren't going your way. He has prepared the best for last!
-God transcends logic! And so He will "awaken"/"reignite your"dead" dreams and passions just as Jesus did to Lazarus.
-Don't wait for the 'someday' but think and believe and do it today!
-Realise that our God is not just our comforter but also our emancipator, healer, redeemer etc. So don't restrict Him because He wants to make us who He created us to be.
-What God said He can do, He will do. It requires not just hope but also faith!
-One child at a time. A change one person's life, creates opportunity and it is then potential surfaces.
-It is God's speech that makes our speech necessary!
-God can do what we cannot do!
-We need to speak what He has spoken into our lives!
-The Spirit of the Lord is upon us to be spokespersons of His Gospel!
-Lean into your strengths and delegate your weaknesses!
-God has designed you to do something but don't do what you are NOT designed to do!
-Do what you are good at and delegate your weaknesses.

All these simple but powerful statements resound quite strongly in my heart and situation! But most of all through today's Conference that it has reassured me as God says "I am writing your story Steph for it to be one day preached so don't be afraid of 'My pen' (process etc.) that is being used to write your life story. Do not be afraid of where I am going to take you. You have not seen or heard the skim of it yet! Freely surrender to Me! Because that is what these speakers did! They were responsive and available to My call and assignment. And that is how and why they are speaking today at this Conference. Because of the experience and journey they have walked and continue to walk in is why there are such great speakers. But most of all they weren't afraid of 'My pen' (process etc.) So for you too Steph, do not be afraid of what I have installed for you. Your "tribulations" now are only 'catapulting' instruments I am using to elevate and bring life to the Word, to My Word! Do not be afraid My child!"

And how awesome is our God(?) as I sit here and type this out He is placing words in my mind and heart. They are arranged beautifully to make powerful and mind blowing statements that I know are NOT mine for I am not that smart. But it is truly His Spirit that resides in my heart. It is only further reminding me of God's promise to me that my writing will be sharpened to touch peoples' lives! And God I declare to You now, today that I am open and I surrender to You only!

I stand not afraid of where You will take me or what You will do to me for I know that You are with me and You are for me! I will work for You and find rest only in You!

Be blessed always my dear! =)

.... the dream

2010-07-03T12:41:00.002+10:00

(Continuation of previous post)
And strangely enough the day after I had the dream I went to the Indonesian Consulate to pick up my passport aftering applying for a VISA. While I was waiting in line I was watching the tv screen that showed off Indonesia's culture, people, politicians etc. There were images of heads of state in meetings, politicians taking photos etc. And I was somehow interested and not only that as I kept on watching I began to feel shiver all over my body. (I know that sounds weird! I even think so too. But that was what I felt). And I began to question why I was feeling this way (like I always do!). Then I started to remember of the dream I just had. I knew my Spirit was trying to tell me something and it was becoming more like a jig saw puzzle that only I had to figure out while God had the pieces and was showing them to me one at a time.

So the revelation I got in my heart as I was watching the tv and in relation to remembering my dream was this:
- you will one day be there and among people like them.
- you will be among people of influence, people of power, people of change, people of politics.
- I (God) will give you what you have always desired (which is meeting people of influence, in particular politic/s/ians).
- the dream you had last night was a snippet of what I have planned for you. To be among people of great power and influence.
- what you are going through now is only the building ground/instrument that I will use to "catapult" you. Your history and experience is My tool to show and bring change.
- keep yourself humble at all times and My Spirit and sensitivity to My voice and direction/call will always be with you.

How amazing is that?! I know much of this doesn't make sense to me right now, let alone you guys understanding it but I feel so strongly about this. And I believe that once God has spoken there is no turning back or taking back. We can only move forward and upwards!

So heart guys as to what He has said in your life/for you. For His words will never go to waste, rather it will prosper and bear fruitful in your journey with Him. Just always remember to be 'available' and repson to His voice and call. You can never go wrong with that!

Strange dream

2010-07-02T00:12:00.002+10:00

Last night I had a really strange dream. I vaguely remember it but what I could remember was that I was in such a horrible state I was beginning to wonder why I was going through all of this. I can't exactly remember what was going on but I remember questioning my experience. Why was this happening? And I only remember His Spirit telling me that I could do it and that it was all for the greater plan He has for me (in terms of Indonesia and Australia). And then suddenly I was 'flashforwarded' to the future where I was in front of a huge crowd for some unknown (to me at this time) reason. It was like a stage or something and the only thing I can remember was saying 'this journey I have walked with God on my side.' And in saying that my Spirit began to remind me of all the things I had gone through, the ups and downs and the highs and the lows was just for that one moment, which in hindsight I know was to glorify His Kingdom.

What are you afraid of?

2010-07-01T23:57:00.002+10:00

I only came to realise today how 'afraid' I am of going to Indonesia. I was on the bus today doing my errands when I realised how much my life is going to change in 1 week. I won't be able to do what I am used too, do what I like. My life will be more constricted in some ways yet liberating in others. But I know that I have to be strong and push forward and put aside my worries. For the greater part of my life is to let His will be done in me and if that means to sacrifice little things like my freedom, finances, comfort then let it be because I know in my heart that though it may seem like I'm leading a constricted life in God but really it has been and will continue to be the most liberating and awesome journey. And flying out to Indonesia next week is going to be another chapter of this journey I am on. So I should not be afraid but look forward to what's ahead! =)

When life throws you a curve ball you....???

2010-07-01T23:31:00.002+10:00

When my aunt told me about an incident that caused the furniture (tables and chairs) for the school we're building in Jakarta to burn down, I was in shock. I wasn't angry or upset, just curious. I believe the money I had sent to set this school up was no longer my money hence I felt I had no right to feel upset. But I was just curious as to what God has planned. I believe that we have decided to build this school by faith and we will continue to walk in faith until His vision will come to fruition. But this 'hurdle' had come from no where. The people who made the furniture was caught up in an ethnic brawl which caused a fight to break out, which lead to the burning of everything around that town.

Anyways, at church service the next day I just prayed and asked for God's wisdom. And He said:
-you are not defeated.
-the victory is in your hands.
-nothing is impossible for Him.
-He can turn the situation around in Indonesia.
-be faithful and trust in Him.

And most of all my interest in biographies had been made clear that day. I've always had an interest in reading peoples' biographies particularly the early life stage because it highlights how much these people have grown and faced the odds and become who they always knew they could be.

So that day God just revealed to me that my interest in biographies was only to lead to one day writing not my own biography but write His biography. I realised that there is no other biography I would like to write but His. It is/will be more powerful and influential than any other biography. And I learnt that people out there need to read/hear of His biography. So He said 'so let Me use you Steph to write My biography.' And I replied with 'tear away my pride and honour so that Your biography is not tainted by anything of me but only YOU!' And most important of all the Bible is the source and start of His biography and people need this!

So I learnt from this 'curve ball' that for great things to happen, for history to be made, the early stages are always the hardest, where the most sacrifice will be made but it will be great for God's Kingdom.

I learnt that I have to be selfless in order for His miracle/plan to happen in my life. And that this school is/will be a great part of God's will for my life. To bring change in Jakarta, Indonesia so He assured me not to be afraid to face the sacrifice, challenge and obstacles because that is all part of God's biography. Let challenges come to enable growth and become a testament for God's Kingdom on earth.

So I learnt that I should not stop or hinder or blame these challenges on anyone but but let it be part of God's story of victory. For He is in control. So Steph let Me write the story, the script and you just follow it, trust and have faith in Me, says the Lord.

And I say 'Lord, it doesn't matter what happens to me but let YOUR will be done in me!'

So let this journey of self-lessness begin!

Being a teen again...

2010-07-01T23:18:00.002+10:00

A couple of weeks ago I went back to my old youth group. The last time I was there was about 7 years ago so I didn't know what to expect. I was going just to see what's been happening there.

I had such an awesome experience there straight from the get go. From the praise and worship God just filled His spirit in the room. I wasn't sure of the teens felt it but I knew He was there. There was an overwhelming feeling of love and desire to be close to these from God.

On a personal level I learnt that the Spirit was telling me that I had not even begun to skim the top of what God has planned for me. What He has planned for me will blow my mind away and I should anticipate the best!

I also learnt that we are all the same. No matter the age gap or whatever God sees us the same way. I need to have a 'child like faith' and keep believing in the impossible just like the teens should.

We often need to go back in order to move forward and I feel like going back to the youth group only served to remind me that we can never second guess God's plan for us. We never know what He has for us but by His grace He takes us into situations where He reveals parts of His greater plan for us. So just anticipate and be open to where He takes us. You never know what you learn or what part of the greater plan He is revealing to you!

Don't rush it! Take it sloowww...

2010-05-26T17:48:00.002+10:00

At last Friday's service while I was listening to a powerful message by my local Pastor about God's Order, I got a poweerful revelation of my own that blew my mind away.

So you all probably know by now how much I "over-think" and "over-analayze" and "over-plan" things to the extent it drives me crazy! Particularly lately since I'm approaching the very last weeks of my uni life and soon to be heading into the "real world" of job hunting!

But in light of these mixed emotions and thoughts as I sat there at the service it was like as if a light was turned on in the midst of darkness, sunshine arose from the rain! The revelation was:
-don't rush God's vision to happen in your life!
-don't force it
-don't make a move until God instructs you!
-it is His plan for your life so let Him take care of HOW and WHEN it will happen!

This all translated to my present context to:
-I have to work in my field of communication after I graduate
-for His call of teaching kids and ministering will have it's own time
-He will open the door for it to happen
-His time is never too late!

I knew then that when I really seek earnestly for His Word and His will I will no longer live in confusement or fear! For He is my security and that's all I need for it says in Psalm 127:1
Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain.

It is GOD who makes sure every promise He has made to you will come to pass. So if you're questioning His plan for you, I offer these kind words to you: never doubt Him! He will surely make all His promises come true in your life!

What is on Steph's mind these days?

2010-05-14T17:40:00.002+10:00

So last week while I was at Koorong Bookstore browsing around for gifts for my friend and aunt, I promised to myself that I would not buy any new books. I have like 10 books at home that I've either only partly read and not finush yet or even books I haven't read at all!!! But this was one promise I knew I couldn't keep.

I bought this amazing book titled: "The Deborah Company - becoming a woman who makes a difference" by Jane Hamon. It's such an inspirational and motivating book! I only started reading it last night and I'm already on chapter 5!!! I seriouslt couldn't put the book down.

It really opens up my perspective about my visions and dreams and how God will bring me to greater heights when I begin to trust and have faith in thr visions and dreams God has given me!

I'm so relieved and excited to have found a book that really speaks to my current situation! (Not saying the other books don't do this.)

After finally realising my vision and dream and God's purpose for my life, this book has come into my life at the right time to help me chase down and fulfill His vision and destiny for me!

So if you feel you're at this point too where you know your Godly vision and are ready to chase it down, read this book! It'll help you alot in giving confidence in realising that vision! =)

From mere 'existence' to now living the plan

2010-05-12T23:46:00.000+10:00

I haven't been 'living' my days recently. I've merely 'existed.' I have lost my ways in confusement. But today after taking the time to sit and seek His Word and dwell in His presence God opened new revelations for me. They were: remember your interests. What initially interested you into media and communication? Know that through this you will know what you have to do. And when I sat down and thought about it I knew what I had to pursue and that was: advertising, marketing, information communication, market research. These are the things that interest me. Especially since I was at Insearch and doing the final project.

So now I know that my place is here in Sydney and to pursue something in communication and marketing. And after having a chat with my aunt I know that there are many options I can go: non-profit organisations because then I can use my skills and do good.

From frustration to clarity

2010-05-12T23:36:00.002+10:00

The past week has been strange learning curve for me. From failing an assignment to getting a fine to being confronted as to what I have to do with my future. My aunt and uncle asked me what I was going to do after I come back from Indo. What career am I going to pursue? What's the Indo school project? What do I want to do?

After that I prayed and seeked His will. Out of my frustration I needed to find clarity. And I found clarity at church during the praise&worship. God spoke and said:
-I gave you the fine because you need to realise that you are no longer a student. And no longer being a student means you need to get serious and your act together in regards to your future.
-you have blurred vision after August because you need to sit down and dwell on My word and seek My will. Again remember what I have said to you on your birthday about sitting down and pondering My word and I will give you My visions.
-as we were singing a song about our city and how God has a purpose for everyone in their city. And God spoke to me through this song in that Sydney is my city. Steph you are not going anywhere. You have to do what you have studied and I will show you where to go to next. Yes Indo is part of your vision but it is not yout destination right now. Remember that you are originally sent to Indo in July by Me to search the city of Jakarta. Look at what needs to be done. Look at what can be changed and/or improved. He reminded me that Jakarta is now my destination now because there are people here in Sydney that need you.

So the lesson learnt here is that you grow and learn from experience. So don't run away from the experiences that are difficult. Face them head on with His Spirit and you'll surely be able to overcome.

Open your eyes mannnn....!!!

2010-05-02T22:28:00.002+10:00

Just came home from an amazingly and electrifying church service!! We had an awesome speaker - Pastor Indri Gautama who really got me to see what God sees about visions and dreams and the future.

I really learnt alot from her teachings. I learnt alot about visions and about how they come about into our lives and how they are fulfilled.

I know that at the moment my focus is to sit down and to dwell in His words and seek His instructions. I know that at the moment I need to diligently seek Him so I know what I need to do next in particular about the school we're building in Jakarta.

I know that He has made me feel 'restless' and uncomfortable these past few weeks (as written in my previous post) because He wants me to just sit and read His words and find out what's "my next installment."

I was at work yesterday and towards the end of my shift I was sitting and just reading Jentzeen Franklin's book. I felt peace and calm and I knew that that was my place. I knew in my heart and in my spirit and mind that this 'restlessness' was only going to be calmed by filling my time and mind with His words and revelations.

So this weekend has been just that! At today's service I knew God was going to do something great with this school in Jakarta. I knew that it wasn't by my might but only by His will that great things are going to happen. So I'm going to hold onto that and run with it.

As I sat there in the service tonight I just really really asked Him to give me instructions, give me a 'picture' of what He wants from this school and what He wants to do with it. And this is what I got from Him:
-involve your Sunday School kids. Encourage and teach them about humanity and to give to others. Teach them to make things that can be useful for the school kids in Jakarta. Teach them compassion. Perhaps go into pen pals-write letters of encouragement to each other. Be creative in this area.
-involve particular friends who are already in Jakarta who maybe interested in this.
-bring exposure about disadvantaged kids from Jakarta to Sydney. Start laying the foundations of a relationship between these two countries and starting walking out the call God has over my life. (Refer to last year's January 2009 prophesies)
-involve your closest friends in this project.
-make videos of the kids in Jakarta, what their life is like and how we here in Sydney can be an impact.
-make a website. Use the things I've learnt and put it into bringing this vision and project to life.
-involve the teenagers at my local church and cell group mates to get involved in fundraising for money for the kids back in Jakarta. What we think is 'small' value here is worth quite more in Indonesia.

But most of all I learnt to open up my eyes and see the bigger picture! And Pastor Indri was encouraging us to let our minds be the platform of imagination where we let God draw in it what He wants through His word-the Bible.

I know that this is going to be tough but I believe in it so much that I'm not willing to let it go. You may ask 'so Steph what is it you're actually doing?' Well I'm co-investing in building a kindergarten school in one of the most poorest places in Jakarta. The school will cater education to the most poor of kids. This school will teach the kids not just exclusive Christianity principles but how to grow in Kindgom values and be an impact where ever you are no matter what your status is. I want the kids to learn that they are loved and they can love. That they are born to be a somebody. That they can be the change they want to see in this world.

And I know that in the days to come as I press more and more unto Him, He will make this vision more clearer and more sharper. And I'm excited!!!

SO guys, open up your eyes and start seeing the bigger picture. Know that you too are able to do anything when you just strip away your unbelief, let Him speak and receive it and run with it in the winddddddd....wwwwwhhhhhooooossshhh.....

Steph is going crazyyyyy...!!!

2010-04-24T14:21:00.003+10:00

So this week has not been a very good week for me! Since my birthday I've been faced and tested with trial after trial. Trial in terms of relationships, work, familial, ministry wise. It seems everything I do is turning inside out and upside down... I'm getting tired of it. I feel like as I have surrendered my all, I'm losing control and it's 'killing' me! I know I've made the decision to give it all to God-my finances, my relationships, my work etc. But it's getting so hard for me... I often find myself frustrated at myself and upset. And this affects the people around me. I have a feeling that when we do what is right and what God wants us to do. When we 'empty' ourselves for Him, we are 'at loss' and have no control over anything. And that's me now. I know I'm undergoing a 'character restructure' but it hurts and I'm tired but I'm choosing to see the crown of life! I'm choosing to see His Kingdom be established in me!

So guys please keep me in your prayers! Thank you! =)

Gift of friendship

2010-04-23T00:25:00.003+10:00

Just came home from dinner with my high school friends. It was a lovely evening of eating, chatting and laughing. I always enjoy my time hanging with them!

And this is a gift they got me.

If you remember last year they got me a necklace with a cross, which I love and have treasured!

Want to see me 22 years ago?! Hahaha...

2010-04-22T00:10:00.005+10:00

I got home from work today and was shocked to find this on my desk!

Can you imagine when I got home it was dark and everyone was at my aunt's house. I was surprised and a little scared to see this photo that I have never seen before on my desk!

But to my amazement after asking my mum it turns out she was cleaning out her old things and came across this. And wanted to give it to me.

So guys, that was me 22 years ago... Hehehe...

Investing in God's Kingdom

2010-04-21T23:53:00.000+10:00

21 April 2010

So I've made the commitment to invest $1500 for a school in Jakarta. It'll start with kindergarten classes in a very poor suburb in Jakarta. Already there are about 20 potential children! I'm quite excited!! We've started to buy seats and a banner for the school.

Please keep this 'project' in your prayers! May His provision be upon it!

I've learnt from this new experience:
-Live+give big=recieve big!
-Live extraordinarily=receive extraordinarily!

I'm touched...

2010-04-20T22:56:00.002+10:00

So last Sunday while I was in church service my sister dropped by my seat to pass me an envelope. I didn't want it was. She just said that "it's from Joey and the twins." So I just left it unopened until after church.

As I was walking to lunch with my cousin Grace, I opened the envelope. The outside was already full of love! I didn't even have to open it and I was already touched!!!

Then I opened the card and it was full of well wishes and blessings from my Kidz Church students, teachers and ex-Kidz Church students.

My Kidz Church kids who didn't write much except their name was more than enough for me! I felt their sincere well wishes and that was priceless!!

So thank you Edward, Edwin, Joey and everyone who signed the card!! I loved it!! =D

Birthday message

2010-04-17T14:13:00.002+10:00

My Pastor (wife) gave me these verses for my 22nd birthday.

Proverbs 31:25-26
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

Ephesians 5:17
Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

May these scriptures be light for my path and never depart from my heart, mind and spirit.

Come and sit with me my dear...

2010-04-17T14:07:00.000+10:00

My church pastor prayed for my birthday last night after church service. He prayed that in my new year God's heart will br mine, what He sees I see, what He hears I hear, what He speaks I speak. That was my exact prayer (through my fasting last year. I guess it is true about the father (Spiritual father in this case) knowing what is the desire of their child) Anyways, then God spoke through Him. My Pastor said: I see you running all the time and God wants you to stop and rest in Him. He wants you to stop your activities and reflect on His word. He wants you to build your relationship with Him. Spend more time with Him. Delve more into Him. Because God says He is ready to show you His visions if you seek Him. This year is important for you that's why don't waste time and truly seek Him.

After the prayer my Pastor just confirmed with me about what God wants from me. He says God wants me to stop from my busy activities and just sit with Him and ponder His word and ways. The keyword being 'ponder.' For when I do that God will show His visiobns to me!!! How exciting!!! God wants me to be with Him more!! I'm real excited!!!

I believe that even before God speaks to us through people around us like our Pastors He has already spoken to us! Our Pastors only confirm it. I know that God has asked me to slow down and last night was a confirmation.

But by slowing down does that mean letting go of my activity? Which one? Uni, work, ministry? Uni cannot be altered. Work I am cutting down my hours. Ministry? Possibly? But I love my ministry! I would love to teach all the time and it's good for me. But as I say this I remember; we have to cut off the good things (good according to us) just so we can get the BEST things from God!!

So I'm not 100% sure as to what activity I have to let go just so I can focus more on Him. I perhaps have to consult my leaders and even my Pastor again. But foremost is to pray and seek His directive.

So God I ask you now how shall I slow down??!!

I'm sorry but I have to let you go...

2010-04-17T13:35:00.002+10:00

As I approached my 22nd b'day I learnt 2 things.
1. God wants me to not get involved in a relationship. Meaning though I'm 22 years old, it's not the time to be in a relationship. So no boyfriend! So it's quite hard for me hard to 'let' go of my feelings for this one guy I've grown to like. But God knows the best! I have to let go of the good so I can get the best even if I think that this guy is the best for me it means letting go of the guy you like. But I'm learning to refocus onto Him and surely when I do He will give me the very best according to my vision and also the guy's!!

I feel secure in letting this guy go because I know that God has great things installed for both this guy and I to do (perhaps seperately). And I'm willing to lay down my feelings for him for us to grow individually in Christ, fulfilling God's call and then maybe if God wills it then we shall 'meet' again... Hhhmmmppphhh...

2. I've learnt that the greatest gift I can and have received for my 22nd birthday is the support, prayer and encouragement from my family and friends! I remember when the clock struck 12midnight on 14 April and my ex-neighbour and very good friend called me to wish me happy birthday! He prayed for me, which was very heartfelt!!! Then he asked me what I wanted for my birthday and all I said was 'your prayer is enough for me! Your prayer is the best gift!'

And that's when I realised that there is no other gift that can beat the gift of a prayer!!
So thank you my dear family and friends for your prayers, support and encouragement! It's priceless!!!

I know what I want for my birthday....

2010-04-12T00:25:00.002+10:00

So after receiving God's Word and revelation for me this year I can only see fitting that the "perfect" birthday gift for me (since my birthday is the 15th April!! hehehe) is a video camera!

I want a video camera NOT for myself but truly for the work of God. I want to be able to record and make a documentary while I'm in Indonesia. And it would be great to have a camera to do so!

So what I want for my birthday is nothing for me but ALL for HIM!

And I've been going around to all my family and telling them that a video camera is all I want for birthday! hehehe... And I'm just sharing this "piece of information" to you guys because I believe one day all my blog entries will become a book and so everything that happens in me will be documented somehow - i.e this blog! =)

The clarity of His voice brings both joy and sadness...

2010-04-11T23:35:00.003+10:00

On the final night of the Conference Pastor Christine Caine had preached about "God's assignment" and the "alarm clock." She shared about how God has given us an "assignment" or called us to do something but all this time we've just be sitting around and wasting time by pressing the "snooze button" of our "alarm clock" (representative of God's assignment) because we say 'God, I don't have the time!' or 'God I'm not married yet!' or 'God my kids are still young!' and all sorts of excuses are "thrown" His way just so we can "justify" our act to hit the snooze button.

That night the preaching really got me about what my "assignment" was and where am I at the moment in "completing" that "assignment."

I felt the Spirit that night remind me of my call for Indonesia ("break my heart for what breaks Yours") and that night after the preching and prayer time I came to the conclusion that I had to live radically for Him otherwise there was no point!

God spoke to me personally on a level I have never experienced before! It was amazing! During the preaching His Spirit confronted me about how the whole world is "groaning" for help but we (the children of God) are just sitting on our bottoms and doing nothing to bring relievement and salvation. I learnt that I need to seek foolishly for God and His will. I need to just do it no matter what people say! I want to be foolish for no one else but God!

But the most intimate and revealing conversation I've had so far with God was that night when Pastor Christine asked us to pray and to respond to the "assignment" God has given us.

So I just took that time to pray and earnestly seek His will for me. I spoke a simple prayer: 'God do what you want in me. You know this year is a pivitol year for me in that I will be graduating from uni and will ahve to start work. I truly want to seek Your will and let it be done in me this year! I will not leave this place until I receive a clear directove from you!'

And after saying that prayer this was my "conversation" with God:-
GOD: What are you going to do in July this year?
STEPH: I'm going to Indonesia because 2 of my cousins are getting married.
GOD: What else do you plan to do?
STEPH: I want to travel to Malaysia and Thailand because I haven't been there and would love to go!
-- And through my Spiritual eyes I could see my hand writing the words 'Malaysia' and 'Thailand' --
GOD: I don't want you to go to there.
-- And God's hand holding an eraser stared to erase the my writing 'Malaysia' and 'Thailand' --
STEPH: What are you doing God? Why are you rubbing it out?
GOD: Because I don't want you to go there.
STEPH: Why not?! I have every right to go! I have worked hard, even working 6 days a week just so I could save my money and travel! I deserve to enjoy that holiday!
GOD: I just don't want you to go! This is not the time.
STEPH: Oke Lord, let's just say I agree with you and not go to Malaysia and Thailand, so what do you want me to do with the money I have saved up? It's quite a large sum of money.
GOD: I want you to use it in Indonesia only. I want you to use it to bless churches and children in Indonesia!
-- I "freaked" out! (to say the least!) I "screamed" in Spirit (though dismally because I knew that when God wants something from us there is no way out and we just have to obey but I just tried anyway for the sake of it) --
STEPH: Why are you doing this???!!! Don't you think I deserve to have fun and enjoy all that I've worked hard for?! I've saved all that money with my "blood, sweat and tears!!!" It's not a "small" amount of money (for me) God!! How could you do this to me? I want to use that money to travel because it's my own, I didn't ask $1 from my parents and now YOU want to take it away?! (Though knowing full well God's Word about where your wealth is there is your heart and i knew that God was testing me whether I truly loved Him and not my money)God don't you know that I would love to travel? That is one of my goals. Does that not count anymore? Do my goals not matter to You anymore?
*we had to end the "conversation" there because the Conference had ended but I knew my Spirit was not done yet "arguing with the Lord so I continued when I got home. I shared with my mum and as I shared with her the Spirit just kept spilling over me with tears of laughter and joy and His revelations wouldn't stop!* (So this is the continuation of my "conversation" with God while I was sharing with my mum.

GOD: Yes Stephanie I do acknowledge your passion and goal to travel the world. I know how much you would love to travel and because I know how much it means to you I want to give it to Myself! You will travel the world one day free because someone is going to bless you with a free ticket! That's how much I love you that I want you to travel and experience the world because of ME and because of who I am in you and not because of your own "blood, sweat and tears" (as you say)
-- Just fell into Holy Spirit laughter and honestly almost disbelief --
STEPH: Really Lord? You would actually do that for me? You love me that much that you want to give what I want?
GOD: Yes, just believe! Just as My Word stands true for Pastors you've heard stories about expense-free travel, you too will have that!
-- Cries in excitement and overflowing with love and thanksgiving --
STEPH: So what do you want me to do in Indonesia?
GOD: Use the money you have saved up to bless churches and children there. Teach whatever you can and start laying down the foundations for continual blessings between Indonesia and Australia (God's call for me from 2009). Because the contentment and joy I have prepared for you when you fulfill My call is much more rewarding than a holiday to Malaysia or Thailand or any sum of money!

*END OF CONVERSATION*

And that's when I knew exactly what I had to do for this year. It was not traveling and filling my "human desires" with temporary things but rather to do the will of the Lord, which will being me more content and joy than amount of money can bring!

And after more prayers and intimate talks with God, He revealed to me what He wants from me and how to go about it. I knew how my journalism was going to be used to do God's will and His Word for me and that was to make a documentary about children in Indonesia and how they live and how we in the "affluent" world can help these kids receieve basic necessities. I knew then that all my media related skills were not going to a waste because He is going to use it in combination with my passion-kids and teaching. The teaching comes into play when I teach the kids whatever I can from english to basic reading, writing, counting etc.

So am I exicted for 2010?! Yes!!! Am I scared?! No because whatever He has planned for me I believe is good and having Him on my side I know that there is nothing against me! (Plus during this year's retreat God's message for me was: 'I have placed you on the path you walk now. I am with you all the way!' (How awesome is out God?! He reassures us all the time!)

So I just ask all my friends, yes that means YOU! to keep me in your prayers and truly may the will of the Lord be done in all our lives just like it is in heaven! =)

....Rewind to 1 month ago...

2010-04-11T23:17:00.003+10:00

About a month ago I went to Hillsong Colour Conference. It was amazing! Session after session I was electrified by God's revelation, His Word and His presence.

The highlights of the Conference (and after) included:
- when I got home from the 2nd night of Conference I remember sharing with my mum about the message and how excited I was about what God was doing in life. And suddenly as I kept on sharing with her I felt His Spirit say to me 'you will begin to speak and live things that have never passed your mind!' I knew that as I opened my mouth His Spirit was just filling my lips with words and revelations that had never crossed my mind before. I even had to stop mid conversation just to make sure what I was saying had made sense. If you ask me now what I had been sharing I honestly don;t remember but I do remember is His Spirit just filling me with revelation and message after message that I could not longer contain. And that was when I realised the truth of His Word of "you will start to experience things that have never crossed your mind!" That honestly got me curious and excited!!!

I also remember questioning God (as I was sharing with my mum) that night about how my passion to teach and studying to be a journalist is aligned? And I remember Him just reassuring me that I was on the right path in that He purposely led me down the path of studying journalism and coincidingly placing teaching passions in me. He showed me how being a teacher and journalist is quite similar in that they both require me to question and investigate for the truth. And that's when the picture became more clear. I knew why I had a grow interest in teaching and journalism and I knew deep down that he was planning something great with the both.

I also learnt that night that I've always loved public speaking and I've always loved watching people speak on stage. And I knew why I loved it. It was because God Himself was preparing me to one day speak on stage in front of many. And that night I knew that being elected School Captain and having opportunity after opportunity and compliment and after compliment (about public speaking) was not a coincidence. It was all planned by Him and all I needed to do was just surrender!

But the next post is the most telling post of far this year, so keep reading... =)

Sale Vs. Reward

2010-02-27T12:45:00.002+11:00

Last Tuesday I went to Koorong Bookstore in West Ryde! I was excited to spend my only day off at the bookstore! So off I went and ended up spending almost $200 on books!

What I gained most from that day was this: as I strolled along the aisle looking at the books, the titles and the authors names I felt the Holy Spirit remind me that one day my name will be on a book and it will be on thesr shelves too!! I felt that reminder so strong in my heart it made me excited!!! To have the confirmation of thr Holy Spirit that your dreams are His dreams and what you want is what He truly wants for you too!!

So I encourage you today to find out and align yourself with His desires and your journey will be even more rewarding!!

And as the day ended and a new began (Wed) I found out that Koorong was having a 20% off sale storewide starting from Wed! I knew that the Lord was testing me. I knew He wanted to test whether a sale was more important to me or not! But I've discovered that all I have is His and so whatever I am blessed with, it's not mine. It's only a gift from Him!

Knew it all along...

2010-02-27T12:16:00.004+11:00

About 2 weeks ago I had an "interview" / "meeting" with my Pastor and a church leader. The "interview" was about my "calling" and what I wanted to do in the future. The "interview" was based on results of a questionnaire I took late last year.

Before the "interview" we were encouraged to pray and earnestly seek His purpose, direction and calling over our lives (I was in a class of about 10 students).

So I did as I was told. I prayed and knew deep down that teaching was it.

It came time for the "interview" and it was discussed and concluded that:
- My calling is to be a teacher
- I need to start writing a monthly kids story/booklet. This is where I can combine my 2 passions-writing and kids!
- I need to Focus on kids church ministry
- I need to increase my Bible reading, spiritual books. This is a common trait of a teacher. He/ she reads, questions, investigates and relays.
- As it was obvious teaching was my path I need to take on a course. I prefer Kindagarten teaching because I want to sow "fruitful" seeds from a very tender age. So I need to research TAFE teaching courses.
- And finally the questionnaire concluded 4 main things:
1. I am a perfectionist. I need to stress less!!!
2. I am a teacher.
3. I am a leader.
4. I am an encourager.

And to end the whole "interview" session, I knew that beyond everything else He wants me to teach life, just like His only Son! And that what Imma gonna doo!!!! =)

Wait... Wait... Wait for it...

2010-02-13T14:40:00.002+11:00

Okey so here I am at work and as usual the store is quiet. I'm not complaining, mind you. It's just that though I'm appreciative of the "rest" I can get from working compared to my weekday job, I do feel bad the store doesn't take on any money for the day. And it's not because ofe but because the business centre the store is located. Hardly anyone comesby because all the officea around here are closed on the weekends.

Anyways, that is not the point of my post here. My point is that this morning I prayed that at least I can get 1 sale so at least for a Saturday the store made money. But knowing that today is dark, gloomy and raining outside I knew that it was going to be a bad day-sales wise.

And as the clock is ticking away no one bought anything until.....

Suddenly a lady came in and tried on a few dresses and ended up buying 2!!!

And that to me was only through God's grace over me. I knew that He had especially sent that lady here to make sure His promise of blessing for His children will not fail!!!

Thank you Lord! =)

So be aware and open to whoever or whatever comes your way because it could be the blessing you have been waiting for! =)

Worry yourself away...

2010-02-11T22:14:00.002+11:00

During cell group last night we talked about our futures and sort of things we were worried about. The main jist of the sharings was that we should not be afraid of what our future holds. Whether we're gtaduating uni soon (me) or looking for a new job or simply doing something new in our lives, we should not be afraid.

I learnt last night from the sharings that I should not be afraid. Though I'm nearing the completion of my studies, unsure of what to do next etc. I must learn to not worry and believe that His word and promise to me will come to pass.

It reminds me of God's word for my life through a Pastor a few years ago. God said: don't worry. I am going to write the "notes" in your book of life. You just need to surrender the pen into His hands.
I just keep to keep a positive outlook and trust that in the midst of uncertainty, calamity or even darkness His words will shine and bring forth light at the perfect time!

So don't worry yourself away people!! And never lose hope!!! =)

I still love you...

2010-02-07T22:11:00.002+11:00

I've been having an off day today. It started off with my running late to church and I was rostered to teach today. The day didn't start well. And as the hours went by I felt sick. Kept on sneezing and my nose was constant blocked. A headache was on it's way. I was sweating. I could feel a fever coming on. All I wanted to do was sleep.

During this time the kids had to practice a song they will be singing for Valentine's Day. And there was 1 particular child who did not want to co-operate. He was being quite difficult. I approaches several times throughout the practice without much luck until he finally answered me with "why do I have to listen to you? You're not my mum. You're not the boss of me!!" And that's when I almost cried. (Here's evidence of my 'cry baby' side). But I didn't cry!! But I was hurt! And I paused for a moment as the child looked me in the eyes with a regretful look on hia face. And all I could say was "I know I am not your mother or boss but as long as you're in Kidz Church you must listen and obey all the teachers." And he kept quite. Since that moment he tried to do everything he could to redeem himself. He helped pack the chairs up etc.

The lesson I want to share here is that we often go on about our days without realising that we are "hurting" God by doing "small" undesired and unpleasant things to Him. And because of His everlasting love He reprimands and disciplines us with love. And it is only because of His love for us that He does that.

Just like that boy and I today. I reprimanded him only because I love him and want to see him grow in the correct way. So if God is disciplining you today, if He is "tightening" the belt around your waist remember that He is only doing that because He loves you.

So just behave kids!! =P

Deciphering the message

2010-02-03T21:50:00.002+11:00

I learnt a few very important things from last week's sermon and I thought I'de like to share it here as it has blessed me a lot!
-it stirs God's heart if we give without Him having commanding us first!!!
-God provides for my needs not my lifestyle!!!
-if we understand God's provision then He will surely reward us!!!
-we have to change our lifestyle to fit God's provision in order to reveal His abundance for us!!!
-if you give what you have then God will give you what you don't have!!!

All these things I know I've been learning personally over the past few weeks, which is why it has even more significance in my life and I hope it will be the same for you! =)

Faith that produces!

2010-02-03T21:44:00.002+11:00

Last Sunday the preacher was sharing about his faith and how it brought results for him and his family.

So last Monday I wanted to grasp his faith and practice it in my own life. So when I got up in the morning I prayed and believe and asked, just like the preacher, for blessing and customers. But when I was at work on Monday and it was 1pm, I had made no sales so far. I was down and a little upset. But I just kept on reminding myself of the preacher's message and his faith that brought results. And so I said to God 'I know that if you did it for him, I know you can do it for me!' And I just kept reminding myself of that and soon after that I got really friendly and easy going customers who bought from me!

I was so happy by the end of the day and I just praised God! Because I knew it was only by His grace and love over me!

So start putting your faith into action and let it produce for you!

It maybe small but it may mean a whole lot for someone else...

2010-02-03T21:32:00.002+11:00

I woke up last Sunday and after praying I thought 'hmm... what am I going to buy today?!' I usually buy something new every week from something as small as accessories or as big as shoes or clothes. It's pretty bad since I'm supposed to be saving but I just feel like I need to 'treat' myself after a hard week's of work.

But that morning as I was thinking of what to buy, God interrupted my thoughts and gave me this thought: instead of buying something for yourself (where it will never be enough) why don't you give the money to someone in Indo? But I thought who? And God reminded me of 4 of my aunty's house helpers in Indo. So that day I told my mum to send some money to them, the money I was going to use to buy something.

The lesson I learnt here was:
-learn to give and not just receive
-use your money effectively

Your gift may seem small to you but it may mean a whole lot to someone else. Think about that and begin to be receptive!

Transformed.

2010-02-03T21:13:00.002+11:00

The other week I was reading an article in the SMH titled 'Lives transformed in shadow of death.' It was an article about two drug smugglers and about how their lives have changed since they've been in jail.

As I was reading it it made me feel sad and I felt sympathy for them. The article made me feel as though these people have truly changed. It's strange how something as bad as being in jail can change someone so dramatically. It made me hope and believe that they have made a difference by being in jail. And then a sudden thought came through my mind: we're they doing all this "good" just to get a lenient penalty? That was my logic and media analysis mind questioning but through faith and belief I thought everyone gets a second chance, even if you're a prisoner. I realised there and then that we too are sinners and we are no different to them. The difference is He paid the price for our sins and are now set free. So who are we to judge them any other way. Think about that...

Everything is from Him, so everything is for Him...

2010-02-03T20:45:00.002+11:00

I was asked to work with my manager at the clothing store 2 weeks ago. So far I've never worked with my manager there so when I heard that I'll be working with her, I was quite scared. Scared because I wasn't sure what she was like and I was afraid that she wouldn't like me. As per usual I was doubting myself and my capabilities.

So the night before I went to work I was already nervous but I prayed and just asked or calmness in my heart, mind and spirit.

The next day on my way to work I just kept a positive attitude, I prayed. And throughout the whole day at work everything was fine. I learnt that there was nothing to be afraid of-not even my manager! I learnt that His Spirit was with me the time. I felt calmness and learnt that I don't need to fear humans. The only person I should fear is the Lord because everything I have is from Him and should be given back to Him. I will never be able to "please" and "satisfy" humans but I have the correct mindset-that only God can be pleased then He will surely make sure everything that I do will be pleasing to the human eye.

So make sure you're pleasing the right person!

Reap and you will sow...

2010-02-03T20:08:00.003+11:00

I've been learning a lot lately about giving and receiving. I truly believe in the saying "you reap what you sow." Sometimes you don't fully understand it until you go through it yourself and so this is my own personal story of 'reap what you sow.'

A few months ago (for Christmas) I gave 2x financial offerings to two different Pastors. I was just moved to give them something and without giving it a second thought I "sowed." And a little over 1 month I received a phone call from my college. They asked me to come in and speak to the press about my experiences during my time in college. I agreed to do it since I always try to help out wherever I can because I did enjoy my time in college. And before I hanged up the phone the lady said that I would get paid for coming in. And guess what?! It was the exact amount of money I had "sowed" by giving to the Pastors! I was sooo amazed by God's grace and provision over my life. Not even for a second I thought I would be gaining anything back by giving to these Pastors but truly it was proof to me that the saying 'reap what you sow' is true and to this day it's no longer just a saying but a reality in my life.

So happy sowing people!!! You never know how much or in what way you will reap! It will surprise you! =)

Believe! Just like Peter Pan!

2010-01-17T21:39:00.003+11:00

It was during today's Praise and Worship service at church when I felt the Holy Spirit speak to me about faith, believing and being child like (in certain situations).

I just felt the Holy Spirit over me and speaking about having a child like faith. Believing in the unseen, unheard and the never before thought of. He spoke to me about increasing my faith and to start stretching my 'capacity' for I will experience things I have not thought of, things I have not seen before and things I have not heard of before.

And through all these things I have to remain believing and keeping my faith until everything is completed.

I was also reminded by the Holy Spirit about 'Father and daughter.' I felt like my Spirit was telling me something about both paternal father and Spiritual Father and daughter relationship. It reminded me of my very recent photo with my dad at a wedding (last night). It reminded me of how important it is to preserve a strong relationship with one's father.

So a few things I've learnt today:
- instill and preserve a child like faith. Believe that anything is possible! (Just like Peter Pan)
- No matter what happens ahead your father (both paternal and Spiritual) will always be there
- I need to set my mind and discern in my Spirit that the year 2010 will bring me things I have not heard, seen or thought of before!

So 2010 here I commmmmmeeeee....!!!! =D

The value of shoes is more than just for fashion but it's all about learning...

2010-01-14T16:01:00.002+11:00

12th January 2010 was the day I learnt of my purpose in working at the shoe shop.

All this time(almost 3 months) working at the shoe shop and I hadn't found out what my purpose was being there besides the money aspect. And even then my mum would continually question why I would want to work there when the pay is average.

But I stuck it out. I wanted to stay and find out what God wanted me to do there.

And yesterday I foudn out what it was. I was and am in this job to be a testament to my boss and others around me and to share about Him.

I knew this because I get along pretty well with my boss. We talk about life, politics, the world and nature. We view the world similarly so we have a lot in common to talk about.

And that's when i realised that slowly but surely God is using me to share and be a vessel to spread the good news. And the good news may not necessarily mean preaching the Bible but rather sharing life, sharing wisdom, sharing love just like Christ did for us.

So everyday now when I go to work I know that I'm living and working with a purpose. My question to you is: are you living and working with a purpose each day?

2010: 2nd year of Revayah. So what will this year bring?

2010-01-14T15:55:00.003+11:00

Last year 2009 brought me turbulance, change, refinement, alignment with God's plan, revevlation of God's plan for me and most of all surrenderance and obeidence.

What will 2010 bring for me? As I stepped into year 2010 in prayer and in hope in Jesus Christ, it was revealed to me that 2010 is going to be bigger and better in everything in Christ.

2010 is the 2nd year of Revayah, which personally means for me a year where God starts to open up opportunities for me to start actioning out God's plan and word that had be placed over my life.

SInce last year was the yeah when His word, His purpose, His plan for me was revealed through visions, prophesy and prayers, this year is the year His words come to life in my life.

I'm really excited for what He has planned to do and I hope and pray through fasting as well that I am becoming who He has planned for me to be and not the other way around.

So Father my YOUR will be done in my life just as YOU have planned it to be!

Why can't everyday be a day of celebration?

2010-01-14T15:47:00.002+11:00

So last Sunday I went to a wedding. It was such a beautiful wedding. It represented all that is commitment, love, life, sacrifice, selflessness and joy. But most of all I learnt of God's love for us. I learnt that God had placed these two people to become one and one that special day He had made everything perfect. But more than that it also taught me of God's vow and promise to us His 'brides.' The wedding reminded me of God's commitment-to give everything He has for us. Whatever is His is also ours. Whatever He has promised to do he will do with us and for us.

So whatever you're facing right now don't ever forget of God's love and vow to us. Whatever His promise is to you and I, He will see it through until the end.

Remember, each day is a gift from Him and it's a gift that serves as a collection of God's love letters to us all.

More than just the money

2009-11-24T10:22:00.003+11:00

So I've just started work at a shoe shop, along with the clothing store. I'm beginning to learn so many different things from both jobs. Working at both stores is teaching me humility:
- humility where I'm not just serving "affluent" people but also any type of customers
- I'm learning that if I was to just work at the clothing store I know that I would grow in pride. I'll start to become proud because I know that I can do the job and earn good money.

So working in this shoe shop and clohthing store is teachiing me to serve all types of people with a pure, humble heart.