I have english problems.
So I had a consultation with my tutor about 1 month ago. She told me:- you have grammar problems. You need to see ELSSA.
- you should do TV journalism. I can see you doing SBS or ABC.
- you did a great TV script.
Basically she was very negative towards me!! (in a constructive way)
At that time I was okay with it. I accepted what she said and knew that I had to work on improving.
Now, 2 days ago I went to see her again for another consultation. She said:
- you should take TV journalism next year.
- need to boost your confidence so join the UTS drama club!
- you still need to fix your grammar. And when she said this we were going through my print story assignment, which she said was a potential HD mark but I didn't execute it well and so I just got an okay mark. But the thing was that when she was telling me what I did wrong, they weren't grammar problems. They were more of structural problems, i.e I should put more importance on immediacy. I was sitting there and thinking to myself that what she was telling me was not grammar issues but structural issues, which are two totally different things. I must do something about this!
She gave me a present too. A book called 'Grammar Made Easy' and I was on the bus reading it but I was like 'I know all this stuff!' But my tutor was like 'don't take it personally. You just need to improve!'
I was really trying to pull my chin up and smile through all the things she was saying to me. I knew that the old Stephanie from 3 years ago would have broke down and cried after experiencing the consultation with that tutor. But while I was sitting there with her talking I knew that I was stronger and bigger than this in the sense that MY GOD is bigger than her criticisms!!!
She can say all she wants about me but it won't affect me unless I choose for it to affect me. But I said 'ey, I'm not letting this woman take over my life/dictate to me what is right and wrong.'
And she questioned my abilities in journalism, which made me feel even more uncomfortable! She said 'I don't understand how you can find such great HD potential stories but still be that quiet person?' and another one 'how did you get elected as School Captain? Were you popular in High School?'
And I was like 'WHAT THE???!!! Who are you to be questioning me?! If you don't believe me than just go up to my HS and see my name on the leadership board!'
I COULD BE MAD but I chose to stay calm. I was about to answer her: because it was by God's grace I was elected School Captain. But I felt it wasn't the time nor place to say it.
But I knew that I was bigger than her. I could face my "giants" one by one with His grace on my side. I didn't need to listen to her disbelief in my abilities because she isn't the one giving my life everyday. She is only a person. ONE person!
I'm not going to give her the power to "rule" my live. Plus, I knew in my mind that so far God has guided my path and He has always brought me to green pastures and if I was able to be elected as School Captain (not based on my popularity because I was always the quiet one) I KNOW that I will be a success in every aspect of my life!!!
Encouragement: people can always say things about you and your life but be sure to live your life according to what God says about you and not live by the words of man.
For the flesh is temporary but life with Him is eternal!
posted by tephiee @ 12:14 AM
4 Comments:
Steph..
Grammar problem??
You???
errrr.rrr.rrrrr
hahhaaah
To Ella: are you saying I DO have english problems? HAHAHA!! =P JOKES
To Anonymous: THANKS SO MUCH for your supporting, comforting yet
"hard" to digest words! hahaha... I know you mean well! =)
tephie,
I don't really know the situation, but it looks like your tutor means well (kalo gak ngapain she bothers beliin km buku segala)
mungkin dari pengalaman dia, dia tau dunia journalism butuh orang yg proactive etc... and dia cuma pengen bring out the potential within you...
as she said, "don't take it personally, u just need to improve"
aku berasa kita lumayan mirip, kita tend to kebanyakan mikir and take things lumayan personally (atau itu aku doang ya? hehehe...)
lewat pengalaman aku belajar kalau aku humble myself enough to accept critics with an open heart, (terlepas dari apapun motivasi si pemberi kritik - either buat encourage aku ataupun buat 'jatuhin' aku), kritik itu bakalan jadi useful, it will leads me to have a bigger perspective, to think outside the box...
btw, ya uda bukunya pinjemin aku aja. I think I do have grammar problem. hahahaha.....
Yes, I'm learning alot more to be open with people's critics. They are only there to shape me. It's just that sometimes (and this is the perspective I'm coming from) we tend to listen, follow and dwell in the "critics of other people and forget that He is the one in control on our lives. We tend to focus on the words of man rather than the Words of He who breathes life into me. =)
Btw, bukunya boleh pinjem.. skrg aku lagi pingemin ketmnku. But when he's done. I'll pass it onto you. hehe..
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