randomz-tephiee

Family Feuds

This is the story of my life… So here I am 3 days after Christmas, 3 days after the birth of the beloved Son yet I feel hollow. Empty. Unsatisfied. Disappointed. Sad. Lifeless.

Ponder. Wonder. Think.

Still no change.

All I know is that I miss my home. My city. My country. My Australia. My father (spiritually and paternally).

Christmas 2007 seems so colourless. I know that I should not look for satisfaction from humans but time and time again humans fail me.

Humans including my own mother and aunt!

Christmas this year has taught me not to depend on people. Not to depend on parents.

All will fail. Expect nothing from family but expect all from above.

Only by the grace of God, can I stand on my own two feet.

Through this Christmas, I have learnt that satisfaction and peace can only be found in Christ.

I have fallen into the cracks of misconception. Misunderstanding that spending time with family is worth all my time and efforts of half a year.

Boy, was I mistaken!!!

I’ve learnt to let go of all the smaller “incidents”. But as my holiday is passing me by, it seems as if it a spider web. Knitting a larger and more tangled web of troubles.

Example: My mum loves to put the wellbeing of her nieces and nephews before her own daughters.

When I traveled here, I had to carry a lot of things for her family. Yet when I get here they all misuse us.

They use us (my mum since she had $) to pay for food and accommodation. Like I mean we are guests, you are the hosts, you should show your hospitality to us.

When they come to Sydney, we treat them very well. We take them out.

It’s not balanced!

I guess all these feelings and negativity is rooted from the fact that there are certain family members that I don’t favour very much. And stirred in together with the fact that I miss my home and I miss spending summer at the beach and hanging out with friends, result in me being very sour about the whole holiday idea.

What I have learnt from this is that people, money, countries cannot satisfy your heart. You travel from place to place. You save up your money. You work hard. But you will never be able to satisfy your desire. You will always look for something you don’t have and when you have it, you don’t appreciate. You get bored. You leave it. You look for something else.

But when will this cycle end? When you have traveled to al continents? When you have bought all the branded clothing, shoes, bags? When you have acquired the finest education? And the list goes on.

Along the way, wouldn’t you stop and think where all this is leading to? Don’t you get tired of searching, seeking, discovering?

I have.

But lucky for me, I have found my source of peace, strength, and satisfaction. It is in the God who has chosen me. Who has planned my next step before I even know I am going to do. It is in Him that I know that life is not about the minor offerings that the world offers for happiness, success, or peace.


I know where I stand. Do you?

posted by tephiee @ 10:26 PM