randomz-tephiee

I just want to stick my head in the sand...

After only 3 months into the year 'Revayah' and I already want to stick my head in the sand! Meaning there are so many pressures, instability and uncertainities around me that just urges me to go and bury my head in the sand and wait until it all fades away...

I'm becoming more and more sensitive to the things that are happening around me. It has become more clear since I got back from Jakarta. I've always been known in the family to be the one who is emotional, who cries at every little thing and always defends even the wrong people only because I feel for their situation. I've always thought that it was just because of my nature, a naturally "cry baby" person.

But when I was in Indonesia, God had taught me to "toughen" myself up, taught me the positives and negatives of being an emotional person and most importantly He told me why He made me an emotional person (extremely and abnormally emotional). It's all for me to synmpathize and empathize with people who truly need the attention but my struggle is to know when to stop empathising with a person because it's no longer my place to continue to do so.

I'm a person who grows very attached to people and therefore makes it even harder for me to let go. I know it's my battle that I need to win but because it ties in with my emotions I get very tired and at times I just want to stick my head in the sand wait until it all fades away by itself.

I know that's just another way of me saying that I want to quit the "process" part and jump straight into the result part. That of course will not happen. I need to go through the emotional back flips so then it will help me to know how to use my sensitivity for the goodness of other people and myself. I may not understand how it will come to be but I need to have the perserverance and strong will to keep at it.

My sitiation is pretty strange. I tend to take in other peoples' feelings and lay it on top of my own. And I began to see this clearly when I was in Indonesia, after a Pastor had prayed for me and passed on His messages for me. I knew that I had to go through this emotional rollercoaster because He has plannd something for me that requires my emotional strength.

I guess I'm just trying to say, don't bury your head in the sand just because things are getting tough. Rather stick your head up high and force yourself to look beyond your temporary obstacles and choose to see God's plan coming to fulfillment in your life!

posted by tephiee @ 7:02 PM