randomz-tephiee

What's all the stress for?

I was a total wreck yesterday. I almost broke down last night in my cell group. The pressure of looking for work, not knowing what will happen, not having any plans and starting a new semester at uni was all too much for me.

I wasn't intending to share at cell group but I did and it all come out-my frustration and uncertainty. I think I was so "afraid" because everyone around seems to be doing something and I feel left out, because there is "nothing" I'm working towards because I have no plan.

I was seriously considering finishing my studies and just go into childcare or teaching. I felt strongly that that was my passion but I had to be realistic about my age and the fact that I need to be earning money and not living off my parents.

I guess all that just got to me so I was seriously considering "taking action" and making my own plans. I knew it was wrong because the Holy Spirit reminded me that 'my plans are not His.'

I was so confused last night, I was talking to my cell group leader. She gave me advice-not to do something less than what I'm capable of. She advised me that childcare is a career anyone can do without any "degree" but she reminded me that I will have a degree so don't "shorten" yourself.

I went home "distressed" and spoke to my mum. I told her that I was considering teaching or childcare. I told her that teaching gave me a level of satisfaction more than journalism. She just comforted me and supported me as usual saying that whatever God has planned will happen no matter what I decide.

I asked her to pray for me because I was feeling like there were just clouds and fog in my "vision" and that I couldn't see ahead. I know that God has warned me that He's taking me on a journey where I don't know where I'm going but that He was in control and I just needed to surrender. But I'm learning that I need to be patient because I know myself. I know that when I cannot "see" ahead I start panicking, start thinking and start making plans for myself. But when I do that I know that God is clouding my vision even more. I take a step and then question whether it's right or not because I know that I shouldn't be doing it alone-I need Him.

So this morning I woke and declared that today is a new day with a new provision. I prayed and cried out to Him.
He simply asked: what is your concern my dear?
I said: I'm frustrated and unsure because I cannot see anything ahead. And because of that I'm taking charge and making my own plans but I know it's wrong.
He said: You don't believe that I can bring your through the unseen? If you cannot believe that I will bring you through the unseen then how can you believe in me because I too am unseen.
I said: *speechless* forgive me Lord.

So what I've learnt:
- no matter what journey He takes you on keep trusting Him
- He will always test your faith and see whether you are true to your word
- no matter what path you take, He will provide and keep you on the right track
- never second guess God's plan for your life
- just because God gave you a "vision" it does not mean you have to be "still" no not do anything and just wait for the "vision" to come to pass. Keep doing what you do and He will lead you into opportunities and connect you to meet the right people for aid the fulfillment of your destiny.

posted by tephiee @ 2:42 PM