randomz-tephiee

A whole lot of udgbvlashfxemhflinyriuegcnxfiuerxgruyec in my mind…

These first couple of weeks of College has been mind blowing. When I thought I knew everything about a certain subject such as Communication or Church, I would be surprised, enthralled, shaken to my wits. Every class is different. Every class is challenging. Every class is life defining.

I’m both fearful and also excited to see what the outcome of this year will be for me personally, spiritually, and emotionally and everything in between.

Every day I leave College wondering and pondering and becoming thirstier after God’s heart and will. I guess more importantly I’m more intrigued by how and why He is doing what He is doing in my life. I mean I know and trust in the promises He has for my life but I’m intrigued as to how He will go about it in my life. I know that the larger part of this is on my behalf: how I will obey, how I will respond to His call and word. But in all things it is just making me fall head over heels in love with Him and who He is for me.

I guess I over think as to how God is going to make all these promises happen through my life when really through the little things in my life I’m already experiencing parts of His promises. And that is such an amazing thing! All this time I thought I needed to be somebody first, or achieve certain things in my life before He could use me but really with who I am today, just my faith and obedience is all God needed in order to use me for His greater purpose. And I think that is a great lesson in itself: don’t think too far about how things will happen as long as we believe and obey in Him.

I’m sharing this off experience. When God had put into my heart to invest in a kindergarten school in Jakarta, I never thought of the people I would meet and how I would meet them. I did think and consider how I was supposed to finance this project in the long term but it didn’t stop me. I went ahead anyways in faith.

But now not even a year into the fruition of the school and God has worked wonders and has amazed me! God has teamed me with people who love Him, love His cause and love His people. God has immensely blessed this school beyond my own thought or ‘original plan.’ But that is our God. He will go out of His way to make sure whatever we lay our hands to do, according to His word and will, will always prosper and never fail.

Just yesterday the kids in the school celebrated Valentines Day and they have been blessed with new school sports shoes. God has sent His people to bless these kids and my heart is just full of warmth, love, grace and thanksgiving to my God and to my fellow brothers and sisters who have invested in these kids.

And so I guess if someone asked me who my Valentine is for 2011, I would firstly say: My God, My Jesus but secondly I would say the 30 odd little hearts in the run down village, in a run down community, in a small, shanty town but in a school, in a family and in God’s heart-they are the kids in the kindergarten.

And to finish off today’s post, my revelation for today from God was this:
Being a leader means you have to do what others don’t want to do. You have to fill in the shoes less worn and walk the road less traveled. Because being leader isn’t about me but it’s about others. It’s about my ‘death’ so that there is resurrection of life in others. And God is asking me today whether I would die and live for others?

This came about after finishing my first Personal Leadership class. And I guess in true honesty I am not able yet to answer that question the way God intends for me. But I know that it is a process and a journey and that process and journey begins now as I go through this College year with my God.

I’m excited and I do want to be able to answer that question the way God wants but in honesty where I am at right now I cannot but I have full faith that what God has installed for me this year will surely make me think, speak and believe otherwise and I’m letting Him do that. I want Him to do that for me. I want Him to make me the person He wants me to be so that when I’m “that” person I will be able to answer the above question in full confidence and without any “lies.”

posted by tephiee @ 5:37 PM