randomz-tephiee

Testing my commitment!

So in my last post I was talking about renewing my commitment and walking into God’s plans. Well what a twist of events it has been for me in the past week after writing that post!

So basically I had an interview for a job in my field of interest – media and television. But after coming home from that interview I felt unrest. I knew that I needed to pray about it more. I was twisting and turning regarding this because from one side the job appealed very much to my media interests, and even the (cautious in saying this) ‘old Steph.’ Because I would get to travel, experience new things and work within what I had studied etc. But still that unrest.

When I had gone home I spoke to my sister who comforted me. This was also when the Holy Spirit spoke to me to make me understand the situation.

Basically I troubled about how I was feeling. I was concerned that I wasn’t ‘over the moon happy’ about the job even though I was almost sure they would give me the job. And I knew that when I was having trouble that I needed to sort this out with Him.

So as I sat there talking with my sister, I spoke to God and asked Him. Why do I feel unrest? Is it wrong to take this job? Will this job not take me to fulfilling Your destiny for me? And basically the Holy Spirit answered with: taking the job is not a bad thing. Taking the job will open doors for your career and for you and eventually perhaps lead you into fulfilling God’s plan. But if you don’t take the job you can focus on your recent commitment to God about writing a book, about pursuing Him and eventually fulfilling Hid plan in His way and not your’s.

That was my option and I knew deep down in my heart that I couldn’t live with myself if I had gone about pursuing God’s destiny in my own way. So I knew that I had to turn down the job.

And this revelation tied in very well with all my devotional readings that week that were about (essentially) putting my life into Christ’s hands and trusting Him by picking up ‘the cross.’

This was further encouraged to me through my daily text message devotional from my aunt, which was talking about how to be faithful to God we have to be ready to let certain things go for Him, for He said in one of Jesus’ parables: “come with me” in Luke 9: 57-61. What I had got from this verse was that I wasn’t to be two-minded about my future. I had to decide whether to “let it all go” and take up my ‘cross’ or walk my own path and do it myself.

What also “cemented” my path to choose God’s way and plan over my own and this job was winning the “Kindest Teachers Award” that was nominated by the children! How about that! The children voted me! And not to brag about it but it felt good to know that the kids appreciated and could see my passion to teach and love them! This just topped off everything else in terms of knowing what I needed to do in terms of choosing pursing God’s plan for me (essentially teaching) and my own way (media work).

But of course knowing me, I had to continue “questioning” and asking God for more “signs” that would show specifically what I needed to do if I did not take this job (which they had not officially offered just yet). So Monday last week as I was pondering this the Holy Spirit softly spoke two words: Bible School. And this just brought shivers down my spine but also gave me like a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach, which I’ve only ever felt a few times where God had spoken to me specifically. So this time I knew too that God was leading me.

I decided to Google ‘Bible Schools in Sydney’ and of course the first link I went to was Hillsong Leadership College. I was basically led by the Holy Spirit to read and read and read. As the Holy Spirit led me I read up on the Pastorial stream and specifically Children’s Ministry.

I knew something was brewing and I knew this was the path God wants me to take as the Holy Spirit reminded me of all the previous signs God had given me about going to Bible such as the year 10 career survey that concluded my best occupation was Religious Minister, also God had spoken to me in my last high school year to go and pursue Him and His ministry but I had hesitated and wanted to wait and compromised with Him. I asked Him if I could get a degree first for myself-have something attached to my name that I had achieved myself before letting it all go. And now it’s like God is saying: ok Steph you got the degree now, so where else are you going?

This all God telling me and reminding me that I can’t run or hide from the promises He has for me and the promises I have made to Him. God will seek and continue to pursue me as long as I continue to pursue Him!

Come Tuesday, I received the job offer but with a heavy heart I respectfully turned it down immediately. I knew that I couldn’t mess around with God’s call and timing. And as I had committed myself to Him I was going to stick to it just as Christ did!

Come Wednesday (by now you can notice how I’m very cautious and always want signs to help me decide) I was working when a customer said this: “you have a great voice! You should be in public speaking somewhere on a stand/podium and giving speeches. You shouldn’t be in here!” And I was like “whattt…???” (only in my mind of course) Like this lady did not know who I was or where I’m at in my life but it was like as if she was sent to my shop to speak those words of encouragement that hey God does have a great plan for your life Steph and it involves speaking to people in public!

And to top it all off one of my cousins had given a comment on my social networking site that read: you could be like our uncle (the Pastor). And that further encouraged me as I knew that I had the support and the signs enough for me to do it!

But of course I need to speak to my parents and leaders. I just pray that may God’s will be done in my life because I’m over walking alone and doing things my way. I want to do it God’s way so I can get God’s results!

posted by tephiee @ 5:00 PM