randomz-tephiee

Walking with blind faith!

Before I went off to sleep last night, I prayed. I was in tears already from writing the last post and it continued as I prayed.

It wasn't very clear. My state of mind was unclear. But I knew I had to say it out loud.

I just prayed that whatever that lies ahead of me, whatever it is that awaits me I choose to be obedient and faithful to His calling. No matter how much it may hurt me, I choose to trus Him.
I surrender all of me into Him. I have no control.

I was at peace with my decision and prayer.

I went off to a seminar/talk/expo today. It was a talk by leading journalists/future employers about a career in journalism.

The things they were talking about were pretty much the thing you've already heard in uni.

The only things that struck me most I guess were:
-they advised us to write about things that we are passionate about.
I thought about this for quite a bit. I figured and decided that what I passionately like to write about is about Him and my journey with Him.
-I felt like a shoe that didn't quite fit in.
I was in a hall full of journalists but I didn't feel like "home." I didn't feel like that was where I was supposed to me. I felt like my interest in journalism had started to die away...Slowly and (becoming less painfully) gone... I thought: is this what it means to be 'emptied out?' Is this what it feels like to have all your hopes and dreams taken?
Right now I have nothing. Nothing in the sense that I'm empty. I look forward to the future but I don't exactly know what the future is in terms of my goals/dreams etc. All I know is that I'm headed towards somewhere with Him guiding me through it.

I'm beginning to understand now the whole 'I will be broken' and 'my plans are not His plans' and 'blind faith.'
He's changing the way I see things, the way I perceive things. And I know He's teaching me to see things His way. And I'd rather choose to see things His way than any other way. So I guess in a way there is nothing I should be fearful of, right?

posted by tephiee @ 8:06 PM