randomz-tephiee

I told you it was never going to be easy...

We often hear people support us in times of difficulties by saying 'it's never easy, you have to put in the hard work etc.' And we tend to say 'yes, yes I understand' but really how much of it do we understand? We understand only simply by hearing it or do we understand by the experiences we endure every single day? To me the latter really drills it into my mind - to understand what it truly means when they say 'I told you it was never going to be easy.'

I can't recall if I've blogged about the upcoming changes for the Kidz Church program (where I minister) but to keep you updated: we're undergoing some structural changes to better improve they way we minister to the children. Without going into too much detail the point is this new program means more work, more time, more effort, more commitment and more and more and more of each of us teachers both physically and spiritually.

I'm not complaining about the work or the tasks that are assigned to us because I know that whatever it takes I want to be here (as in this ministry for the long haul) but without me realising I tend to let my "human being" take over and control my Spirit.

I went into this ministry with no big plans just a heart that is willing to serve and after a journey of 3 years I've learnt that this is my passion to teach. I never really thought how much goes into being a teacher but I do now. I never really knew how much my teachers cared about me but I do now. I never really cared if teachers didn't understand me because I wanted things my ways but I understand why know.

Teaching is a very hard thing. To engage and maintain the childrens attention is most difficult physically I think because I put my "body" into this ministry. I do whatever it takes to get them to participate but they only do very little in return. I jump up and down, clap and speak loudly but they respond with soft claps and boring looks on their faces. But even more beyond that which is most difficult is taking the kids on a journey through the Spirit to encounter God. I know that when my Spirit is tainted or disturbed by the influences around me, what I hear or see etc. I know that whatever I do whether it be jumping, dancing, singing, "yelling" it won't change them. They will still be just as they are - "untouched" because my Spirit is being led to "feel" the "disturbances" around me/my situation.

My point is: like right at this moment after going to another meeting with the teachers. My mind is spinning from all the things that still need to be planned, what needs to be bought, prepared etc. My thoughts are full of negativity, hopelessness and doubt. But as I "torment" myself with all these negative thoughts that are non-constructive and hurtful the Holy Spirit is ever so great and sensitive to my needs. He just said: 'I told you it was never going to be easy but if you want the change you've always been talking about you need to go through the process of change first. You know that this is your passion and your calling and just as I have put you here I will surely see you through it. Just do what you can and I will do the rest.'

How comforting are those kinds of words? I mean really when you hear it straight from the Holy Spirit! There's a great difference between reading it from the Bible in "calm" times in your life and compared to the "storms" in your life and you hear those words spoken into your heart. It's like a breeze on a hot summers day or the rainbow after the rain. And all in all all I can say is 'God truly who am I to ever doubt you? Seriously.' If doubt had ever been put down as a crime or a sin against His commandments, I would probably be the first on convicted! But truly I'm appreciative of the gift of His patience because He never punishes me for my doubt but He shows me how my doubt can be turned into great possibilities when I FULLY TRUST HIM!

So whatever it is you're facing right now, it could be that ministry, or that job, or that boss, or your school work just remember that He said 'it's never going to be easy' BUT let Him show you how that problem with His provision will be turned around from a defeat to a victory! =)

posted by tephiee @ 11:09 PM