Work Hard for Your Dreams!
Okay, so I had work for the past 2 days at Mr Balloons. I'm trying to save up my money for either a holiday or a new computer. Still undecided.
While I was working, through the tough and tiring days, one thing occured to me and that was
work hard for your dreams! Right now i have a break from my studies for half a year until I start my 2nd year of uni and so I have been working. During my time at work, I realised that I have to really work hard in uni and make something of myself otherwise I would end up doing what I am doing now - working in a job that I don't really like in terms of long term.
I mean its okay for getting some money but really I don't want to spend the rest of my life working at a balloons store. Inflating etc. so I have come to the conclusion that nothing in this world comes easy. You have to work really hard for it and prove that you are worth it.
Which brings me more closer to my aspirations. More determination in pushing forward with what I want in life. Sticking out through things and situations that are difficult. These things I think have helped me over these few days to clearly set in my mind what I want and how to go about it.
I really have a desire to break my family tradition of working as blue-collar workers. I have grown up in an atmosphere where things come to me through the hard way and for me its time to make a change and make a difference. And I really hope and will work best to my abilities, I guess, to make this happen for me.
So I realise now that all things happen for a purpose. This time that I have now, the break, I guess is a trial for me to really gather all my motivations before I start 2nd year and start slugging it out again because I do know that when things get really tough I start to lose sight of my goals and dreams. But if I have enough motivation and support I believe I am able and can pull through. I hope.
This also reminds me of the time I went to see my HS teachers, recently. I visited them just to say hi and I ended up having an insightful converstaion with my Economics teacher. He told me that you should really work hard and work in an industry/job where your actually happy and excited to come into everyday and especially every Monday. It's pointless to work for a job and be stuck in it when you are now happy and feel that work has become a burden.
To me, that conversation made me realise what I wanted in my life. Whether working in the media industry will make me happy?! And as I run pass my days, running closer and closer to my dream, I realise that working in the communications industry is part of it. To meet people and make connections is also part of it. And everyday I learn something new that will "solidify" the purpose of my dream or my aspirations.
I hope that everyone around me gets the chance to experience these things too, because at the end it will only make you are stronger person who has a clear mind of what they want in life, despite the darkness and ambiguity and uncertainty of the world, there is hope and there is light in your dream.
So Far...
Hmm.. I have missed blogging for a while now. Since my third semester ended, I was hoping to continue to blog but the workload in semester 4 consumed much of my time and hence the result of neglecting my lovable blog! Hehe...
So, what has been happening with me since the last time I blogged?! Hmm..well, alot actually. I am now a garduate of Insearch: UTS. I have learnt a whole lot about myself, my life, my future aspirations, my relationships with my family, friends and most of all God, have changed alot...
Im at lost now as to where to even begin and to make up for all the lost times I haven't been blogging.
I guess I'll start with I have received this year as my goal. When I stepped in the year 2007, I was overwhelmed with the sense of peace, contentment, excitement, anticipations (as always), and security. At the beginning of each year I would always feel afraid and insure as to what the new year would bring, but when the year 2007 stared me in the face, I was compelled with the feeling of positivity.
I don't know what lies ahead of me but I did know that all that I have sewed in the past years I knew I was going to reap in this new year. All the hardwork that I had put in, I felt was going to be paif off this year.
With this "promise" I took it and ran through the beginning of 2007 with confidence and a heart full of hope.
Now, half way through 2007, I have experienced, seen, felt, and treasured little tastes of success and all things great that is just waiting for me in the coming months.
These great things that I have experienced over the past few months include:
1. I have grown to love my Sunday School kids even more. Its like the more time I spend with them, my heart grows larger and larger with warm affection for them. Affection for them to grow into great conquers. To grow into loving citizens of the world. For them to be an impact in their small atmospheres. For them to grow with the hope that amongst the darkness and cruelty of the world, they are the light and they shine through and through...
I know it may sound off or weird and abit wishful of me but seriously, each time I see my Sunday School kids, I deeply believe that they will be greater than all they can imagine. And every time I'm away from them, I feel lost and at times alone because I don't get to teach them.
But I have learnt that with them comes patience, love and care. You may hate them for not paying attention but you love them when they are sad, or have fallen over and scraped their knees, or even just when they come to you and give you a great big warm hug. Hmm...which leads me to my next point...
2. Guys! Strangley enough, I am considered to be a conserved and quite girl but then here I am opening myself to talk about things I am traditionally known to have kept to myself.
I guess, as I said, it is a new year, so I guess its a new Stephanie. Hmm... yes, guys like my Sunday School kids are at worst the most unbearable "creatures" that have roamed this earth, yet are the only ones who can both pass on the feelings of love and hate. You THINK that you are fine without them, but then you FEEL that its ot like turning a light switch on or off. -difficult-
Well, what I have learnt from this aspect in my life, so far, is that everything you experience has a purpose. If you are acquainted with a guy through situations unknown, believe that there is a purpose and if it doesn't work then may be that acquaintance was a character building, where there was a lesson to be learnt. You may realise that you are more attracted to a certain type of guy and at the end of the day, it only helps you to further define the mould of the man you know you want. Hahaha...man, I sound a bit queer just then!
But yeah, that's what I think and I just pull myself through each time with the understanding that I now know what works for me and what doesn't. For example, as you know, I come from an Asian background but I was brought up in a multicultural society, where opinions mattered and relationships between other races was accepted. This is where my problem roots. I have always grown up with the idea that I would only date guys from my background nationality because to me it was much easier. Easier in terms of relating to my family traditionals, customs, etc. But then as they years have passed and my family have actually broken this traditional ideology, as my cousins now date other Asians and Europeans. With this in mind, I have started to change also.
So all in all, this has been a new experience for me where I guess it is also time for my mind and ideologies to change about my "ideal" male. Hahaha.. But will I get dissappointed? Yes, I will! Will it be difficult for me? Yes, it will! But all comes into experience and I believe that along with experience comes maturity. =)
So, my mould of relationships has been broken and now await the time and chance to learn something new with relationships as I believe that experiences can only make me a better person, inside and out.
3. My family. My dear, lovable family. Over these few months, I have learnt to be more open with them. Allow them to know what's going on with me. Through past family experiences, I have learnt that secrets and betrayals have become a frequent feature in my family I have come to the conclusion that it is best to be honest rather than be found out as a liar.
So now, I have taken initiative to talk to my mum about all things in my life. My studies, my future, my career aspirations, my friends, my relationships with God and most of all (as all parents would like to know) my "problem" and acquaintances with guys.
That last point that I have seriously considered as most of the past familial problems have arisen due to this. Now I have sat my mum down and basically been opened to her about everything. Now she and I have a common understanding and trust that I had ever been able to gain with her before.
I see and have learnt now that once your honest life is much easier and more carefree because I feel that I don't have to hide anything. Plus, I think that even parents don't want to create barriers (curfew, chores etc.) if we are honest with them in the first place.
4. God. Over these few months, He has shown me wonderful things that I thought WAS once impossible. He has opened my eyes through experiences in my studies, my marks that has enabled me to really grasp my new year's "promise" and just sprint my way through 2007.
I have experienced amazing things with God, in these past months that just solidify the "promises" I have received for this year. My last semester in Insearch, was awesome. His hands were never far from me. I learnt, through Him, to be more confident and positive about my future despite the circumstances because my past has been a test of trials and my future will be the same BUT my past has also proven to show that through all my trials I have succeed and grown into a much better person.
Aww.. I just feel that each step and each day that passes, with God, just brings me a step closer to the fulfillment of my dreams and aspirations in life.
Hmm... what else?!
I guess I'll keep you posted. Now that I'm back into blogging, I will keep it up to date.
The lady who owned the cafe was Singaporean and has been living in Australia for the past 20 years. When she discovered that my background was Indonesian and I was born in Australia, she gave this one piece of advice. "You should marry well. Marry someone who is educated." With this in mind, coming from a total stranger, made me think about my life. What has education meant to me so far? Well, yes I do believe that everyone should go to uniand at least get their degree but in terms of my future husband "prospects", what are my criteras? Hahaha.. I know it sounds way off, but you this is something that needs to be considered. It affects your life drastically. This is coming from a personal experience.
My dad studied engineering at uni up until his 2nd last year when he dropped out when he met my mother, who dropped out from her HS in year 11. From time to time my parents argue, and hey that's normal, all parents do that. But what's different with my parents is that they argue over very trival things that should not be bothered. As I start to think about why they argued in the first place is that there is a huge difference in their mind sets, which could have been a result of their educational background. Like I'm not trying to offend either side but it just opens my perspectives of the importance of education. If both "parties" are of the same level of education, I think will make things easier. But then again there is the chance of "I am smarter than you" mentality. This goes to show that there is nothing perfect in this world but you do have the opportunity to make the best out of all situations, I think.
Anyways, continuing on... so this lady opened up this conversation with me, which at the end allowed me to think about my life and what kind of "critera", if any, I should have for my "ideal" partner. I guess, I have never really put much thought into it because I guess I believe in "love that conquers all". Hahha.. Lame it sounds, I know. But that's how I thought up until today.
Now I have considered actually "setting" something for myself because I do believe in setting a goal and achieving it, and I guess it can be applied to partners. I know that this may be idealistic for me but hey I believe deep down that God will "direct" me to "the person" but its not wrong to have "standards" I guess. Or is it?!
So as I left the cafe this morning, I came to the conclusion that if I wanted someone who was "educated", as that lady said (sounds funny. haha) I had to start being in company of affluent people, people who I can learn from and grow better as a person. I realise that I can learn from all sorts of people but if I wanted something great in my life, I have to start "associating" myself with the greats!
