Taken for Granted!
Late last week my mum came up to me and told me she had a dream. I didn't really pay much attention until she described to me what her dream was.
She said that in her dream a voice revealed to her that she was going to die in 3 days! *whoa!* I was shocked! I didn't believe it of course. But in my family we believe that dreams are a way of revealing certain things to us. We take dreams seriously as they are a means of communication between God and us. So with this, I was so buggered!
I started to cry and my mum comforted me by saying that it may not be true... Because recently a church friend of ours had died at a young age and my mum had been thinking about her alot... so she may have brought that lady to her sleep. But still dreams like these are not be taken lightly...
At night my mother, my sister, and I prayed... Surrendered everything... and just left it all in the hands of the Lord. My mother, strangely (like giving up hope), prayed that IF she doesn't not make it, she prayed for her future grandchildren... *aww..that made me gush even more!* the sense of unfailing surrender... not knowing but just hoping for the best yet praying for the worst... *tear*
However, I had to pull myself together... so the next day at work I was "terrorised" by this dream... I was quiet and sad all day to the point that my workmates commented on how sad I looked. I was terrified knowing that if it was true that I would only see my mum until the following day...
The end result: I was reminded that at night, when we are asleep, unconscious to the beings of the world, that there is a war between our spirit and evil. I know to you this may sound bizarre, but I know what I believe in. And at times before we sleep we do not pray, the darkness enters our minds and disturbs us with such thoughts and dreams...
It is so that it is important to pray before you sleep.. and to know who you believe and trust in because at the end, that dream was a reminder to me and my family that life is short, don't take things for granted, live life purposefully... do not love your life on earth but love the life that begins after here...
A Childlike Faith!
I recently learnt about having a childlike faith. A faith that never questions, but just follows. Many people already know the story about the boy who had 5 pieces of bread and 2 pieces of fish (John 6:1-14), but I was enlightened with a new perspective.
From this story, I learnt three things: (easily applicable)
1. The child (boy) is
willing to give. He has faith that Jesus would do extraordinary things. The boy knows that once he gives his possessions of the fish and bread, a miracle will happen =
faith. Interestingly enough, the boy is not concerned about the amount of food he is giving, he simply gives. Imagine, how is one supposed to feed 5000 people with only 5 loaves of bread and 2 pieces of fish? This was not question that the boy considered. He just gave it all. Which questions me, 'what do i have?' I shouldn't be concerned about the amount.
2. The boy
takes risks and makes a difference. He takes action and moves. He is not afraid that he is in a crowd full of 5000 other people who may be alot older and woser than himself. But he continues to move forward without any hesitation. The thing is not everyone moves -> everyone knows what the right thing to do is yet not many people take and make the right move because they are ashame or afraid.
You have to fight the good fight because there is nothing for free (except salvation). So
don't hide behind your insecurities because you will never advance! So take courage and take risks because it better than just sitting and playing comfortably.
3. The kid
gives it all. Live your life with passion. Do everything with all your heart, mind, and strength. This shows that you are passionate about something/life.
So possess a childlike faith and be an impact!
Restoration! Where do you find yours?
I have been recenlty tied up at work... I haven't had much time to do anything... and felt tired and bored alot! Its like time passes by so quickly yet its like I don't see what I have done with my time.
Last night I went to a church service.. it has been the first time in many months that I went to church on a Friday night.. and let me to you, it was a challenge! I got home from work at about 5.30pm and church started at 7pm in the city.. there was a moment when I just wanted to stay at home, rest and watch some tv.. plus Big Brother Friday Night Live games were on! But I knew that I needed to go last night.. not just for the sake of it but for my spirit that I guess has died in these past few months..
So I went! I was late but still made it. I didn't know what to expect last night but I just knew that if I spent some time in the presence of the Lord that I would be refreshed and empowered. We had praise and worship. In the worship, just before the sharing, the speaker said to take a moment to just sit and rest in the presence of the Lord. Let go off all the events of the week, all your tiredness etc. Just focus on Him. I did. I just sat there in worship, surrendering all, and just facing Him.
Without realising, I was slowly restored. All my fears were swept, all my tears were dried, all my sorrows were replaced with joy, and all my weaknesses had been changed into strength. I felt revived!
This is when I realised that all the money of this world cannot provide me with the peace and serenity that I find in Christ. Its not work that restores my strength. Its not my family or friends that brings peace in my heart. Its not my money that can dry up the tears that I shed. Its only in the presence of the Lord that I am whole. That I am me.
Its such a reare thing to be able to come to that resolution. I think that people go to the ends of the earth to find such peace, joy, and happiness. Yet what's surprising is that all that can be found in one person and one person only. And that's Christ. I may sound too religious or whatever, but I take this blog as a vehicle where I can express my feelings and thoughts freely. And right now this is what I am feeling and experiencing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I sincerely hope that people do get the chance to find the peace, joy and serenity that they do seek, without harm to themselves or their families. Whether you find that peace and serenity in ways that are unknown, unethical or whatever, I do hope you do find it because I know where I find mine. And I'm keeping it and I'm never giving it up!
Should the Guy Pay for the Date?
This is such an interesting topic! Today, I clicked into my Internet Explorer and it directly diverts me to the
homepage of Yahoo and the headline there was
'should the guy pay for the date?'This topic really caught my attention because personally I admitt I am a bit of a traditionalist in the sense that my perspective is that men should pay... but now that I guess "I have come of age" or just the plain fact that I am more opened to new perspectives.. I think that it should be equal.
I mean when you read this article in
Yahoo, there is a comment about how women have fought for equality yet women seem to turn a blind eye when it coems to paying the bill.. using the excuses of traditionalism etc.
I think that its good for women to be independent and show that they are capable. Its good for women to pay because I think it shows that the women are yeah independent but if men are just "taking advantage" of this, I think is stupid.
In today's society where women are encouraged to step into the workforce and make something of themselves, I think is a sign of a "should-be" evolving mentality and perceptions... I mean we should be receptive and adaptive to the differing situations that arise.. which includes who pays the bill at the end?
I don't mean that women should always pay but at least have a balance.. its pointless and hypocritcal if women fight for equality yet always think and want the men to pay..
That's what I think.. but I'm interested in what you think.. so feel free to post a comment! =)
Labels: men, money, who pays for dates, women
Let Go of Your Insecurities!
A few weeks ago I went to a church service where I kind of thought I knew what was going to happen.. like I mean the usual stuff.. singing and praying and reading the Bible.. But what was different this time was as I was praying, God had spoken to me about
letting go of all my insecurities...A couple of months ago I talked to the advertising director of an Indonesian tabloid magazine about a job placement. He said to just drop by his office and we would talk about it..
Now about 3 months later, I haven't stepped into his office or contacted him.. This is what I mean about insecurities.. I feel that at times that I'm not worth it, I don't have the abilties/capabilties to do a great job... and without realising I'm making boundries and limitations upon my life and my future...
It questions the authority of God in my life and unconsciously this thing eats up in me to the point that it "stunts" my growth spiritually, emotionally, financially etc. And at this church service I was awakened by the notion that there is more to me than these insecurities that have tangled me for so long... I mean God's hand have guided me to unimaginable things such as being School Captain and being a representative for my fellow friends... and I just realise that that is only part of my future.. a future that is insecurity free... it has been given to me yet I still hold back... hold back for what? that I don't even know...
My perspective:
let it go.. its like smoking, cigarettes are unhealthy for your life so let it go... quit! same goes with all other things that are known to "delay", "stunt", "distract" your growth in terms of character, future, education, health and every other aspect in your life that you know is negative and bad... just
let it go because once that cigarette butt is crushed you get to see life in a much clearer light...
My Big Fat...
I watched the dvd "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" last week... As I was watching it I was laughing at something that I hadn't realise was something that was so close to home...
I had always grown up in a traditional, Asian culture where I was not really opened to other cultures besides the occasional multicultural days in primary school. I never had friends sleeping over or going out.. I was much more of a girl who just stayed within the "cultural boundaries" that had been set by my parents...I never questionned their authority or "boundaries" and I never tried to stray away... but now as maturity has turned its time on me.. I realise that each culture is not as different and strange as another..
As I watched this dvd, I realised that both the European culture and the Asian culture do share alot in common..For one both cultures practically shove food down guests' throats as they enter one's homes.. at this point my mother had joined in and laughed at the distinct similarities of both cultures...
My parents are traditionalist, and old fashioned. They always keep to themselves but as my mother watched this dvd she was more opened to the relationships of inter-culture. From my perspective, this is a huge step. My family are very closed and reserved when it comes to other cultures but I think that as society advance so does the persepectives of some parents...
This has become evident in my family as some of my family members have "looked" outside the set cultural boundaries... I mean, when I was young, I would say to myself "Steph, no way are you going to step outside the "Asian" boundaries" and for a certain time in my life I was "faithful" to that... but now as my cousins have also grown out of this restricted mentality, I have now questioned what I want?!
My eldest cousin has currently been dating his Korean girlfriend for mroe than 2 years... I know that it still falls into the "Asian" culture but its hilarious in my family when things as these occur.. for one our language barrier is a bit of a problem but I think that as "the love grows" all else fails..hahhaa.. I know I sound a bit emotional but its true... my aunts and uncles who were adamant about this culture thing have now grown to love and care for her to the extent that we have considered her as a real family member...
I guess this just goes to show that at the end you might now know what the future holds but what is certain is that relationships is not determined by what code you speak in (except the code of english and I guess the code of "love"hahaha), what clothes you wear, or what background you come from.
When I ponder this thought, I remember of my aunt who is married to an Australian. They are both devoted to the differences and similarities of each other and I just think to myself how that is possible?! I mean its hard...at the end one of them must "subside" their own culture just to "fit into" the other but then I think back and realise that, as I said earlier, its not determined by a code or dress code.. its determined by something that is so much larger than us, you or me...
My perspective on this: learn to be open.. others are not as different to as you may first think they are... you may be surprised at the similarities, which do make you unique yet alike in a common understanding...
Dream is Not Measured by Circumstance!
A friend of mine from HS recently messeged me about one of my blog posts..(Jake) I haven't posted for a while because: one, i knew people wouldn't read it and two, I was just getting lazy... But after reading the message from my old friend I realised the importance and the effectiveness of blogging.
I have alwayed had an interest in meeting with people and sharing ideas and views and I have realised that though not many people read my blog, there are still some people reading it and who can actually relate to me and my situations..which now motivates me more to get serious about blogging and sharing the events in my life.
So recently, after reading the message from my HS friend, I pondered with my thoughts and came to the conclusion that
dream is not measured by circumstance. My friend, Jake (hope your reading this), was replying to me about my post and I realised that dreams are the start of all things big and great.
His message reminded me of my last year in HS, in year 12, I went around to all my friends and wrote in their year books...I wrote "special" comments to each of my friends that I had seriously thought through... and I just thought to myself that one day I hope to see these "comments" come true... and now having not contacted Jake in like 2 years, not knowing what he has been up to.. makes me realise that dreams extend and create your future...
I remember when I was in the library. I was reading a book when Jake had walked in. We were taling as per usual, but what was different, even until I remember this moment vividly, was we shared a conversation that to me was deep, meaningful, and life-changing, in a way...
There was a scholarship coming up and students were allowed to enter it. We were talking and I had encouraged Jake to apply. He was reluctant at first but at the end decided to go for it..
Jake and I weren't very close as friends throughout HS but in my last year of HS I felt as though as he and I shared some things in common. We both had great dreams that we wanted to achieve yet we were both "small" people in the sense that we had to really work to prove that we are different to what people forsee us to be. Even up today, Jake might not know, but I felt most comfortable talking with him in HS and related most to. (Jake, now you know!)
I also remember that when I wrote in my fellow friend's year books that one day I would see them again and envisage them to be greater than they were that day in HS. Now looking back, 2 years later, having contacted Jake again, I realise that he is now walking in the steps of what I had always seen that he could do.
I mean that may not make sense but now that I hear that he is in a good course, loving it, and actually making steps in fulfilling his dreams, makes me realise that its possible.. its possible to dream big and to make things happen..
Jake, if your reading this, this post is for you... keep up with everything thats going on.. things that do happen for a reason.. a reason that you may not be able to see now but have meaning... your message and comments and friendship to me surprisingly motivates me about my future and my dreams... to see you know walking in the footpath of your own dreams makes me remember about our conversation in the library and also to make me see that
dreams are not measured by circumstances...I realise now that we should not look back into out past, into our background, our education, our family... alot of great people have been born from background that are uncertain yet that did not deter them from fulfilling their dreams.. what matters most is how your past will help you be stronger in the present and to make a clearer and tangible future...
So like I said in the year book, dream big... have an unlimited vision of the future... you are now walking the small steps of a greater, bigger, brighter future...
P.S: Jake remember the song "Gold Digger" by Kanye West? that song still cracks me up when I hear it..hahhaha...
