Just random.
"God's heart is my cause." (Chapel Friday 18th Feb 2011)
There is meaning to mess. Think of a road construction site and all its inconveniences. It causes nuisance now but creates great buildings later. So when there is a mess in your life now don't stress over it but chose to see that the end product is beautiful.
God's Word, my execution, His plan, my obedience.
In my Old Testament Introduction class today, I learnt a few things:
- We are supposed to "look like" the Word everyday. Let's not look into our wardrobe to look for what to wear in the morning but let's look into the Word of God to see what to "wear."
- Don't just learn at the expense of practising. As we learn we must practise it.
- God's plan has nothing to do with me. But because of His grace He included us in His plan.
- Our plan is only a slice of His greater plan. Hence don't stress out! Let Him do His 'thing' in us.
Understanding simple things such as these helps me know and understand what God is doing in my life and how I should respond to every season that comes.
Shout it!
At my first Sisterhood, Pastor Bobbie Houston today at the re-launch of Sisterhood, she talked about shouting 'it' louder. Whatever that 'it' is we need to do more, make it clearer, more precise etc. She also talked about moving from strength to strength, and also whatever the conviction that God has put in us we have to live it, speak it louder, whether that be a destiny conviction, let's stir God for it and don't turn back.
This really resonated in my heart and I step into a new year, a new journey with God and to neevr lose sight or lose focus because I need to step it up this year. I need to shout it!
Wooooooooo....
Walk in their shoes Steph.
This morning I went to my first official Sisterhood Gathering. And part of my College experience I am on the Pampering team. It's great!! Our job is to paint nails, give massages and hair style women just before the Sisterhood service starts. Now that is all the "exterior" elements but the interior elements is equally important if not more.
It's awesome because it's a time to get to know these women, encourage them, inspire them, place value on them and just help them see that they are loved and valued. And this stems only from love, honesty and relationships.
I feel that I'm really learning so much from being on this team. I'm learning to love and appreciate people more. I'm learning to be a great listener. And in doing so I'm walking out God's ministry. And I'm loving it! I've found that being on this team and doing what I'm doing I'm doing what Jesus wants me to do-to serve, to love, to appreciate and to listen to people.
I pray that God just extends more of Himself in me, extends more of His character and heart in me as I continue this College journey. Awesome!!
Read, re-read and read it again until you can visualise it
So during my devotional today I was reading over the notes I had taken during a sermon at last year’s Youth Service. To be precise the sermon was on the 31st October 2010 and was shared by my Pastor’s son. He was sharing the Word of God from Matthew 20:1-16 about The Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard.
As I was reading the above passage, I tried to implement the skills learnt from yesterday’s Personal Leadership Lecture, which was trying to visualise and putting yourself into the context of what passage or verse you’re reading from the Bible. So with this in mind as I was reading Matthew 20:1-16, God gave me this revelation: Jesus is looking for and “collecting” people to do ‘the work’ because the vineyard, harvest is ripe and ready. But the question God posed in my heart was: are His people ready? Are His people ready to do the work? Because Jesus is looking. He is looking for people today, right now to respond to His greater call. His call to be bigger than you can imagine. His call to be a blessing for others. His call to be the voice for the unheard. His call to be the hand for the unable. Are you ready?
Also, when He has found those who want to do the work, so say for example those already in the ministry or who have followed Christ for some time now and are starting to grumble with complaints just like those in the passage about pay. To us today it may not always necessarily mean pay, money or wages but something like recognition from our leaders or from the ‘big guns’ for all the hard work we’ve done. Well what God is teaching me here is that Jesus, as he said in this passage, ‘Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius?’ (v. 13) Here God is saying that I have told you from the beginning that this is what will happen, this is how much I will pay you, do you want it or not? And that is translated into our lives today by: the work ahead is tough Steph, there will be a lot of hard work, plenty of sacrifices. Will you still do it anyways?
Here I learnt that as I have agreed to do the work, I will learn to accept everything that comes with it even when at times I think I want to grumble because I know the greater picture and the greater reward, which is also in the same verse, verse 13 that God will fulfil His promises to us. Like Jesus promised to the workers in this passage of payment of 1 denarius per day, it is the same to us. Whatever God promised us He will give and reward us He will surely fulfil it not because of our effort but because of His grace this abounds much in us. I understand that we often complain because of the unfair payment between the workers but look at it from the perspective that this passage isn’t talking just about the workers’ effort but the workers’ obedience to God’s call and that God does fulfill every promise and keeps to His word. And that is what I learnt most from reviewing this Scripture, that God’s reward for me is not based on my effort but based on foremost God’s grace that is translated in my response to God’s calls.
Is the microphone on?
My classes at Hillsong International Leadership College have challenged me, inspired me, kick my ‘backside’ and really opened up new perspectives.
I am surprised every time I leave the classroom and feel challenged and inspired. When I enter a classroom or go into my tutorials and lectures thinking I know what I’ll be learning in my class, God seems to test that and just make me laugh. Laugh, not in the mocking kind of way but in the inspiring and challenging kind of way. Because if you have not known it yet, and you will trust me, you will see that God always has something for you to learn and for you to grow from. It doesn’t matter if you think you know everything about a certain subject, He will challenge and inspire you even further.
I’m sharing this from my experience in class today. Today we had our first Public Speaking and Presentation tutorial and coming into class today I was thinking ‘this’ll be an easy peasy class. I know pretty much everything there is to know about Public Speaking having already been a High School Captain, undertaking Public Speaking classes and also completing a Communications Degree.’ But nope! God challenged and inspired me with new revelation during this class. He impressed into my heart this: the fact that the TRUTH is in me, God’s Word and His message for His people is sufficient enough for me to overcome my fears and insecurities of speaking in public. How awesome is that?! When we begin to realise that public speaking isn’t about us but about God, His message and His people, we will be at ease in delivering His Word. We won’t be overwhelmed by our nerves, our inabilities, our weaknesses but we realise that God’s greater call for us – to spread the Gospel isn’t about us but about Him and His Spirit moving in us, within us and through us.
This really changed the way I looked at Public Speaking. I know now that it isn’t about my limitations but it’s about God’s purpose through me for the people. And that is enough for me to not get “twisted” the next time I’m asked to speak in pubic.
A whole lot of udgbvlashfxemhflinyriuegcnxfiuerxgruyec in my mind…
These first couple of weeks of College has been mind blowing. When I thought I knew everything about a certain subject such as Communication or Church, I would be surprised, enthralled, shaken to my wits. Every class is different. Every class is challenging. Every class is life defining.
I’m both fearful and also excited to see what the outcome of this year will be for me personally, spiritually, and emotionally and everything in between.
Every day I leave College wondering and pondering and becoming thirstier after God’s heart and will. I guess more importantly I’m more intrigued by how and why He is doing what He is doing in my life. I mean I know and trust in the promises He has for my life but I’m intrigued as to how He will go about it in my life. I know that the larger part of this is on my behalf: how I will obey, how I will respond to His call and word. But in all things it is just making me fall head over heels in love with Him and who He is for me.
I guess I over think as to how God is going to make all these promises happen through my life when really through the little things in my life I’m already experiencing parts of His promises. And that is such an amazing thing! All this time I thought I needed to be somebody first, or achieve certain things in my life before He could use me but really with who I am today, just my faith and obedience is all God needed in order to use me for His greater purpose. And I think that is a great lesson in itself: don’t think too far about how things will happen as long as we believe and obey in Him.
I’m sharing this off experience. When God had put into my heart to invest in a kindergarten school in Jakarta, I never thought of the people I would meet and how I would meet them. I did think and consider how I was supposed to finance this project in the long term but it didn’t stop me. I went ahead anyways in faith.
But now not even a year into the fruition of the school and God has worked wonders and has amazed me! God has teamed me with people who love Him, love His cause and love His people. God has immensely blessed this school beyond my own thought or ‘original plan.’ But that is our God. He will go out of His way to make sure whatever we lay our hands to do, according to His word and will, will always prosper and never fail.
Just yesterday the kids in the school celebrated Valentines Day and they have been blessed with new school sports shoes. God has sent His people to bless these kids and my heart is just full of warmth, love, grace and thanksgiving to my God and to my fellow brothers and sisters who have invested in these kids.
And so I guess if someone asked me who my Valentine is for 2011, I would firstly say: My God, My Jesus but secondly I would say the 30 odd little hearts in the run down village, in a run down community, in a small, shanty town but in a school, in a family and in God’s heart-they are the kids in the kindergarten.
And to finish off today’s post, my revelation for today from God was this:
Being a leader means you have to do what others don’t want to do. You have to fill in the shoes less worn and walk the road less traveled. Because being leader isn’t about me but it’s about others. It’s about my ‘death’ so that there is resurrection of life in others. And God is asking me today whether I would die and live for others? This came about after finishing my first Personal Leadership class. And I guess in true honesty I am not able yet to answer that question the way God intends for me. But I know that it is a process and a journey and that process and journey begins now as I go through this College year with my God.
I’m excited and I do want to be able to answer that question the way God wants but in honesty where I am at right now I cannot but I have full faith that what God has installed for me this year will surely make me think, speak and believe otherwise and I’m letting Him do that. I want Him to do that for me. I want Him to make me the person He wants me to be so that when I’m “that” person I will be able to answer the above question in full confidence and without any “lies.”
... Possibly another book ...
As I was chatting with my mum last night God put this desire in my heart along with wisdom to write a book. A book that compiles the stories of my 12 (11 excluding my mum) aunts and uncles and their journey to responding God's call over their lives according to their characters and temperaments.
I'd like to interview and investigate how they responded or not repsond when God calls. I think that this is interesting given that all 12 of them grew up with a father who was a Pastor and a mother who was very family-oriented. I think this will be interesting because they are all unique individuals, with very different and 'colourful' stories of their journey with God.
And I guess at the end of the day with this book I hope to achieve this: God's calling for our lives is "colourful", it comes in different forms and shapes. But the most important thing is to eventually knowing what His call is and doing it until completion. Now these 12 have not all reached completion because they are all still alive but the point is that whatever path we take make sure that the path will lead us into God's destiny. That's what matters. Some of the 12 had it easier than others, their walk was more 'light' but there were others that took the highway to the get there. But as long as they get to do some part of God's destiny then that's better than nothing.
I just hope to stir people to see that doing something, even if it's through the hard way, is better than doing nothing and being comfortable!
Have I told you my mum is my bestfriend?
Last night I had a 3 hour chat/talk/discussion with my mum. It was awesome! We talked about family, God, destiny, future, desire, life partner. Most of all we talked about God's calling over my life. Like I said in my previous posts about my doubts about my future because of my decision to go into ministry, last night's talk with my mum just settle those nerves down and just trust in God alone.
As we were sharing I remember God speaking specific messages for certain people, why things are the way they are and how they came to be. I really felt that last night God was sharpening my sensitivity to His voice, His Spirit and to his message. I felt that God impressed into my heart that this is what it is going to be like - God speaking message to me and I would pass them onto to the relevant people. And I'm just going to be ready for it. Of course my mind was a little scared. Scared of 'what if I'm wrong and I'm just hearing things?' But I knew I had to press on. And true enough God's impression and message from last night for my aunt was true.
Now I'm not saying that I'm a weirdo or anything but I'm just saying that God is a communicator adn He will from time to time use His children to communicate message to His other children.
Anyways, I discovered from last night that really my mum is my bestfriend. She knows me more than just from a mother perspective and I love and respect her for that.
She is a mighty warrior of God who praises and worships God and always prays. And I just hope that I will be like that too when I too have my own family. (She's currently feeding me melons as I'm typing this post!!) *love*
Chapel Revelation
During chapel yesterday it was mind blowing! During the praise and worship that was off the roof, God said this to me: 2011 is the year you will be changed. I will change you from the inside out. You will be transformed to the point that you are ‘unrecognizable’. I am changing you to become the person I want you to be and this will ‘shock’ you and even those around you because of this change but know that I am changing you for good. Just like in Luke 5:36-39 about the old and new wine skin that is you this year. So don’t be scared when you won’t recognize yourself after 2011, says God. Just enjoy this journey!
Deathly doubts vs. flourishing dreams
After Orientation and Enrolments into Hillsong College, after the “pump” factor had subsided and the reality of what it means to be in ministry, the reality of what I’m doing began to sink in, I began to feel scared and started to doubt. Not doubting God’s call or who God is but doubting my future. And beginning to question how my decision to go into ministry will support my future.
But at my Friday night church service my Pastor read out this verse in
Hebrew 10:36 which read:
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.That verse resonated within me. It spoke to the heart of my concern, the heart of my doubting. God said specifically that I need to keep at it and keep moving further into His plan and will because when I’m doing His will I am receiving and fully experiencing all His promises to me.
One of these promises is to travel. God knows deep down in my heart that traveling is one of my greatest desires. (And He has specifically spoken to me and through specific messages from Pastors that I will travel.) But (human side of me) I thought that by going into ministry and fulfilling God’s call over my life is in turn stopping me from traveling. And I got scared of that. I got scared. I’m scared of losing my dream as I am pursuing God’s will. But this verse is reminding me and us that when we pursue God’s will we don’t lose our dreams but rather it is God’s call over our lives that will take us into fulfilling all our dreams and beyond. So think about that the next time you doubt God’s will and your dreams.
