Brings back memories and an inspired heart...
When my Assistant Team Leader asked me to send her a slide show of my kindergarten school in Jakarta, I didn't think much of it. I just thought, yes I can do that. I've got video documentation that can help with this slide show. But what I didn't realise was how much I really miss the school, the community, the parents, the teachers and also very much the children.
So the story is the teachers in our ministry in Sydney are organizing a fund raiser where the children will be asked to raise the money through their creativity. And my Assistant Team Leader wants to research some initiatives that can be presented as ideas for the children to choose which one to fund raise for. So my kindergarten school is one initiative the children could choose from to fund raise for.
And so when I started compiling the materials together (a slide show of video, sound and text) I began watching the video documentation that I had recorded myself last year in July, it brought back a rush of memories. With it also a reignited passion and an inspired heart to keep doing what I'm doing now because God has placed me here for a reason. The reason being for these children and God's Kingdom.
So if you're facing some "grey" days right now and need some inspiration or a reignited passion for your call and journey, just look back what God has initially called you for. Talk to the people who have started this journey with you. Pull out documentations (notes, video, photos, etc.) that record your journey and call. It''' inspire you to see and believe that you are on the path you are meant to be on and know that in it God is in it and there with you. Don't get weary, don't get down or tired. There are other people's eternity attached to our decisions to get inspired and to act and to do something. Let's do it!
Available to love.
Blog Thursday 12th May, 2011
Met a lady who was a writer like myself. She's been in the writing industry for some time now. We talked about God, life, journalism industry and we really connected.
She opened up and and we shared our stories. It was really awesome because she was the experienced writer who has been in the industry for a while. And I'm the "newbie" but our perspectives had been aligned.
I really learnt this morning that God will connect us with people for encouragement, support, prayer. We don't know what God has in plan but we need to make ourselves available. Available to bless others because there are many out there who just need us to be available to give, to listen, to love.
...It'll cost you this much...
Got to work and there is news my Monday shift maybe cut because of new management trading hours. At first was really upset and scared about not having the money. After reflection and asking God about why this is happening particularly after today's Personal Leadership class about "Staying Fresh" God answered my prayer. God knew that I couldn't go on functioning just as I am now with almost 4 work shifts a week, full time study and ministry. And on top of that 'stay fresh'. It was all too much and I wasn't focusing on my health-spiritually, emotionally and physically. I want to exercise, I want to read books, I want to maintain relationships but I never have the time.
So I had my concerns about today's classes because I wanted to 'rest' and spend more time on the things important to me and to God's purposes but I also needed the money. And after the news from my acting manager, it seems God has answered!
With cutting my Monday shift, I have time to relax and re-focus. But my income will still stay the same as my Sunday shift is double hourly pay.
I learnt to fully trust God. And I know that today's Chapel Revelation meant my finances. What if God asked me for what I hold dearest too? Will I still give it? I'm learning now to surrender all to God for all His purposes, even if it'll cost me. Because I know what costs me now will only benefit me and my generations later.
What will it cost you?
Chapel Revelation Tuesday 10th May 2011
We sang "Awakening" and there's a line: 'let your will be done in me.'
As I sang that God challenged me and asked: what if My will will cost you Stephanie? Cost you dearly. Cost you what is precious to you? Will you still want My will to be done in you?
This really caught me! Because at most times we pray for God's will to be done in us but often we ourselves stop or hinder God's will to be done in us because we don't want to pay the price. We tend to live a life that always wants, wants, wants. Society teaches a mentality of receiving. Let's upturn this so that God's will is done, really done in our lives!
Make it count!
Last night in my cell group, I shared with my friends about what I had been experiencing these past few weeks – all the challenges and struggles. As I was sharing it the Hoy Spirit explained to me how this was a “furnace” period for me and how during this “challenge” God is only trying to mould me into the design He originally had in mind for me. I believe that through this “furnace” time it only intensified my passion, my desire and my love for my ministry, God’s people and the church. And I believe that was the goal God had in mind for me.
Obviously as you can read from my previous posts, I had been struggling but with this new perspective that I’m in God’s “furnace” for a moulding period then it really encouraged me to keep striving and not letting go and giving up in the “furnace”.
This was really the heart of God’s message for me during this time even more so as I was reading my devotional last night. I was reading Ecclesiastes 11:1-6. It was here God spoke to me about:
-life changes, there will be things happening and I won’t have control and can’t plan it but I need to trust God in it.
-I am blessed to be blessing. What I have in my hand is not mine but it’s God’s so when God asks for it, I should have no reasons to say no.
But above all these things, I learnt most from these verses that today, right now, this moment could be the last time I can do something for God so I must have the most of it.
This last point has really resonated with me for some time now. I feel the Holy Spirit telling me that with my ministry, my work, my family and friend, etc. that I have to do what I can and everything I can for God because there may not be a second chance or another time. I ‘m not sure why God is saying this but I’m sure that my response to it needs to be that of an urgency and seriousness in all that I do and in doing so making sure that all that I do is with purpose and only accounts for significance to God.
My encouragement from this post is: don’t let time pass without making it count towards God’s cause. Keep in mind that in all we do do it with an eternal purpose attached to it. People may not repay you but God’s rewards surpass it all.
Into the 'furnace' you go...
I was in my cell group tonight and sharing about what's been happening with me lately. All the "challenges" with workload etc. Everything I've been "struggling" with these past few weeks.
But as I was sharing this God was teaching and telling me that I'm currently in a furnace. A furnace where God is continually refining me to be better and "sparkle" (not in a prideful but humble way). I believe that God is teaching and instilling in me a greater passion, love, value and significance into my ministry!
And because I now understand why God has purposed me for this 'furnace' I can better manage my responses to people and situations. And that is real important!
Jumping words...
We were in our Old Testament class and was asked to take some time to meditate on some verses and see/hear what God is revealing to us.
We looked at Psalm 15 and Psalm 24:3-6. This exercise was really interesting for me since I love reading and delving deeper than the surface. So I really tuned my eyes and ears to the moving of the Holy Spirit.
And this is what happened...
In Psalm 15 God revealed:
-the word "dwell" => to be in Your sanctuary. (Literally) But metaphorically and personally God is saying that "dwell" means to a "private" place with God, my bestfriend
-the word "live" => there is access to all of God's "heavenly things" when we obey the commands of this chapter.
-and because of our commitment to these commands God's promise to us will never be shaken.
In Psalm 24:3-6 God revealed:
-verse 3 => God is almighty, Holy and big. The word "ascend" means there is work and effort that needs to be made in order to meet with God and to be with Him.
-it also says that because God is so holy who can be in His presence? Only those who can ascend and "meet"/fulfill the requirements of Psalm 15.
-verse 4 => those who follow these commands can ascend the hill of God.
-verse 5 => this outlines the rewardsfor ascending the hill of God.
-verse 6 => this is how our "makeup" should be as God's generation who seek His face.
This was an amazing class exercise for me as it really heightened my sensitivity to God's Spirit and what He wants me to learn and share. I'm really excited about it!
Watch what goes into your mouth!
In today's tutorial class we talked about healthy living and how that impacts our journey with God and our ministry.
A couple of key notes that really struck me during the tutorial were:
-the spirit and the body cannot be separated. That is why both need to be balanced. It is my responsibility to be attentive to both and not just the spirit side. I need to listen to what my body is saying because...
-a healthy body = maximising God's plan and purpose in us for generations to come. When we live physically healthy, it'll eliminate sickness (unless Godly designed for other reasons) and there is a greater chance to do and see God's plan in us be fulfilled.
-healthy living = going the distance for God.
And finally but most importantly, which really resonated within my spirit was this:
healthy living is not just about me but it's about the otehrs around and most importantly the generation that is to come. Being healthy now will reap it's rewards in the next generation's bearnace of great fruit.
This really intensified my passion and value for my ministry!
Going the Distance
Yesterday's Chapel Sermon was so timely and impactful for me and my current situation. It was about "Going the Distance." The title itself is quite self-explanatory But the main points were:
-there is no alternative, there is no quitting.
-we dictate the atmosphere and not be influenced by the atmosphere.
-when we're running on the "treadmill" let's not lag but be fresh.
All these above points refer to how my attitude and outlook should be towards my ministry and workload.
Further main points that struck a cord in me include:
-we need a series of decision internally that will allow us to finish the race. There is no point in starting if I won't finish. And this is related to the Youth Service message last week, it was preached that god would not start something in us that He will not finish Himself in us.
-if you're not running to win then don't run... Bearing in that that when we do run we don't run for competition sake but because we run in the life that Jesus gave us to live.
And example of this "Going the Distance" is seen through the life of Samuel. He continued to serve the Lord and led the people all the days of his life. Not just some days when he felt like it, but all days he served the Lord.
A thought to ponder: do you think Jesus was exhausted when He was carrying the Cross?! After being whipped to "death" and facing death He still carried on anyway because He knew He had to finish the mission.
How does this effect me?
Well I learnt that I have to serve and lead all the days of my life, not just on some days or on good days but on all days.
It's not an option to not turn up to my "work" because there are people relying on my contribution. The thought of my ministry, my children, the next generation, the ROCKidz make me turn up! If we don't turn up then something happens to the "link" of Abraham and Isaac that is passed down unto us.
And with this there were a couple of things to regularly do:
-rely on God always
-offer yourself into a personal devotional relationship with God
These reminded me of how I need to be able to sustain myself in my ministry and in my call and continue going the distance.
This message really changed me!
Catch uppppp... Sunday 1st May 2011
I was doing my devotional and was encouraged by the message: "Not knowing it all". It talks about being still and enjoying God's presence all the time. What stuck to me the most about this message was how we unknowingly revert to works to 'earn' God's favour. We actually miss out on what the Lord is trying to teach us - that He wants us to be still and enjoy being in His presence regardless of what we're going through. The Father of all creation yearns for relationship with us and enjoys being with us.
This message taught me a few things:
- 'earn' God's favour -> there is nothing for me to add. He wants to give it to me and in that there lies my significance (relate to Birthday message) and in knowing that my significance is from God it eliminates any fear in me and all I need to do is be still in His presence all the time.
- yearns for a relationship -> lately as I've been experiencing an emotional journey that God is teaching me about how He wants me to depend on Him always through a relationship!
And finally, at the Youth Service last night I was challenged by this thought:
So what will be the last thing I do before I meet Christ? Will I be caught outworking God's purpose for my life or will I be simply doing something else worth far less than God's purpose?
Catch uppppp... Saturday 30th April 2011
It was Saturday night - 10pm and I was doing my devotional time and it was about strength in the Lord. I read Ecclesiastes 7:3-9 where it encouraged me that God alone was my strength.
And just a moment ago before my devotional time I was looking through my schedule and seeing my workload. I was overwhelmed... To the point I was a tad stressed. But this devotion encouraged and strengthened me... God doesn't want me to burn out... He
just wants me to rely and depend on Him to get the work done... And that's what I'll do!
Catch uppppp... Thursday 28th April 2011
On this date I went to Sisterhood and was serving on the Pamper Team when I met 2 ladies. One lady had blessed me with a book called "The Voice of the Martyrs: Heroic Faith". I was massaging her hands when we got to chat about God and life. We got talking and I shared with her about my passions for Indonesia and she just simply gave me that book. Very kind and encouraging of her!
The other lady I was serving was lovely! We chatted and she was very friendly! I was really blessed that morning to be a blessing...
Catch uppppp... Saturday 23rd April 2011
I got to spend this day with the children I usually teach on a weekly basis. Their parents were in a Seminar and so I was with the children. The set up was very cool-more like a cell group setting where we have Bible quizzes, sharing time, activity and games.
I really got to appreciate each and every one of these children as I got to know them more-a different side to each. I learnt that these children have described how they want to be a doctor-to help people, to be an actor-to make people laugh. I also learnt how some are natural born leaders and some are natural observers.
But in all things I got to learn and see how God loves all of them and has a special future for them and my task is that as long as I am around it is my responsibility to sow seeds and allow them to grow in these children.
Catch uppppp... Tuesday 19th & Wednesday 20th April 2011
This week I learnt a few things from class, which really spoke to the heart of my situation and pressures of this week, which I journalled. They included my Public Speaking class where we were learning about managing negative feedback. I learnt here that I needed to sort through my feedback and response to these pressured situations and ask myself whether it is God’s purpose for me to be stressed. And realising that it is not God’s purpose for me to be stressed and because of that He will give me the strength to overcome it. This also encouraged me as I was reminded of Duncan Corby’s preaching at last week’s Chapel about balance in work.
I also found that this week when I struggle with ministry, I probably shouldn’t say ‘struggle’ but more of ‘challenged’ by my ministry as many people rely on me to get things done. And being the “perfectionist” that I am I always do the best but end up finding myself in “knots” because I can’t keep up. But God is great! In this week’s Old Testament class we learnt about Moses and his leadership and why he didn’t enter the Promised Land. This really got to me because at my current situation where so many people require my attention (hence informally positioning myself as a leader) and it seems people around me want so much from me, it is important to keep in line and focussed on God’s instructions. Because I don’t want to end up like Moses where because of his response (not instructed by God) of hitting the rock instead of speaking to it costed him the Promised Land. I really don’t want these “challenges” to pressure me into doing what is not instructed by God.
Let's not look at our "struggles" through the perspective of "struggle" (even though it is) but let's look at it as a "challenge". Because challenges inspire us to move forward and to do better and to be better the next time round.
Catch uppppp... Friday 15th April 2011
This date was a particularly special one as it was my Birthday. And I spent it at Chapel where I received this Birthday Revelation.
I remember God impressing in my heart this: I am only SIGNIFICANT because of Christ who is in me. It's all about Christ! The cause of Christ. This year my birthday is not about my needs but the needs of others. I am insignificant (in the greater scheme of things) and God is significant in me! These past 22 years I've been living under the understanding that I am only significant as my performance proves but the new revelation for my birthday this year is that I am already significant because of Christ.
"I don't care what they say I'm in love with you."
And during Chapel's Praise&Worship: My spirit said less and less of me and more and more of Him. When I am less of me and pursue God and investing in others, my needs will be filled in and by God. It just secured my insecurities about who will take care of me and my family when I 'give' into others? But God says "I will
Stephanie."
And so Stephanie's 23rd Birthday Revelation from God is: in all my insecurities about
who will 'fend' for me and my family when God is asking me to give
more and invest more into people, God simply yet reassuringly says 'I
will Stephanie!' That voice, those words just tore down 23 years of
foundational insecurities. God's 'I will' is a guarantee I will hold
unto. Whose guarantee are you holding unto today?
Catch uppppp... Sunday 10th April 2011
I was serving at Kids church on this date and remember the guest speaker sharing with the kids about Praise & Worship. She referred to Luke 18:15-16 where it says "People were also bringing babies to Jesus for him to place his hands on them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. 16 But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."
I really learnt from these verses that God adores His children and wants to be with them! This really gave new perspective and new meaning to my ministry and the way in which I do it because I understand more now that my ministry is about bringing these children to God, just the way God intends.
We had a teachers meeting on this date as well and I remember sort of feeling 'tired' and "weared down" and during that meeting the Holy Spirit just said this: you still need to keep swimming Stephanie. The race has not yet finished. You've taken your breathe of fresh air but now you have to dive your head back in the water and keep swimming this race." I knew this was encouragement from God. Encouragement for me to keep going ahead as the race is no yet done. It isn't done just because you've taken a breathe of fresh air. You haven't reached the finish line yet!
Catch uppppp... Saturday 9th April 2011
I was at work this date and I was talking to my work friend who was interested in what I did on the weekends and what I studied. When I shared to her about my College life and my ministry life and God's call over me since I was 12 years old, she was inspired. She was interested and then inspired.
I remember talking with her about all these things and just remember God telling how this is what life is about. To share your life story with others so that others will be inspired, inspired to know Christ that is in me.
And I remember learning that as long as I want to be used by God, as long as I am opened to the moving of His Spirit then there is no reason for me to never or to stop sharing my story, my story that reflects Christ alone.
This was a reflection for me to always be mirroring Christ. Who are we mirroring each day?
Catch uppppp... Friday 8th April 2011
I had a chat with my mum on this date. We talked about a few things but I could remember most was about how our birthdays were coming up in a few weeks and I vividly remember God's Spirit telling me to encourage my mum. Encourage her that as she approaches her 50th Birthday that there are still many more things God wants her to accomplish. Her work is not done yet but rather this is only the start. And as long as she is open to the moving and direction of God, she will step up further in God and in every other aspect in her life. I also remember God saying that for the both of us, my mum and I to start outworking what has been trusted in our hands. This is not the time to sit idle but to work for the Kingdom of God like as if today may be the last day.
And I remember God impressing in my heart that as long as we (my mum and I) do the will of God and step it up this year as He has planned greater things for us, He will step up the blessings that He has already purposed for us.
So I was encouraged by this Godly message as I believe that God has already purposed great blessing for all His children but at times what prevents or hinders that blessing is us. When we don't follow in obedience then that blessing is held of until a further time when we are ready to step it up. This doesn't mean that God is a mean God and just wants to "tease" us with blessings but rather the way I see it is the more we step up the larger the blessing becomes. The more smaller steps we take the more smaller the blessing becomes. Which is your pick?
Catch uppppp... Monday 28th March 2011
So the night before Monday 28th March, 2011 God had stirred me to bless my sister. She had a school camp that was coming up where she needed to pay the rest of her fees. And that night God stirred me to bless her financially. So I followed through with the Spirit despite considering my own situation of having to save for my own future tuition fees. But my spirit just urged me to follow and I did.
And guess what happened the next day? I went ti work and got an email saying I got a pay rise and that there were some miscalculated pays from last year which they will repay back to me before July this year!!!
How great is our God?! I never thought of it but God gave it to me and He even multiplied. I didn't have to do much except to just follow His lead and Spirit to bless my sister the night before!
God's promise is true: be blessed to be a blessing. Don't ever think
you can out bless God. He will show you otherwise.
It was also in this week and during this time when I put into practice what I've learnt about a leader's prayer and how powerful and impactful it is. And the above testimony is evidence of that. I didn't need to worry about work shifts or pay as long as I did my best at work and trusted God through prayer, it was given to me!
Catch uppppp... Friday 25th March 2011
This week during Chapel we had a special event. It was where Chapel was "touching heaven" and we were lifting the roof in Praise and Worship and friends were praying and prophesying for each other. The atmosphere was indescribable. It was amazing to be in His house!
I remember during this particular Chapel Service my spirit say to God "Lord, I surrender to Your perfect will and Your perfect heart." At the time I didn't quite understand why my spirit was saying that was in hindsight now I know that my spirit wants to be obedient to God and wants to just follow God alone and no one else, not even my own ambitions.
It was also at this Chapel Service where God spoke to my dear friend, Lovely. He spoke to her, a message (prophesy) for me. She said that God was saying how God has chosen me and that He will use my mightly. "She is mine" says the Lord and "I will use her for Children's Ministry but nit necessarily in teaching." After hearing that I knew exactly what God was talking about. I was in tears!
I have been struggling with this the past few weeks. I know God has been speaking into my heart about perhaps one day leaving Children's Ministry but still somehow working
with kids. Perhaps in a Children's Pastor role? I wasn't 100 sure but after this message from God through my friend, it just confirmed what God had been putting in my heart lately about it.
Who would have thought? I never did! And that's the beauty of our God, what never passes your mind or thought will be given to you, as He promises.
Catch uppppp... Thursday 17th March 2011
So I was at the Entertainment Centre and we were praying for the start of Colour Conference 2011. All the volunteers gathered together in the foyer and I remember vividly the presence of the Holy Spirit during that prayer time at 2pm. It was strong and evident. It was almost tangible. It was stirring. I knew that this Conference was out to change these women's lives and it was going to be awesome for the Kingdom of God! I believed that this particular prayer along with many others was what made the Conference great!
During Colour Conference I learnt through my assigned role, the "meet & greet team" that seeing these women had touched my spirit and brought tears to my eyes as I began to see them the way God does. They feel valued, loved, special because of God. In a strange way God made me feel these womens' heart beat. What made them "tick" was running through my mind. It was strange but the only conclusion I could make of it was that God wanted me start relating to His people the way He does so that I could better understand them and better help them in their journey with God!
I was blessed by these ladies and by God's work in them!
Catch uppppp... Tuesday 15th March 2011
Geez, it's been a while since I last blogged! To catch upppp... On Tuesday 15th March, 2011 I learnt this:
That the best teacher in the whole world to me is the Holy Spirit. I'm learning that when God instructs or directs me, the Holy Spirit is there to encourage me,
guide me, strengthen me and most times poses questions in my heart
that causes me to reflect and reassess. I thank God for the Holy Spirit! I would be lost without Him!
