Time to take it easy...
Early this morning around 4am I was suddenly awaken by the tightening of my chest and the lack of oxygen into my body. I was suffocating. I was having an asthma attack. But thank God my parents hadn't left for work yet otherwise I would have been home alone since my sister was sleeping over my cousin's place.
Anyways, I immediately searched for my puffer as I was fighting for each breath, even the tiniest breath of air (at that time) seemed enough for me. And as the puffer helped relieve my pain I began to question what was going on with my body. What was my body trying to tell me?
I AM TIRED.
I spent the whole day at church yesterday and have been caught up in so many activities that I've neglected my body in the sense of taking care.
So from now on I'm going to "care less" about other things and place more importance on my health.
A period of just enough.
So I've been looking for a prt timr job but it isn't as easy as it seems. But I'm definitely learning that I'm in a period of 'just enough' like Pastor Sam had been preaching lately.
The period of 'just enough' is a time and opportunity for God to do great things, make miracles and most importantly it's a time where I can re-assess my priorities and goal and dreams in my life.
During this period I know that I'm being taught that the things I thought were important or what I wanted are not and in replace I'm coming to terms with soemthing new, something I've never thought about. The result of such a shift is change. And when it's change for the better, whatever I leave behind is worth letting go. Remember
Philippians 3:7-8 -> "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ."
The assurance that comes from His voice...
I was at my cell group last night and as I was listening to the sharing I was opening the pages of my Bible and my fingers stopped on
Isaiah 30: 21 where my blue highlighter caught my eyes.
I read the verse which says
"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way, walk in it."As I was reading this verse it was like as if God was speaking these words right into my ear and the words were pierced into my heart.
I knew exactly what it meant. It was speaking about my current confusion and insecurities about which career path to take. But His words is like the light in the dark, it will always bring light to your path.
So when He speaks to you take note and never let it go fot it strengthen your walk.
Everyday is an education.
Okey so on a lighter note because I've been writing about "depressing" things so this post will definitely be more "lighter." Hehehe... Trust me! =)
So my local church is going to be celebrating it's 13th Birthday in 2 weeks time and my mum and aunt is cooking the lunch for about 400 people. This week is going to be hectic and it all started this weekend!
I went over to my aunt's place yesterday to help out and surprisingly my dad got involved! He was like 'is there anything I can do to make it quicker so we can go home?' and with that my mum sent him to work in the kitchen! Starting off with some chopping and then some blendering.
We were all working in the kitchen and were standing so close to each other. I told my aunt 'hey we're in a big kitchen but why are we all squashed together' Apparently it's like her old family home where everyone works in the one kitchen catering to hundreds of people.
The point of this post was to show that Australia does not have the laziest husbands because my dad cleans, washes and now helps with cooking! Hahahaa...
But the most important lesson I learnt was that I've lived and been with my dad for all my 21 years of life (thus far) and I still am learning so many different things about him. He's been the man he is for 50 odd years and I thought that I knew everything about him but it turns out I'm still learning and getting to know who my father is, what makes him tick etc.
And the same goes with our Father up above. He is unseen and untouchable - how well do you know Him? It takes time, effort, quality relationship to get to know our paternal father how much more time, effort and "intimacy" do we need to get to know our Father in heaven?
So don't waste anytime...just as you spend quality time learning about your father on earth don't forget to take the time to spend quality time to learn about Him...
I told you it was never going to be easy...
We often hear people support us in times of difficulties by saying 'it's never easy, you have to put in the hard work etc.' And we tend to say 'yes, yes I understand' but really how much of it do we understand? We understand only simply by hearing it or do we understand by the experiences we endure every single day? To me the latter really drills it into my mind - to understand what it truly means when they say 'I told you it was never going to be easy.'
I can't recall if I've blogged about the upcoming changes for the Kidz Church program (where I minister) but to keep you updated: we're undergoing some structural changes to better improve they way we minister to the children. Without going into too much detail the point is this new program means more work, more time, more effort, more commitment and more and more and more of each of us teachers both physically and spiritually.
I'm not complaining about the work or the tasks that are assigned to us because I know that whatever it takes I want to be here (as in this ministry for the long haul) but without me realising I tend to let my "human being" take over and control my Spirit.
I went into this ministry with no big plans just a heart that is willing to serve and after a journey of 3 years I've learnt that this is my passion to teach. I never really thought how much goes into being a teacher but I do now. I never really knew how much my teachers cared about me but I do now. I never really cared if teachers didn't understand me because I wanted things my ways but I understand why know.
Teaching is a very hard thing. To engage and maintain the childrens attention is most difficult physically I think because I put my "body" into this ministry. I do whatever it takes to get them to participate but they only do very little in return. I jump up and down, clap and speak loudly but they respond with soft claps and boring looks on their faces. But even more beyond that which is most difficult is taking the kids on a journey through the Spirit to encounter God. I know that when my Spirit is tainted or disturbed by the influences around me, what I hear or see etc. I know that whatever I do whether it be jumping, dancing, singing, "yelling" it won't change them. They will still be just as they are - "untouched" because my Spirit is being led to "feel" the "disturbances" around me/my situation.
My point is: like right at this moment after going to another meeting with the teachers. My mind is spinning from all the things that still need to be planned, what needs to be bought, prepared etc. My thoughts are full of negativity, hopelessness and doubt. But as I "torment" myself with all these negative thoughts that are non-constructive and hurtful the Holy Spirit is ever so great and sensitive to my needs. He just said: 'I told you it was never going to be easy but if you want the change you've always been talking about you need to go through the process of change first. You know that this is your passion and your calling and just as I have put you here I will surely see you through it. Just do what you can and I will do the rest.'
How comforting are those kinds of words? I mean really when you hear it straight from the Holy Spirit! There's a great difference between reading it from the Bible in "calm" times in your life and compared to the "storms" in your life and you hear those words spoken into your heart. It's like a breeze on a hot summers day or the rainbow after the rain. And all in all all I can say is 'God truly who am I to ever doubt you? Seriously.' If doubt had ever been put down as a crime or a sin against His commandments, I would probably be the first on convicted! But truly I'm appreciative of the gift of His patience because He never punishes me for my doubt but He shows me how my doubt can be turned into great possibilities when I FULLY TRUST HIM!
So whatever it is you're facing right now, it could be that ministry, or that job, or that boss, or your school work just remember that He said 'it's never going to be easy' BUT let Him show you how that problem with His provision will be turned around from a defeat to a victory! =)
To make your life much more easier, just O B E Y !
I was reading through my notes that I always write down as I listen to the weekly sermons. Today I was reading one that dated back to the 1st May 2009 by my local church Pastor. He was preaching about full and total obedience and it had put into spiritual context everything I've been experiencing these past few weeks. I knew it was very God-ly driven.
My notes read: -
Facts about obedience:
a) each miracle is linked to an act of obedience.
-there is a set of instructions that need to be followed in order for a miracle to happen.
-Numbers 9:23 -> proof that you are a believer
-> by the
command of the Lord! (not by your situation or feelings)
-> through the authorities in your life. (e.g Moses)
This has taught me that every miracle I hope for comes with a set of instructions that I need to follow and obey. No matter what my situation or feeling is at the moment I need to choose to obey for it is His command.
b) your assignment/purpose, calling/destiny will contain a list of instructions from God.
-after you know the instructions regarding the fulfillment of your destiny you need to be obedient in times of
process. -don’t take matter into your own hands.
-trust that He will fulfill the calling in your life.
-it will be difficult
but be obedient in your process!This has taught me to be patient in my process even when I don’t “see” anything happening yet. I have to learn to surrender it all to Him and let Him do the rest.
But when I surrender everything into Him it doesn’t mean that I’m left alone and He is gone off to “make things happen.” No, but rather He has given me the Holy Spirit who acts on His “behalf.” For example the Abraham, Eleazar, Isaac and Rebecca story.
Abraham: wants to find a daughter-in-law so he sent
Eleazar: who represents the Holy Spirit to go find
Isaac: Abraham’s son a wife who is
Rebecca: the daughter-in-law.
Here, Abraham had his preferences as to what kind of daughter-in-law he was looking for but laid them into the hands of Eleazar. I have my own preferences, wants, dreams and desires but I must lay them down into the hands of the Holy Spirit.
Psalm 139:16 -> your days have been written; He knows the every detail of your life so don’t fear! Once you surrender into Him don’t be afraid because He has already planned everything in your life, you’ll be fine! (I know it’s easier said than done.)
Ephesians 2:10 -> we are called to do the good work but remember not to be too picky! I’m learning to surrender and let Him guide me into the work industry He wants me to be. I’m learning not be “choosy” and just do it!
Romans 14:12 -> everything you do will be accounted by God. So don’t waste away your life and make sure that everything you do counts in the eyes of God. (This is really a strike to my heart.)
Psalm 16:11 -> when you obey God it maybe hard but you will have everlasting joy.
Ephesians 5:17 -> find the will of God. It will make your life much more easier.
Your total obedience will determine whether or not you live in your destiny. So don’t take light heartedly when He asks you to obey.
You will never receive an instruction from the Holy Spirit that contradicts His words:
Psalm 119: 71 –
“It was good for me to be afflicted so that I may learn your decrees”John 14:26 – the Holy Spirit will constantly remind us of His promises to us.
d) God will permit adversity to enable us to learn His laws.
-pain is sometimes necessary for us to understand the importance of obedience.
-Psalm 105: 16-23 ->
the strength of a hero is born through pain.-problems shape us to be obedient to God -> Revayah begins with struggles.
e) God offers reward as incentives for obedience -> Deutronomy 28:2
f) Obedience is the only proof that you truly trust Him.
So the point is choose to obey Him! You’ll realize that it’s harder to disobey than to obey Him. Don’t pick a fight with Him by disobeying because we know that that will just prolong our time of process (Israelites in the desert for 40 years.)
Do you trust me now?
I was doing my daily devotional and prayer today. I spilled my guts out to God leaving no details behind. And as I was praying about all my concerns and confusion and basically praying that every vision God has put in me and every promise He has said over my life I just confirmed it with my faith. And as I went through every vision and every promise He was reminding me:
- that He "warned" me by giving me these visions
- that He was not "joking" when He said I had to "free fall" and trust Him
- that He was serious when He said that this year I would be experience storms\- that this will be the year where I come into alignment with His plans.
He reminded me of the 'driving in the car' vision. He revealed to me that just like I was in the car with no GPS or map He is taking/driving me to destination where I don't need to concern myself with qualifications or education or experience because He will see me through to the end. The GPS and maps are in a way representative of the things I rely most on: degree, money, connection, education and experience but God is saying that don;t rely on those things to get you to your destiniation-I will take you there. I'm not saying that education and qualification etc. are not important but rather don't use them as your key to everything because really He is the key to the way, the truth and the light.
Therefore my doubts are unsubstantiated because He has spoken into my life and He will to it that it will come to pass. The more I question and doubt and start making my own plans the more fog and mist there is in my vision-so I need to just be quiet and trust Him.
I learnt today that I need to strat trusting Him more and to just 'go with the flow' in the sense that I need to have the attitued of 'I'll do the work in the industry that You want me to be in. Not to think and choose what I want or to go into an industry thinking and expecting to gain something in return but to go into the industry He wants me to be in to learn more of His plans and my destiny and to be a blessing.'
So if He's spoken to you or given you visions or promises, just trust Him and don't make Him put you through more trials and test to make you see that He is working MIGHTY things in your life!
E X P E R I E N C E
So in my last post I described how cofused I was and how much I was a total wreck in cell group. In this post I'd like to continue on a little bit more on it.
So I eventually "settled" myself. I tried to think positive and look forward. Last Friday I went to the Friday church service at Artarmon. At first it was quite a struggle since the service had moved from teh City to Artarmon and the transportation was a little tricky-but when you know that tha is where you're supposed to be you'll end up fidning yourself there despite your excuses of "Oh, I can't because..."
I went and was really blessed. I mean no just blessed because I got what I wanted but I was blessed because of something else. You heard people say 'oh God blessed me with a new job so that's why I'm sharing about how God is so good to me.' But have you ever stopped, thought and shared about how Gos is still great even when things aren't going your way?
I often hear people testify about how wonderful God is when they get a new house or a new job or a new boy/girl-friend but what about when you're "own in the slums" will you still say God is great?
I feel as though God has been questioning and testing me on this. Will I still stay true to His word and His commands even if it "kills" me? Will I still trust God with my life and future even if at the moment all I can see are clouds and mist in my vision? Can I still say God is faithful even if everything I want (my dreams) are stripped away for a greater good that I currently have not completely understand. Will I fulfill every commitment I have made in Christ just as He has done so with every promise in me so far? Is my life all about keeping true to all the things I want or keeping true to all the things He has planned for me?
I hope that today you make the decision to be thankful with what you have even if it's not exactly what you want because He surely knows what you need more than you know yourself.
Anyways, I'm going off on a tangent now. So what did I learn on Friday night?
- sufferings and trials are to reveal the real me. Suffering is a way to correct me. So as I walk on this journey every expereince I go through is only there to show to me and not to anyone else what I'm capable of and who I really am inside.
- God will come around and test us: our faith, strength, talents, calling. When these are tested, we'll feel pain and suffering because it's like an exam we don't like it but have to do it.
- ministering out of experience enables one to minister to the life of Christ more effectively. I understand why I'm going through what I'm going through and that is to be a blessing to those who are in similar situations and to be a testament to the word of God that He is true and is faithful to us all. And on a personal note: this blog is a "project" from God to me where I pour out all my experiences here in hope that it will be a blessing to someone out there.-the experience we go through so to train our sensitivity and compassion for thsoe around us who are in need.
- experience gives you the strength and convinces you that whatever happens in life God is still in control.-trials when well managed will bring good results.
-through tribulations and process the end reward is to 'want nothing.'
-He is my refinier and I am the gold. He will not leave me in the heat but will watch over every step of the process of refinement.
Don't run away from the life experiences you face but go through it with the strength and wisdom of the Lord.
