My 'food' is to do the will of God.
Last Friday my Pastor had shared a very insightful message from John 4:32-38. This message had spoken directly into current situation. It brought strength and courage! It has made me more confident in my pursuit of God's will.
These are just some notes/statements that were my highlights:-
-Our 'food' is to do the will of God. To be faithful to it. In God there is something you cannot find on earth.
-May my appetite be to do the will of God. May His calling quench my thirst and hunger.
-Nothing can beat the satisfaction of doing His will and pursuing it.
-If we are always in need of things and are unsatisfied then we are not pursuing His will for us.
-Doing the will of God compares to nothings else but total satisfaction.
John 4:35-> Holy Spirit interpreted 'field' for Steph as children, the next generation. They are ready to be shaped and moulded.
John 4:37-> He doesn't want us to look at the situation, the finance, the timing etc. But God urges us to look at the harvest that is ready for reaping.
-Make God's will our 'food'. -> isn't this the life to live? To have His will as our diet?
John 4:38-> Jesus has sown the initial seed in us through the cross. Now it is our turn to reap the sown and let it be a blessing to others=sharing the blessings=sharing Christ.
-If you haven't been receiving the reap from God then perhaps you are not doing the will of God!
Powerful message!!
My promise to you for your obedience.
As I've talked to my dad about going to leadership college, he has some concerns. He's concerned that instead of taking a step forward in my life and career I'm rather taking a step backward (according to him). He just doesn't want to see me regret and live a life always in "need". And I totallty understand where he is coming from. I mean I am the his eldest daughter, he has expectations of me to do well and succeed. And I have no problems with that expectation. I want to make my father happy and proud of me but when but when it comes to something like pursuing God's call over my life I won't compromise. And I'm thankful that my father understands this.
But of course knowing the 'thinker' and cautious person that I am, I think about it. I thought deeply about what my dad sais. What if I am taking a step backward? Why am I becoming even more dependent upon my parents when I should be making something of myself? Should I not be building a career and thriving success now? Lord what are you doing to me? Why is it that this decision that I'm taking making me look like I'm taking a step backward (to the "naked eye")? Should I not be moving forward now? These were thoughts that raced around my mind as I deeply thought about the conversation I had with my dad.
It made me restless. But I knew deep down in my heart that this was the right decision. And to show it God spoke to me through today's devotional that read:
My Princess Warrior, I have so many blessings I want to pour out on you. However, you hold the kids that unlock the amazing plans I have for your life. It is your obedience to me that will open the windows of heaven for you to receieve. If you trust Me, I will bless you with epace. If you share with others what I have given you, I will give you even more. If you choose My will over your rights, I will give you great favor wherever you go. If you will pray. I will give you power to change the world around you, My beloved Warrior. All that I ask is that you love and obey My commands, and you and your family will be forever blessed because of your obedience to Me!This message spoke directly to my heart! I put a rest to all my conerns and restlessness. I know that God is saying to me that as I obey Him and obey His commands that God Himself will bless me and my family because of my obedience to Him.
And so I know that it may not make total sense to many people around me as to why I have chosen to make this decision but I know and believe that as I believe to obey His commands, He will be the One who blesses me and my family. And in that I trust and believe in my God!
Awesome!
Going back to school?
Sunday 14th Nov 2010
I spoke to my dad about going to school again. He's first reaction was 'good.' And I knew he would say that because he's been wanting me to go do Masters etc. But when I told him about Bible college, he just went silent. I asked him what he thought he said exactly what he told me when I had finished high school, which was 'I only want you to do what you feel is right. If you say that God is asking you to do it then I can't stop you. But I can only guide you and suggest to you that you should do something that will set you up financially. So you won't live in need. I don't want you to ever live in need.' And after recornfirming with him about my plans to study again my dad didn't 'stop' me but rather warn me to be sure that this is what I should do. He is just worried about my future, which I totally understand. He's main concern is my finance. But as I sat there listening to him, I also knew that I needed to listen to my Father in heaven. And my Father in Heaven just reassured me that when I obey Him He will surely take care of every detail in my life including my finance. And in this present time I'm holding onto that word. I'm not discounting what my dad is saying but I know my God and I know that He will take care of me!
And so this conversation just made me realise two things:
1. That my parents will always love and support my every decision, especially when it is Godly annointed
2. To walk in obedience with Christ means knowing full well what He had planned for us. If we know full well which way He wants us to walk into then every door (parental approval) shall open for you. And in this walk in full confidence that God is with you along the way.
And so I sit here in full assurance that my parents support me and I'm thankful only to God Himself! For He has planted His desire in my heart and in my parents' hearts. Now it's just time to speak to my leaders.
Testing my commitment!
So in my last post I was talking about renewing my commitment and walking into God’s plans. Well what a twist of events it has been for me in the past week after writing that post!
So basically I had an interview for a job in my field of interest – media and television. But after coming home from that interview I felt unrest. I knew that I needed to pray about it more. I was twisting and turning regarding this because from one side the job appealed very much to my media interests, and even the (cautious in saying this) ‘old Steph.’ Because I would get to travel, experience new things and work within what I had studied etc. But still that unrest.
When I had gone home I spoke to my sister who comforted me. This was also when the Holy Spirit spoke to me to make me understand the situation.
Basically I troubled about how I was feeling. I was concerned that I wasn’t ‘over the moon happy’ about the job even though I was almost sure they would give me the job. And I knew that when I was having trouble that I needed to sort this out with Him.
So as I sat there talking with my sister, I spoke to God and asked Him. Why do I feel unrest? Is it wrong to take this job? Will this job not take me to fulfilling Your destiny for me? And basically the Holy Spirit answered with: taking the job is not a bad thing. Taking the job will open doors for your career and for you and eventually perhaps lead you into fulfilling God’s plan. But if you don’t take the job you can focus on your recent commitment to God about writing a book, about pursuing Him and eventually fulfilling Hid plan in His way and not your’s.
That was my option and I knew deep down in my heart that I couldn’t live with myself if I had gone about pursuing God’s destiny in my own way. So I knew that I had to turn down the job.
And this revelation tied in very well with all my devotional readings that week that were about (essentially) putting my life into Christ’s hands and trusting Him by picking up ‘the cross.’
This was further encouraged to me through my daily text message devotional from my aunt, which was talking about how to be faithful to God we have to be ready to let certain things go for Him, for He said in one of Jesus’ parables: “come with me” in Luke 9: 57-61. What I had got from this verse was that I wasn’t to be two-minded about my future. I had to decide whether to “let it all go” and take up my ‘cross’ or walk my own path and do it myself.
What also “cemented” my path to choose God’s way and plan over my own and this job was winning the “Kindest Teachers Award” that was nominated by the children! How about that! The children voted me! And not to brag about it but it felt good to know that the kids appreciated and could see my passion to teach and love them! This just topped off everything else in terms of knowing what I needed to do in terms of choosing pursing God’s plan for me (essentially teaching) and my own way (media work).
But of course knowing me, I had to continue “questioning” and asking God for more “signs” that would show specifically what I needed to do if I did not take this job (which they had not officially offered just yet). So Monday last week as I was pondering this the Holy Spirit softly spoke two words: Bible School. And this just brought shivers down my spine but also gave me like a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach, which I’ve only ever felt a few times where God had spoken to me specifically. So this time I knew too that God was leading me.
I decided to Google ‘Bible Schools in Sydney’ and of course the first link I went to was Hillsong Leadership College. I was basically led by the Holy Spirit to read and read and read. As the Holy Spirit led me I read up on the Pastorial stream and specifically Children’s Ministry.
I knew something was brewing and I knew this was the path God wants me to take as the Holy Spirit reminded me of all the previous signs God had given me about going to Bible such as the year 10 career survey that concluded my best occupation was Religious Minister, also God had spoken to me in my last high school year to go and pursue Him and His ministry but I had hesitated and wanted to wait and compromised with Him. I asked Him if I could get a degree first for myself-have something attached to my name that I had achieved myself before letting it all go. And now it’s like God is saying: ok Steph you got the degree now, so where else are you going?
This all God telling me and reminding me that I can’t run or hide from the promises He has for me and the promises I have made to Him. God will seek and continue to pursue me as long as I continue to pursue Him!
Come Tuesday, I received the job offer but with a heavy heart I respectfully turned it down immediately. I knew that I couldn’t mess around with God’s call and timing. And as I had committed myself to Him I was going to stick to it just as Christ did!
Come Wednesday (by now you can notice how I’m very cautious and always want signs to help me decide) I was working when a customer said this: “you have a great voice! You should be in public speaking somewhere on a stand/podium and giving speeches. You shouldn’t be in here!” And I was like “whattt…???” (only in my mind of course) Like this lady did not know who I was or where I’m at in my life but it was like as if she was sent to my shop to speak those words of encouragement that hey God does have a great plan for your life Steph and it involves speaking to people in public!
And to top it all off one of my cousins had given a comment on my social networking site that read: you could be like our uncle (the Pastor). And that further encouraged me as I knew that I had the support and the signs enough for me to do it!
But of course I need to speak to my parents and leaders. I just pray that may God’s will be done in my life because I’m over walking alone and doing things my way. I want to do it God’s way so I can get God’s results!
