My hair smells like milk...
I was enjoying one of my many wonderful deep sleeps until I was awaken by the horrible sound of an incoming call from my mobile phone. At first I let it ring for a bit confident that it was my mum calling as usual to wake me up. But when my ringtone didn't call out "k-ring...k-ring...Mum" it caused me to take a looko at the caller ID which caught my surprise as it was an office number. I looked up at my clock which read 7.15am. My mind was like "who the heck would ring at such a time?" (And please bear in mind that "morning" for me is like 12 noon) So I cleared my throat and answered the call. At this point I was half awake and half dead to the world. My mind wasn't switched on yet. Just like a computer it needs "loading time."
Anyways, it turned out to be the childcare place I had an interview with a few weeks ago. I can't remember what words were exchanged during that conversation since I was still grappling with the fact that 'I'm sleepy, I have to get out of bed and work?'
But the important things I remembered which were come to work today at 9am until 5pm at Alexandria, wear black pants, uniform provided, bring bank and tax details.
And with that I was off running getting ready and still trying to wake myself up! (I'm so useless in the mornings! Seriously!)
So I got to work that day on time. With about 20 mins to spare before work I sipped on my chai latte hoping it'll help me "wake up."
The day went by both slow and fast. It went by slow everytime I thought about how sleepy and tired I felt. It went by fast everytime I played with the kids!
And basically that's all I did. PLAY! Imagine that I play at work! The first thing I did was play in the playground with the kids. It was hot! Then we moved on inside where the kids (2-4y.o) played some more. Then we had morning tea, where I had to clean up after they ate. Then I was shuffled into the nursery where I played with the 0-2 y.o. Then I was on kitchen duty again after the 2-4 y.o finished their lunch. Then I helped the kids have an afternoon nap. Then I was allowed lunch. Then (to the "HIGHLIGHT" of my day) NAPPY CHANGING TIME! As the kids woke up I had to change each and everyone of their nappies! The bright side was there were a few who didn't need nappies so that helped! I'm not complaining about the nappy changing. I'm definitely learning alot from it! But there was a point where I couldn't tell which kids I had changed and which ones I didn't eventhough there was a chart with there names and I had to tick off which ones had been done. But it was so hard since I didn't know what their names were and when asked what their names were they would just stare into my eyes with no response. So in the end there were some kids who were already potty trained but I put nappies on them! So bad! =(
Anyways after all that was done we had afternoon tea and then played in the playground again. Then I was called to go into the nursery and play there where the kids had a "water fight." It was so hot that day that the teacher threw water to cool them down. And I basically stayed in the nursery until I left for home time.
Things that I've learnt from that day:
- learning to be more patient
- the first kid that approached me was named Kristoffer (so cute!)
- sharpened my nappy changing skills
- sharpening my communicative skills with kids
- learning to be more energetic
- learning not to complain in my situation. There are people out there who are doing it far worse than me.
And most importantly I'm leanring to love kids again!
Tears of a teacher...
In Kidz Church today during the praise & worship I tear-ed up. Not because I had a fight with the kids or because of something terrible but purely because of God's presence and love for His kids.
We were singing the song "Heart of Worship" and towards the end Asya (the worship leader) asked only the kids to sing the chorus. And as I stood there I was "in the moment" where nothing mattered. It didn't matter that I was tired, sleepy, hungry, feeling the pressure from uni work etc. All that didn't matter. What seemed to be most important was being in a room filled with all His precious little ones. I stood there with my eyes shut, head raised up, ears opened listening to the small voices coming out of the small little bodies of these kids. They literally sang out on the top of their lungs the words:
Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that your my God
You're all together lovely
Altogether worthy
Altogether wonderful to me
And all I could do was cry. Tears of uplifting, tears of joy and of love came running down my cheeks. I knew God was saying that this is what He wanted-to hear His children sing to Him for it is pleasing in His eyes.
I knew that as the kids were singing that song, heaven stoppped and all the angels came about to listen and witness His precious ones loving Him through worship. It was indescribable.
I mean we as teachers get tired with routines, the same thing every week, "active" and "non-active" kids, those who listen and those who don't but seriously at the end of the day what we do is not just a service, it's not just a lesson but it's taking these kids on a journey to experience God, to love Him and to know Him on a personal level. And after seeing and listening to those kids sing that song like that I know that all the things we do in preparation for it is worth nothing. I mean all the hard work and maybe critics about how tired we get but when we get to witness something like this everything doesn't matter because we know that what we do is just for Him.
So I'm learning that whatever I do, no matter how tired or frustrated or pressuring it is know that it's all rewarded by Him and at times it may not be through materialistic things. It could be the small things in life like listening to the kids sing like that. It's priceless.
Getting in touch with the little girl inside me...
Since I've been in the creative and decor team of Kidz Church, I've rekindled my "interest" in arts and crafts. Scissors and sticky tape have been my "weapons" and strangely enough seeing my cousin Grace cut out and stick random pictures from magazines have also caught my attention.
I was wondering in her room yesterday. She quite creative so her room is full of pictures and texts that scream out fashion, design, colour, youth and fun!
So I thought 'hey maybe I could do this too?!' So I took some magazines from her and will try to start making collages in a scrapbook form and see how it goes. Because it was something I loved when I was a kid: making scrapbooks and sticking and pasting.
Hhmm... have I been hanging around and thinking about children too much? Is the little girl inside of me trying to get out? I wonder... Hhmmmm....
Suffer because I'm afraid...
We had Kidz Church this morning and it was AWESOME! I certainly enjoyed myself even though I'm suffering from the side effects of it now - shortness of breath, strained throat, aches in my body and tiredness. Nevertheless when you serve with your whole heart and with all your passion no amount of "weight" will pull you down the next time around.
Anyways, what I wanted to share was about my sudden fear with microphones has caused me a great deal of trouble. So if you've been reading from my older older older posts you would have known that I was elected high school captain. Along with this role is to speak in public. And given that I'm a "reserved" person I had a fear and that was the microphone. I remember as a kid all I wanted was to be "invisible" and not just in the childish sense but also as I grew up I tried to do things that didn't bring attention to me. My primary school teachers would forget my name because I was so quiet and to me that wasn't an offense but rather a strange "compliment" because it showed I wasn't bringing attention to myself.
But anyways back to today, so I was supposed to use the microphone to speak and give instructions to the kids regarding the games. My leader also advised me to use the mic but I preferred not too. I said that I'll be fine using my natural voice. (At the time I thought I would be okey but now I'm definitely not sure about that!) So as stubborn as I am I went through it without a mic and as I reflect upon it (as I always do) on my way home I asked God why I was so reluctant to use the mic? What was it that "frightened" me of microphones? And I heard His voice reminding me of the person I used to be, the shy, reserved, quiet, "invisible" girl and the woman God is moulding me to be which is a strong, mighty woman of God.
And I understand now that life has its stages. There comes a time in each and everyone of our lives where we are reminded of who or what we used to be but then we are also directed to see who we are called to be and the ultimate decision is in our hands. Whether we choose to live in the comforts of our weaknesses or do we step out in the discomforting process of fulfilling our calling.
My suggestion here is don't be fooled and live in your comfortable confines and suffer because you are afraid but be courageous and be bold for you lose nothing when you let go of your weaknesses!
Mastercard, VISA, Amex or Diner Club can't buy what I have in YOU!
So last Monday I wrote about how I suffered an asthma attack early in the morning. Today I found out why it happened.
Let's rewind a little a bit.
Tuesday night my aunty who is currently visiting from Indonesia slept over my house. I initially didn't want to go out on the Wednesday because I really wanted to rest but I felt it was my responsibility to take her out. So we went out to Bondi Junction yesterday.
We had coffee and for most of the time we had a chat. She shared to me about our family back in Indonesia. She spoke of their journey and process with God both financially and spiritually. I was moved to give financially to my cousin but I realise I'm no position to do so. I'm currently a part time student and unemployed, looking for work. But God stirred in my heart to give.
Anyways, I promised to God that when I started to work I would give for my family.
We walked into Diva, the accessory store. I love Diva! I always visit a Diva store every time I'm in a Westfield mall.
So I went in with my aunt, who is also a lover of accessories. I told myself that I wouldn't buy anything because I had no spare cash to spend. I told myself that I was only going to LOOK!
But of course part of being a female is one's love for fashion and accessories. I couldn't help myself a found a beautiful flower ring that caught my eyes. I grabbed it. I put it on. I said "I'm buying it."
But the Holy Spirit reminded me:
- I was in no position to shop
- I promised that I would give for others first before myself
But I said "look, it looks good on me" as I watched myself in the mirror. "It fits perfectly on my finger. It suits all the clothes I have at home." At this point I was rationalizing this purchase for myself.
But at this point I was also in a dilemma whether to buy it for myself or for my aunt (Pastor's wife) in Indonesia who loves accessories too!
Then He suddenly whispered sharply into my ears "Steph, it's better to give out of your shortage rather than giving from your wealth. Everyone can give when they have money but what matters to me is when you give from nothing. And when you give, it opens up another opportunity for me to bless you greatly!"
I replied "Yes Lord, I know but really have a look. Doesn't it look perfect on finger? With the colour of my nail polish too?" I was so close to buying for myself until I heard Him say "will you be satisfied and happy to buy this ring for yourself and you wearing it or will you be satisfied and happy to see this ring on your aunty's finger and knowing that you bought it for her from your shortage?"
And that was all it took for me to decide and say "God, I'm going to buy it for my myself. I will be so happy to see this ring on my aunt's finger because I know that I have blessed her from my shortages."
And as I made this decision and spoke these words my phone started to vibrate. It was a phone call from an office number. I thought to myself 'who could be calling me from an office I didn't know?' But I just accepted the call and stepped out of the store.
Unbeknown to me it was a lady from a childcare centre where I had applied for work just last week. She asked if I was available to come in for an interview and I immediately said 'YES!'
I said to God "whether I do or don't get this job I will be thankful because just
experiencing you and your almighty control over my life is enough for me. No amount of money or possession can buy my experience and relationship with YOU!" After I hung up the phone I turned around and walked back into Diva while saying to God "Thank you Father for your timing is perfect! You are not one second too early or one second too late. You are always on time. And you always work for the greater good of your children. When I decided to give from my shortages you gave me more! You gave me a job interview!"
SO today I had the interview with the childcare centre in Alexandria. It was short, brief and great! Because even though I realise I have no childcare qualification or training, just my ministry, the lady is taking me on board on a casual basis as a childcare assistant!!! Can you believe that?! I applied for the administration role because I thought that because I have no qualification they wouldn't take me on so I applied for the admin role but she said that she was looking for a full time admin person BUT she said she had casual childcare assistant positions available. And when she said that I almost jumped out of my seat! Because that's exactly what I was looking for! So she put me down as casual/part time childcare assistant. She has to check my records first to make sure I have no criminal record and I'm in!
And so how does this relate to my asthma attack earlier on in the week you say? Well you see when God is preparing you for a great blessing ahead the "guys from the other side of the team" aren't very happy with it. They'll try to do whatever it takes to steer you away from His blessing.
So I believe that when you start experiencing troubles or resistance on your pathway towards His plan be sure to understand and believe that it's because there is great blessing not far where you are now. So just believe and keeping walking ahead because when you are walking with Him you are UNTOUCHABLE!* Shoes, Mastercard. Jacket, VISA. Bag Amex. My heart, PRICELESS for He has paid for all of me and you. *
